


Wake up, Princess.

by Picasso25



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Civil War Team Iron Man, Not A Fix-It, Not Steve Friendly, Not Team Cap friendly as a whole, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sorry Not Sorry, partially beta read, working on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-07-25 16:16:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 46,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7539394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Picasso25/pseuds/Picasso25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A possible aftermath of Civil War, mostly Tony centric, where people realize he may not have been a villain all this time. (Or what could happen if MCU writers had smelled the coffee and woken up...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. After the Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Really, what has Marvel against smart people?  
> Loki was raked through the coals like no one else (And with a sudden strong case of stupid in the Avengers... I mean, that invasion plan? Truly?), and Thor TDW had me cringing. I can suspend belief like the next movie going gal, but there's only so much protagonist centered morality I can swallow in one go...  
> And now they're doing it with Iron Man?!  
> I started to have that sinking feeling with AoU, but CW had me boiling in rage in front of my TV... Oh, NO! YOU DON'T!  
> So this my first ever fic (be nice? Please?) to try to come to term with my feelings about it all. To be honest, I don't know where this is going yet, I just want to ram Captain Asshole shield up his ass. Hard.  
> Don't like, don't read, you've been warned.  
> Oh, and English isn't my first language, so you may spot some errors here and there. Hope you can enjoy nonetheless!

It was amazing the kind of thinking a man could do in 24 hours...

Even concussed, with a ribcage that felt like a thousand pieces puzzle, in a freezing Siberian HYDRA bunker.  
And it wasn't 24 hours, but 22 and 47 minutes... But who's counting, right?

Thankfully, the disabling of the suit must have registered on FRIDAY, and she would have told everyone she could reach: Vision for sure, probably Pepper.  
Of course, outside of those two, all bets where off...

"Mr Stark? Mr Stark!!"

Tony took sight of the SI badges the men wore "Nice to see you, guys... Ribs broken, just so you know." And then promptly fainted. Finally.

It took five months for Tony Stark to make his first public appearance, at a UN public enquiry comittee of all things. The exiled Avengers, watching the televised hearing from their suite in T'Challa's palace, sniggered quite nastily when the man who sat at the table looked like a shadow of his former self. Certainly too thin, and moving more sedatly than he ever had before.

The chairman didn't look that hostile, though.

"Mr Stark, this committee would like to apologize for making you cut short your convalescence, but this need to be addressed soonest. I trust you are well enough to answer our questions?"

"I am."

"As you may know, The former Secretary of State Thaddeus Ross has been arrested this morning for a series of criminal charges, some in relation of the Accords. Would you like to tell us about that?"

"Oh, sooo Tony was in league with a criminal?" Clint snarked "No wonder He and Ross got like a house on fire!"

"Yes, Mr Chairman. Secretary Ross showed up in my office with sneak photos of one of my teammate children and the original version of the Accords. Either I got the Avengers to sign, or said children would be taken, and the new generation of the *super soldier* serum would be tested on them in ones of Ross facilities..."

Clint froze, and his cup of coffee shattered unheeded on the floor.

"Did you think the threat real, Mr Stark?"

"I've had enough paparazzi after me all my life to know what stolen photos look like... As for Ross going after children, he once used his own daughter to try to kidnap Dr Banner. So yes, I took it seriously."

"What did you do?"

"What I could: Ross told me I would be watched, and I know how Army equipment works, since it used to be my tech more often than not." Tony looked bitter and tired "Went two floors below and started my Lawyers on working the Accords... While trying to get the Avengers to sign those to buy a little time. The first part went perfectly well... As for the second, well, we all know about that."

"Are you against the Accords, Mr Stark?"

"No. At least not as they are now... Or going to be, since they are still in negotiations... I did sign the first version under duress, sure, because I never thought the Avengers should be *mercenaries*, especially under someone like Thaddeus Ross, who has very little respect himself for the Law or any human rights whatsoever.   
He was certainly fast to lock up anyone that showed an inkling of disagreeing with him, whether they'd done something illegal or not... On the other hand, I do agree that super powered beings should be held accountable for their actions... SHIELD was what it was, but it did give some accountability to the Avengers at the beginning. Anyway, the people should have a say on who they want on their soil... Or not."

"Will you now be signing the new Accords of your own free will, Mr Stark?"

"I will if you want me to, but in my case, the point is moot. Iron Man doesn't exist anymore."

That prompted some muttering in the on looking crowd, since the hearing was public.

"What do you mean Mr Stark?"

"What I said. My friend, the Colonel Rhodes, is paralyzed from the waist down, and I can't fly the suit anymore either. Since I don't trust anyone else with this tech, Iron Man is effectively dead."

"Coward!" a Man shouted in the back, earning a frown from the chairman. Tony's face closed up even more and talked before he could be interrupted.

"A few years ago, I told another committee that the suit was a sort of prosthetics. It was the bare truth. When I got the arc reactor out of my chest when surgery was able to get the shrapnel out of my heart, I kept going because a part of me WAS Iron Man.   
But flying the suit is not a walk in the park, not to mention fighting in it. When I came back from Siberia, it was found that my ribs had been completely shattered. I'm better, but my ribcage will never have a normal resistance again.   
Flying the suit would simply kill me. I once almost died to save the people of New York. Forgive me for not wanting to do so just so the same people can get their thrills."

There was a moment of stunned silence before the chairman coughed lightly.

"Nobody is asking you to, Mr Stark. Did sergeant Barnes attack you in that base?"

"No. I did attack him, however."

Tony looked tired and waited till the booing from the back died off;

"In my defense, I had just watched a video of the Winter soldier killing my parents, when I'd always believed they were killed in a car accident. When I learned, right after that, that Rogers had known for a couple of years but never bothered to talk to me about it, I do admit I lost my calm and shot off Barnes metallic arm. Then Captain America used the shield my father made him to crush me and left me there. End of story."

"He left you there? You're lying!" the same man hollered.

Tony didn't lose his calm, but took the microphone and faced the man "The SI rescue team Pepper Potts sent found me there about 24 hours later. The suit was depowered so I couldn't call for help, and trying to get out of it would have killed me. Why? You thought I stayed lying on my back in an abandonned HYDRA base in siberia because I wanted to work on my tan?  
I owe my life to my tech and to my CEO. Make what you want with that." He turned around "Mr chairman, if you don't have any more questions?"

"No, I think that will be all, Mr Stark. You've answered all of them and more, we can do the rest with your lawyers and the physical evidences that have been collected."

Tony left.

In Wakanda, Clint did make a very good attempt at strangling Rogers, it took all his former teammates to subdue him. Less than a week later, he turned himself in at an American Ambassy in south America. He was expelled and his trial prepared.

Tony Stark disappeared under the radar completely... Or close to. SI started churning new products like crazy: New prosthetics like the ones Colonel Rhodes obviously tested first, new tech to filter water and air, new solar panels that made the old ones look that science fair projects... Not to mention the phones, the apps... SI tech was everywhere, even more than before.

Their creator was nowhere, as far as the general public knew. Some press editors would have disagreed: It's not that Tony Stark wasn't around, but all of a sudden, he was untouchable. At first, all of them would have done just about anything to get something, ANYTHING, on the recuperating genius. Some of them did.

Those never made it to press. Tony bypassed journalists and editors alike and went for the jugular: The owners. And made the bargain clear: If they still wanted SI ad business, those were out... Otherwise...  
Nobody wanted to test the otherwise. Press was, as ever, in a precarious position, and losing SI budgets would have cut to the quick for most of them.  
As for the Internet... Well, Tony was leagues ahead of everyone else in this, and his pics never stayed up for more than two minutes.  
Paps and nerd bloggers are nothing if not a practical bunch. As soon as they saw there was no money to be made with Stark anymore, they lost interest.

 

Pepper would have at some point, been overjoyed to see this: Tony was alive, was working better than ever, took a new interest in SI. He also drank far less than he used to, and even went so far as to do something for his multiple PTSD (In true Tony fashion, he went straight to the big gun, in this case Charles Xavier). He still had occasional nightmares, but not as frequent as they used to be.

But Pepper Potts was wary. Tony had changed drastically after Afghanistan, and it had gotten worse after the New York invasion... And their break -up.  
But that was nothing compared to what had happened to him in that HYDRA base, and, to tell the truth, she may have been a bit afraid of that new Tony.

"I finally grew up, Peps. Some people would say it's about time, don't you think?" Tony answered calmly as she finally worked the courage to ask.

"Tony..."

"Peps, this side of me always existed: It's what enabled me to make my first suit in a cave. Funny how everybody forgets about that one, right? I've always hidden it behind masks because I so wanted to be loved, in spite of all my father showed me... I made myself into a lovable asshole, and I wanted to believe I had friends in the Avengers... I let my guard down far too fast with those, and I reaped the fruit of that mistake."

"I'm so sorry, Tony."

"Don't be. Lesson learned. I may not be able to do much about the assholery at this late date, but for the lovable part, I'll settle for quality instead of quantity. I have Rhodey, you... JARVIS. BTW, how FRIDAY is doing for you?"

"She's delightful... Misses her *boss* a little, I think."

"Aw, I'm sure she can come visit. You'll let her, won't you, Jarv?"

"Of course, sir."

"See?" And there was a bit of the old Tony that made her smile a little.

"Tony, I'm sorry."

"About our break up?" The genius asked gently. She nodded miserably and looked down till he came closer and raised her chin with two fingers. "Don't. Pep, I'm not going to lie and say it didn't hurt at the time, but you were honest about it. More honest than I was then. You're still one of my best friends, and a Hell of a CEO... At least I was right about that."

Now that was so Tony Pepper couldn't help laughing "We're good then?"

"Oh, Peps, we're better than good."

"Okay, then I want to ask: What are you gonna do with that bunch of back stabbing scum?" Pepper asked fiercely.

"Now there's a good question."

Rhodey, coming over the corner of the penthouse. He lived there now, since the military had discharged him and he'd taken a job at SI R&D, doing there what he'd done in the military: Making Tony's genius palatable to smaller minds.

"Is this an intervention? Jarv, are you onto this?"

"Sir, I must admit to share Miss Potts and the Colonel concern: You did push away any plans to have the former Avangers compound revamped."

"So, I'm right, this is an intervention..." The genius mused. Pepper exploded.

"Tony Stark! If you're thinking about taking back those... Those lowlifes here, so help me God, I'll... I'll..."

"Calm down Peps. I'm being practical, that's all. With the Skree and Skrulls taking little forays into Earth, there are rumbles of re-instating the Avengers... More than rumbles, to be honest. The public changed their mind again, and politicians being what they are, well..."

"And you're going to let this pass?"

"Not for them. We've been working on a new version of the Accords, now that Ross is rotting in a cell like he deserves. Something that will help the mutants too. You know Xavier's bunch are better disciplined and helpful than the Avengers ever dreamed to be, and are taking shit from all sides. That has got to stop."

"Who's that *we*, you're talking about?" Rhodey asked.

"Xavier, Reed and his family, Wayne, Doc Strange, some local heroes... Fury and Coulson."

There was a moment of silence before James asked in a droll tone: "Why am I not surprised those two aren't dead?"

"Dunno. Probably 'cause you met them?"

"That must be it."

"But the so called Avengers? After what happened? Truly?"

"Pep, as much as I would like to make an Avengers julienne served on Cap's shield, I can't. I've seen what's out there, remember? We can't afford it. On the other hand..."

"On the other hand?"

"If Rogers bunch think they're coming back to what was... As is likely, considering they've been mooching out of his Royal Kittiness lately, they're in for a surprise."

"They're in Wakanda?"

"Where else? Hopelessly bored, but under close surveillance, and more or less stuck there since Barnes is on ice again and we all know Rogers won't leave his *Bucky* for the world."

"The gall of that man!"

"Pep, did I ever told you you're lovely when you're fuming?" Tony smiled, Pepper blushed bright red, and Rhodey rolled his eyes.

"Keep on track, genius. What's the plan?"

"The plan is simple: The President will grant a presidential pardon once the new Accords are in their final stages. The Royal Kitty will push, and I'm sure he won't have to very hard, for them to take it and go back to the compound I've donated to the Avengers..."

"That's it?"

"Not really. They'll get the place, but not me. Retired, remember? Not me, not my tech, not my money or anything else."

It took a few seconds, but Pepper started laughing "Oh, Tony, that's devious!"

"What's devious? Tones, what..."

"Rogers and Co have always been protected: The military, SHIELD... And then me for some, HYDRA for Wanda and Barnes. None of them never had to fend for themselves and face the consequences of their actions as any normal citizen would. So they get there... And the lawsuits should start raining soon.   
Pym's firm lawyers have dreams to get their hands on Lang, Wilson will have some 'splaining to do with the military... Wanda's case is even worse, and Xavier is prepared to have the girl's powers bound if she starts loosing her head again."

"He can?"

"Vision will help him if needs be..."

"And Rogers?"

"Rogers will have to deal with all of that... AND the UN and Germans. No Army or nice shady organisation to whisk him away, no nice billionaire to foot the bill this time, or to provide him with lawyers."

"He's going to blow a gasket."

"Most probably. He'll probably be desperate enough to sign whatever we put in front of him this time around. But that is going to be Fury, and most of all, Coulson's job. I won't see that man again if I can help it."

"And the two spies?"

"Barton is retired. He'll stay that way. It's up to Laura if she wants him back or not, none of my business."

"Romanov?"

"Well, she'll probably emerge from the hole she's crawled in so far at some point. Fury says she can be of use, still... He's welcome to her if she turns up, but she's not going to like it if she tries this here or on any of my properties." That was very final. "In fact, none of them are welcome there, or even at SI. If they try, JARVIS and FRIDAY have their instructions. Nothing lethal, but probably very humiliating."

"It will be my pleasure, Sir." The AI stated in what could only be called revengeful tones.

Pepper nodded and stood up "All right. I have to prepare for the next board meeting. You'll be there, right?"

"I will."

"Good. I'll see you there, then. Take care."


	2. Truths, serum and Fury.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper left, so the boys will have a heart to heart...

Rhodes waited till the sounds of her heels faded completely before turning on his friend. "Are you going to tell her?"

Tony didn't pretend ignorance "When did you connect the dots?"

"Just now, when you mentioned Fury. Come clean, Tones. How bad was it?"

"Bad. Rogers missed killing me by an hair's breath, and the next twenty two hours in Siberian weather didn't do me any favors... Frostbite. Then I woke up in the Hospital and nearly thought I'd gone straight to Hell when I saw that my bedside vigil was Nick, off all people."

Rhodes laughed "I'm sure you did!"

"Yeah, the one eyed pirate has that effect on people. Turn out Cho had called him, as the cradle wouldn't have been enough to pull through, considering my previous state."

"What did?"

"The version of Eskrine serum first HYDRA used to make the winter soldier, who was in turn leaked to the red room to make the widows, and then finally to SHIELD to be used on key personnel..."

"It's been around all this time? Then Bruce...?"

"It's a bastardized version of Eskrine work, not the full Monty that the Army, and Ross, have been dreaming about. No super strength or anything of the sort. Only better recuperating powers than average, slower aging... Stuff like that..."

"So, how old should I expect to live? Oh, c'mon, Tones. I know have been up and walking much faster than I should. Army guy, remember? I've known my share of vets that didn't make it as fast as I did, no matter how awesome your tech is... And it is. So?"

"You and I are big question marks. Fury got his own shot long after his eye was gone, and it never repaired. Coulson healed faster from his injuries than normal, but I was also led to believe those weren't as life threatening as we were initially told. You and I? Well, as you said, it works. From what Helen says, I should be able to get rid of this thing..." 

Tony gestured to his chest, where his shirt hid the skin colored vest, almost a corset, that Tony now wore to provide his ribcage some much needed support "... In a few months or a year... Maybe. Still, nobody thinks it can repair the damage by the arc reactor and such. Too old, too many nerves injuries... Which is close to what you got."

"Nerve injuries?"

"Yeah. Nobody knows either if the initial healing pull on the serum will have an effects on it's other properties. That's why I haven't told Pepper: Don't wanna get her hopes up to crash them a little while later. If it looks stable in a few months, I'll come clean with her."

"You want her to get it too, right?"

"If she wants, yeah... And in Pepper case, there's extremis to be considered."

"I thought you removed it?"

"I did. But no one can be really sure about what it did on the epigenetic level. Cho is working on it. Other questions?"

"One, but it's a doozy: Why did the old pirate offered that to you, of all people?"

Tony laughed "Shocker, right? Well, trust old Nick, dead as he was supposed to be, to know ALL what had gone down during that Accords SNAFU. In his words, I was now ready to see the World as it fucking was, and not as I motherfucking wanted it to be, and if I wanted to truly join the fucking big players, now was the time to do so."

"Sounds like Him, all right. I guess you said yes, but why me?"

"Because you're my friend, and Rogers isn't the only one that can stand up for his own!" Tony snapped before calming down "Besides, I knew the Army, that bunch of idiots, would *let you go* the second they learned you couldn't operate the suit anymore... So I would finally be able to recruit you to SI."

"Uh?"

"Don't be an idiot Honeybunch. I wanted you in SI for years, but I knew you'd rather stay in the Army, so I didn't push it."

"But WHY, Tones?"

"Rhodey, I'm no good with most people, we both know it. Not the best personality, thanks to dear old dad, and too smart, too fast for my own good. People, even the bright ones, resent me for it. I don't know how to be otherwise and I've given up on changing people. I NEED the very rare ones that can relate to me as I am to run interference between me and others. Pepper does it with SI Board of directors, and you do it with other scientists... Even my own R&D department. Look at how well things have been going since you joined in..."

"Tony, you're a good man."

"No I'm not. At least not in the way people are going to accept it. I tried, and look what it got me..."

"If this is about Rogers assholery..." Rhodey started.

"And Barton, and Romanov, and even Bruce... Not to mention the others I barely knew, so they at least have that excuse. But those four? I let them into my home, cleaned their messes after them, not that they thanked me for it, or even noticed, but the minute something goes wrong, they're either all over me like I am the scum of the Earth, or stabbing me in the back without a second thought. You know, not a single one of them asked about what happened after the Killian episode. With my house being blown up on every News reel, it's not as they could have missed it."

"You're awfully calm about this, you know?"

"Xavier's work. I finally owned up to the fact that I needed my head checked... I was barely functional before it even started, and after, every time I closed my eyes, it was to see my parents murder or relive Rogers hacking me to pieces with the shield said father made him. I had soo little sleep I was hallucinating. So, since I had to have someone picking my brain, I thought I might as well go to the man who could literally do it. Especially since I needed the memories, but not the emotional storms that went with them."

"And how did that go?"

"Uneasily. I don't think anyone other than Charles would have pulled it through. He installed... Firewalls, I guess you could call them. I still have the data, but I can look at it remotely. Like if it happened to someone else. Downside of this is I can objectively see how much of an idiot I've been..."

"ULTRON?"

"ULTRON was a bad idea fuelled by fear, never-ending nightmares and panic attacks. Which someone should maybe have paid attention to, since, you know, roommates?"

James winced a bit. He'd done his share of rescuing Tony from his self destructing tendencies while they were at MIT. It's not as if Tony was discreet about those. The difficult part was not to see, it was to stop him once he'd engaged the self destruct.  
Apparently the Avengers hadn't bothered to notice till it inconvenienced them. Rhodey kicked himself mentally to have felt it was safe to leave Tony alone once the Avengers had taken residence, thinking he was taken care of. Obviously not.

"...Besides, I would like it on record I HAD decided to scrap it."

"Uh? You had? What the fuck happened?"

"I never got time. Thor had to play with that damm Hammer of his, indoor no less. From what I could find out, it's the electrical surge in the building that activated ULTRON. Not that I really hold it against Thor. He just can't help playing with the thing, he's like a toddler with his fav pacifier."

"Right. Nice baby..." then he frowned "Do the others know that?"

"Never came up. Bruce ran off, and I stayed, so the others had their convenient scapegoat."

"Not that it prevented them eating your food and sleeping in your house, right? Tony, sometimes you're a glutton for punishment... Wait. Is that why you didn't bring JARVIS back? To punish yourself?"

The silence was answer enough.

"Tones, you're harder on yourself than anyone... Please stop that or I'll sic my mother on you!"

"Oh, I plan to."

"Good. Keep that up. Now time to get back to that new job I'm apparently soo good at."

"See ya, Rhodeybuns!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Tony was badly hurt... Slamming the Shield into a ribcage that has had a number of very invasive operations is bound to do massive wreckage...


	3. Me, bitter? Nah...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're taking a dip into Tony's head... It's not an entirely confortable place to be...

Once alone, Tony sighs, closes his eyes and relax on the couch. He's not getting another drink, he only has to think about Rogers shitty letter and that's incentive enough to stay sober. Captain fucking America destroyed Tony's life even before he was born, Tony was going to take great pleasure in returning the favor.

Oh, he wasn't going to kill him. No siree, that would be too kind. And in a practical viewpoint, they needed the super idiot Rogers... But by the time he would be finished, Captain America, the media darling that could do no wrong, would be toast. SHIELD would be welcome to what was left.

Charles had told him that putting those emotional dampers could have slightly sociopathic after effects and to watch for them. Well, as long as those were limited to some people, Tony found out he didn't mind that much. He cared about the world, he cared about his friends... He even cared about perfect strangers. The so-called Avengers where a completely different kettle of fish.  
And he was careful about it. He kept everything in his own mind, and he'd trained it to be protected, with Vision's help. No way that HYDRA trained assassin was mind raping him again.

The thing that people always tended to forget about him was how ruthless he could be, when he deemed it worthy.

The Ten Rings had gone up in flames, Killian ditto, Thaddeus Ross was now enjoying the hospitality of the prison he'd build, slowly going crazy... Crazier? No matter, the man was now ranting in his cell, saying things he certainly wouldn't if he'd been sane. Fury was having a field day picking up his minions like flowers in a park. Tony could swear he'd never seen the old spy looking that cheerful before. Well, Tony himself wasn't really in a position to judge on what made the old Pirate happy... Even if it was locking people up.

Barton was a done deal. Tony privately hoped Laura wouldn't get him back, she was an intelligent woman... Well, either she would be able to slap some sense in the Archer... Or not. But if Barton came out of retirement again, it was back to a cell without parole, so, that was that.

Romanov was trickier. Fury wanted the slimy double crossing female back, God knows why. Tony had obliged, on condition he would never have to see her again. He supposed she would try anyway, so he'd made plans for it to be only once. Or to be more honest, JARVIS had plans. Tony had not inquired. He could always use a good laugh.

Bruce... He had a few bones to pick with his former science bro. He could understand Brucie's need to run away, and it had been his MO anyway for years... Tony would see what he had to say if he ever showed up again.

The two Rogers groupies, Lang and Wilson? Well, Wilson would have some very fast talking to do with some Army high ranking officers about a long list of charges. Likely to be in the compound and straight out an hour later, with MP nannies. Lang he was leaving at the mercy of Hank Pym, and as a Stark, Tony was well placed to know how vindictive the old man could be... Especially concerning his tech (Tony could relate). Both men would be far too busy to bemoan a conspiracy engineered by him... Actually, Tony would pay good money to see Hank's, or Air Force General Abbot's faces if either men hinted that they were acting on his orders. The smack down was bound to be epic!

Maximoff was the most dangerous, but she wouldn't stay long at the Avengers either. Xavier was going to evaluate her and make the decision if she was redeemable or not. Tony had enough residual guilt about Stane's actions not to actively want to ruin her life. If Charles got some sense in her head, great. If not...Xavier was a good man, but with a very practical side. Her powers having being fostered by HYDRA, that meant they could be cut off. Xavier already had one crazed, hell bent on revenge mutant on his hands, he wasn't going to let another roam free.

Which left the winter soldier and his chum Rogers...

Intellectually, Tony knew Barnes had been dealt a shitty hand. After his initial, and very human thankyouverymuch, burst of rage, Tony didn't want to kill him. Wasn't going to help him either, Tony never pretended to be a saint... In all fairness, he knew that two super soldiers were better than one. An Asset, as Hydra had dubbed the man. True. But when a face figured preeminently in one's nightmares and panic attack triggers, it was also hard to envision oneself working with the owner of that face, no matter how brainwashed the man had been. Tony supposed T'Challa and Xavier could, and would, probably find a way out of his conditioning, but that didn't mean he could be part of it.

Now Rogers... Rogers was the cherry on the shitty cake, and Tony was going to take great pleasure in raking the sanctimonious asshole through the coals.

It had been the price of the bride with Fury, not that the one eyed bastard had fought that hard on it once he realized Tony wasn't after blood. To be honest, Nick had mostly agreed that Rogers had been WAY out of line and needed to be brought down, at least a peg or two. The man believed in his own legend and was so certain he could do no wrong he'd become a liability.  
So Fury and Coulson would get Rogers, but the Captain America spiel was going to be torn to shreds. His so-called purity, honesty, selflessness... Tactical genius... Tony snorted quietly.

Tactical genius his ass. Rogers was an advocate of the *punch anything that moves* school, which was great for him, but was always likely to end up in disasters for the more fragile members of the Team... Or civilians around. Rogers had tunnel vision in more ways than one.

Tony laughed softly when he recalled Nick's face when he'd whipped out that letter. He'd never seen the old spy face being so appalled before, and God knows he'd tried his best.

"And you don't want to kill him? I would." Fury admitted after reading it.

"I did...Spur of the moment thing. But a super soldier could be useful, you know that, Nick... As long as it is a super SOLDIER, if you take my meaning. If push comes to shove, we won't have time to carter to Cap America's ego. Better deal with it now and not have to in a middle of another clusterfuck, don't you think?"

The old spy hadn't answered that, but looked at Tony for a few minutes in silence before nodding.

Couple of days later, he was invited to take a seat at the New World Security Council, and almost laughed his head off when he saw Nick's evaluation on him: *Tony Stark: Yes. Iron Man: No.*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, Tony has plans for the future... And his ex pals, indeed!  
> We will see in the next chapter how those turn out...


	4. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rogers and his little band are coming Home... The reception may not be quite as they expect, though... *Evil chuckle*

Steve looked at the faces surrounding him and smiled a bit as he watched the cryo unit being loaded in the quinjet. Everybody was happy and excited to go home. It had been hard, and taken some time, but everything was gonna be all right finally: They were coming back, Stark would apologize, Steve would forgive on provisio to behave, and it would be fine.

"Stark better have some *sweeeeet* apologies for this mess." Scott muttered.

"I'm sure he will, Scott. After all, the Accords are revoked, so he must have realised he was in the wrong." Steve answered. As he talked, he saw T'Challa minuscule change of expression. Did the King knew something he didn't? Steve scoffed at his own internal doubts. Captain America was coming home!

They landed some hours later at the compound, and frowned a bit just a Sam noted "Uh? doesn't this place look a bit run down?"

It did. The repairs from the fight had been done, as far as Steve could tell, but the building didn't have that *clean cut* feel. Cap remembered when Stark had brought them here for the first time, so proud of his newest creation for the Avengers.

Now? It looked a bit... Unfinished... And empty. Steve told himself he didn't want, or need, the cheering crowd and the streamers, but still. His train of thought was interrupted when a car stopped between them and the entrance... and left just as abruptly, leaving...

"Clint!"

The Archer jumped a bit, and turned around, blinking, and then smiling as his teammates surrounded him.

"Man, you look like shit!" Sam half joked.

"What's going on?" The Archer asked "I've been in a cell for the past weeks, and this morning, they ousted me, got me in a car, drove for hours... And, well..."

"Presidential pardon, Hawkeye! We're back!" Scott crowed, as Clint looked incredulous, then startled as a voice he thought he would never hear again sounded.

"I hate to interrupt this touching reunion, but some of us have other things to do today." Fury raised a somewhat sarcastic eyebrow, and added "And before you ask, yes, rumors of my demise may have been premature. Thank you for caring. Now get your collective asses over there, we got to talk."

They followed him inside to a conference room with a table half filled with men in suits, others in uniforms... And one Pepper Potts, busy with her Starkpad. Also another back from the dead as in one Phil Coulson, who sat close to Pepper at the head of the table.  
He took the floor in his usual, calm manner.

"Please sit. We would like to explain to you some things you need to know. Considering the actual events, the former Avengers have been granted a Presidential pardon, a waiver from criminal pursuit for their past action during the latest...Events. Miss Potts?"

Pepper rose, looking sternly at the former Team. "Mr Stark granted full ownership of the compound, and it's contents, to the entity named *Avengers*. It took the liberty to assign one of our junior lawyers, Mr Grader, to you to draw the draft and sign it." A young man in a conservative suit nodded toward the team, and they nodded back.

"Mr Stark very generously payed for the transfer of ownership, and the utilities for the next three months. Afterwards, you're on your own."

"So it's Stark being petty, then." Clint sneered. Pepper threw him a look that, if she still had extremis, would have roasted the man on the spot.  
"I think it was very generous of Mr Stark to do this much for people who tried to KILL him... And near succeeded." She raised her voice slightly over the protests "He did it over my own advice, but then, Tony is generous to a fault. However, I do remind you that Tony Stark is retired from the Avengers. Your own actions made sure of that. Due to this, Mr Stark, nor Stark Industries, is under any obligation to fund and support your little group as he did in the past. Furthermore, ALL of you who have ever threatened, planned, or actively tried to kill or maim Mr Stark are banned from ALL Stark AND SI properties. Mr Grader will leave you a list of those and their locations, with the affiliated restraining orders." With that, she stood up.

"Wait! Where's Stark?"

"Mr Barton, I do know very well that you have problems with the concept of retirement. Look it up. Mr Stark and his company have better things to do with their time than to associate with barely pardoned criminals. Now, if you'll excuse me, Agent Coulson, I have some meetings to attend to."

"Of course, Miss Potts." Said the ever courteous Phil. Pepper swept another disdainfull glance to the bunch of ratty individuals and left.

Sam felt Wanda shiver and leaned to her "What?"

"She hates us. She hates us and she's happy we're here."

"Uh?" that didn't make sense.

"Staff sergeant Wilson!" One man in Uniform barked. Colonel in Air Force, by his bars. Sam sat at attention without thinking.

"Yes sir."

"You are to be accompanied by these gentlemen" The unamed Colonel gestured at two burly and no nonsense looking Mps in the room "To a military hearing presided by General Abbot. Effective immediatly." The two Mps moved in his direction.

"But... The pardon?"

"The President waived criminal pursuit. You, Mr Wilson, actually deserted, stole Military equipment and engaged it in combat over allies territory... Amongst other things. By your actions, you involved the US Air Force in unsanctionned military action. Since you are still Air Force, you have to answer for it, and probably face a dishonorable discharge."

"Wait! You can't..." Steve said. The colonel stood up and looked down his nose at him.

"Mr Rogers, If you ever were a member of the US forces, you should know that actions like the ones taken by Srgt Wilson have consequenses. Since no one could find a trace of you in our archives, I guess you don't."

Steve was stunned "Bucky...?"

Another Colonel, from the Marines this time, answered: "Srgt Barnes was, and is, a member of our forces. Whatever happened to him after being captured by the ennemy... Or shall I say due to the horrible treatment he received there, does not have adverse effect on his military records. In fact, if you had come to us, Mr Rogers, we would have helped."

"General Ross didn't think so."

"Point taken, Mr Rogers. But Thadeus Ross wasn't the only General in the Army. I would have thought, you, of all people, would have known that. Luckily for you, Mr Stark did."

"Stark again." Clint snorted. The Colonel wasn't impressed and turned to Coulson.

"Director, control your *retired* assassin."

"Colonel... Barton, shut up or you will be gagged." It was said evenly and was just the more terrifying for it. Clint gaped, for once at loss for words. Both Army men nodded and then followed Sam as he was frog marched out by the two MPs, who didn't wore the faces of men who are going to take *no* for an answer. As soon as the door closed, one of the remaining men in dark suits cleared his throat.

"Mr Lang. Me and my associates are representative from the Pym corporation. I must inform you that your gear has been searched and Pym tech found there has been retrieved to be returned to it's rightful owner."

"But you can't take the suit?!" Steve couldn't believe his ears. What where those people thinking?

"We can. It wasn't Mr Lang's property in the first place. Now, Mr Lang, Mr Pym, after a few conversations with his daughter, and in consideration for your wife and child, decided NOT to pursue you for the theft of his Tech... However, and as you should expect, you're fired from Pym's Corporation... And all it's affiliates."

Steve eyes narrowed in suspicion "Corporation? Stark went through his business connections to..."

He was interrupted by laughter from the joined bench of Pym's and Stark lawyers, till the senior partner calmed down.

"Mr Rogers, you missed your calling as comedian. I would suggest for you NOT to repeat within Mr Pym's hearing, if you ever met him, that Dr Hank Pym would EVER do ANYTHING on the demands of a Stark. Trust me, you wouldn't like the results... Now, I guess we've fullfilled our mandate here and I have other business to attend to. Directors, if you don't mind?"

"And I'll be waiting for you in your office with that draft, Director Coulson." The Stark lawyer added.

"Of course. Have a nice day, gentlemen."

Steve waited till all had filed out to turn on Coulson. He was not alone, as all the remaining Avengers exploded in protests. Coulson let it slide of his back like they were talking about the weather.  
Till one hand banged the table with enough force to startle all.

"Allright! Now that you all have had your little temper tantrum, I have things to say, and you're fucking gonna LISTEN to it!" Fury took a seat and regarded what was left of his old team, and the few extras, with a more than usual unimpressed air.  
"You don't seem to be aware of it, but you sorry lot PISSED a lot of important people... Not to mention about 140 countries from the get go. 173 to this day. It's not the first time, but SHIELD, or Stark, often both, managed to smooth over your screw ups earlier. Shield is now back to being a handfull of trustworthy people. All for the better, but we CAN'T protect you as we could have earlier. Stark won't, and I can't say I can blame him. Shut up Rogers I haven't finished speaking. You idiots have no idea how much of his money and influence Stark spent to protect you lot, do you? The bill goes up to a couple hundred MILLIONS, just so you know..."

"And what about Stark's own screw ups?" Clint sneered.

"Barton, considering Stark risked his own neck, quite litterally, to protect your wife and children from being Ross lastest guinea pigs, I suggest you put a lid on it. You came out of retirement half cocked into a situation you knew nothing about and made things worse for everybody. You're lucky Phil here and his Team, contrary to you, took Stark call seriously and extracted your family: Less than an hour later, Ross men swamped the farm. So can it."

Clint blanched, but Fury was already on someone else.

"As for the ULTRON project, let's put the blame where it belongs... Something you would like to say, Miss Maximoff? No? I guess I'll say it in your stead, then. You mind raped Stark to push him deliberatly on the worst course of action possible, to destroy him and the Avengers. The fact that you changed your mind once your little project was up and running amok doesn't exonerate you of that."

"Stark made ULTRON, not her!"

"If I may, Director Fury?" Those precise English tones could only mean...

"JARVIS?"

"Indeed, Mr Rogers."

"Another thing Stark lied about, I see."

"Sir did not lie: I was destroyed as a live AI when ULTRON activated. However, as an AI and a sentient being, I do have a survival instinct, and kept the latest version of my programing onto a remote server, just in case.  
When I felt I was corrupted, I stocked my last clear memory feed on another server. This I can say: Sir did indeed build a framework for the ULTRON program,with Dr Banner, I may add. However, as time passed and Sir recovered from his mind rape, the project grew to a halt. It was not finished and should not have been able to activate on it's own. This was a series of unfortunate events.  
Mr Odinson caused a surge of power with his hammer, which in turn powered the mind gem enough for it to take control, and, I sumrise, latch on the unfinished program and complete it with HYDRA files. I do find it very distasteful that you put the blame so firmly on Sir's shoulders and let Miss Maximoff and Mr Odison go scott free on the subject."

"It was the logical conclusion..." Steve mumbled. JARVIS was having none of it, however.

"Did you ask? And if you did, did you listen to the answer? Or were you looking for a scapegoat to push the blame onto? Sir Tech always served you well for years... As I did. For you to immediatly come to the conclusion that Sir deliberatly made something to destroy humanity as a whole was far fetched, to say the least."

"He killed my parents!" Wanda screamed in rage.

"He did NOT." The AI's voice was very final. Fury took over as red flares began to crawl her hands.

"Miss Maximoff, control yourself or you will be controlled. I'm not joking. You want closure? I'll give you closure. The missile that killed your parents was sold to a branch of Sokovian *freedom fighters*..." The sarcasm was heavy there "... by Obadiah Stane, totally off the record. Neither Stark or SI as a company had anything to do with it."

"He still made them." Wanda was mulish.

"And if your parents had been killed in a car crash caused by a stolen... Mercedes, you'd have gone after the engineer that designed the car?" Coulson asked "I respect your grief, but you aimed it at the wrong person."

"It's not the same."

"It's exactly the same and deep down, you know it. Besides, Stark stopped making weapons as soon as that came to light, having dealt with Stane himself. Something everyone knew, including in Sokovia."

Wanda opened her mouth, but another bang on the table stopped her.

"Enough. Contrary to what you seem to think, you have nowhere to stand on moral highground. Do you want to know what I see when I look at you? Someone who VOLUNTEERED for HYDRA experimentations, someone who KILLED for them without remorse.  
You got away with it and got a second chance. I suggest you take it and stop pushing the blame on someone who was only remotely connected to what happened to you just because he is a public figure. Think about it, because I don't do third chances."

"She's just a kid!"

"No she's not, Rogers. She's only a couple of years younger than your biological age, and has been a trained killer for at least two years before you met. Those are not the actions of a child." Fury pinned Steve on his chair with a look "Now, Rogers, you seem under a few delusions yourself: Lemme clear that for you. You're not Captain America anymore. First, you can kiss that shield goodbye."

"What?"

"You forgoed any right to it when you left it with a nearly mortally wounded Stark in Siberia. Since Howard had only loaned it to the military, it's also legally an SI property. You can try to have Potts lend it back to you, but I don't see that going too well, do you?  
Second, you seem under the impression that people are happy to see you back and that you *won*. You're wrong on both counts. The American public, in part, may still have a soft spot for you, but that is not the case for most of the rest of the world. Surprise."

"But I did what was right!"

"Are you truly that dumb, Rogers? What you did was telling 140 countries to take a piss and that Captain America knew best... Do you truly think that kind of 'tude endears you to people?"

"Corrupt polititians, the lot of them. They don't count."

"Well, I'd LOVE to see T'challa's reaction when you tell him his deceased father was a corrupt politician. That little gem should go down well." Fury snarked, enjoying the confusion on the super soldier face.  
"Honestly, Rogers, you've been out of the ice for awhile now... You should know the U.S are not universally loved. That flag is being randomly burned in all parts of the world, and by *people*, Rogers, NOT politicians. And the U.S don't need a man wearing their colors running amok in the World at large, destroying things and killing people. It doesn't help our case. The Accords Ross pushed for were a piece of shit in more ways than one, true. But they could have been far more easely amended if you hadn't felt it was the time for a temper tantrum."

"I did what I thought was right... Sir."

"And in doing so, all what you've achieved to do was proove the necessity of you to be controlled in one way or another. You've only made our work harder, congrats.  
You don't seem to get it, Rogers: 140 SOVEREIGN nations were afraid of you, now 173 are pissed at you. You've made life for all superhumans and mutants out there MORE difficult, not less, and most of them are not too happy with you either.  
And just in case you cared, it falls on to me and Coulson here to repair the damage you caused and keep you under control while we try to navigate that clusterfuck. So I'm pissed at you too. Now Phil is going to explain to you how shit will go down for you and your little bunch of vigilantes. I strongly suggest you listen to him, because right now, the world is both afraid and angry: Put one foot wrong, and you'll start a witch hunt like you've never seen the like before... And I'll be leading the chase for your head. Capisce?"

Fury didn't exactly wait for an answer. He nods to Coulson, and leaves.

Phil calmy looks on and folds his hands on the table.

"Right. Clint, some Shield agents are going to take you to Laura and your kids. Whatever happens next is between the two of you. But if you break your retirement again, you will go to prison, no parole. Now leave."

"But..."

"What will happen next is Avengers business. You're not an Avenger anymore, never will be one again. Dismissed. Follow these agents please."

Stunned, half blinded by tears, the Archer stumbled out, not even saying goodbye.

"Miss Maximoff, Dr Charles Xavier will come to the compound to evaluate you, your powers, and submit his following reports to Shield and the UN."

"And if I don't want that?"

"You don't have a choice. Do I need to remind you that you are NOT a US citizen? And Sokovia is currently revoking your passport. The only thing protecting you is your Avenger status. If you try to escape, or atempt to use your powers out of line, you WILL be caught, and those powers rescinded. This is not open for debate...  
Mr Lang, you're not an Avenger and can't be one without the suit, but we can always use a good engineer, especially since we won't have Stark anymore."

"Okay, I guess. Can I see Cassie?" The man asked hopefully.

"You can contact your wife, of course." Scott looked relieved.

"Now, Mr Rogers. Your involvement in the latest crisis is still under the UN and the public scrutiny. Mr Stark refrained on any public comment about what happened in Siberia, be thankful for that if for nothing else. However Zemo's trial is still going on, and the man is certainly intent on doing as much damage as possible. We can expect BOTH videos to surface at one time or another, courtesy of HYDRA if nothing else..."

"You... What... But..."

"Mr Rogers, you had your fight in an Hydra base where they stored Cryo Soldiers. Did you truly think the place wasn't monitored in one way or another? Shield found those data when they combed the place, but I'm not such an optimist that I do believe Hydra haven't gotten their paws on it too.  
So, expect those to come out in a media shitstorm sooner or later. As Director Fury told you, a lot of people are angry. The U.S Army combed their archives to revoke your Captain rank. In doing so, it became clear it was never awarded to you in over form than a PR spin. You're not a member of the Army and considered a somewhat ordinary US citizen.  
As such, be aware you can be sued for your actions. I better warn you that it will probably be the case anyway. The German government is livid about the damages you brought to their airport, and their policemen and soldiers. You can ALSO expect some private citizens whose home you wrecked or/and lost some loved ones to come after you too.  
Now, some other superhumans and mutants have agreed to join the Avengers. You will NOT be leading this team in anyway whatsoever."

"Who will?"

"I will."

"You?" Rogers face was kind of priceless, Phil briefly thought.

"I outranked you when you where still a Captain, now I'm light years ahead of you. Besides, contrary to you, I know how to lead and care for a team, and ALL it's members.  
One of my biggest regret concerning the Avengers is that I let myself being pushed aside, mostly because I believed in your legend... Not anymore, Rogers. You WILL learn a semblance of humility, and to OBEY orders. Trust me, you will need that, because when those videos come out, you will learn how cruel the American public can be when one of their idols topple from their pedestal.  
Now, your rooms have been left untouched, so you can retire. Oh, and one last thing: You will no doubt find out that the ground are patrolled on the borders by SHIELD agents. It's for your own protection, so try not to brain any of them, please.  
Dismissed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it starts... I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!


	5. Princess dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, short chapter this time: We're taking a stroll into Steve's head, and really, I couldn't make it longer. It was detrimental to my blood pressure.  
> Okay, people, take a deep breath...

Steve went to his room on autopilot and crashed on his bed. Less than two hours and his Team was reduced to nothing or close to it.  
He'd been prepared to fight Stark's stubborness and Steve could concede leaving the man on his own in Siberia had been a dick move on his part, but tempers had flown high at the time... And he'd had Bucky's safety to consider.

But he hadn't foreseen that other people would fall for Stark's spiel, just like that. Steve face took on a mulish expression, that, if Barnes had been here to witness it, he could have told was not good news.

Steve went over the events in his head. Learning that Stark had been blackmailed by Ross with Clint's children lives sure explained a lot of things, but then, why didn't he come clean to Steve? He was the Team Leader, after all... So, okay, after the ULTRON debacle, the Avengers hadn't exactly been chummy with the genius, but Steve would have listened...

*would you?* A nagging little voice in his brain insisted, sounding disturbingly like the genius. Steve snorted at the ceiling: of course he would have!

*Like you listened after ULTRON, right?*

Err... He winced a bit has he recalled how Stark had been shunned in his own home by everyone. But the man had been a liability, and it's not as if Steve could be expected to understand what he was talking about with that *interface* thing, now could he? Not with Bruce gone, anyway.

No, Tony should have known better than to oppose Captain America when he was taking a stand. After all, all the man had to do was acknowledge Bucky had been a victim in all this... It's not as if his parents had died yesterday, after all. He COULD have helped, but chose not to, deciding to cram Ross Accords down their collective throats instead... As if the Avengers needed a leash when they were doing what was best for everybody, even when the people were too stupid or corrupt to see it was for their own good.

It was a bit of a let down to come back now and find that, with Ross neutralized, people were still unreasonable on that front.

Well, it's not as if it would last, and Steve could be patient when he needed to be. After all, it had only taken a few months before the Avengers had been recalled to the States, where they belonged. Steve would see and greet whatever new talents that would come on board, and even go with Agent Coulson's delusion that he could lead a Team better than Captain America for awhile. That ridiculous idea was bound to go tits up anyway, and Steve would be here to take charge when the need would arise, as it would, no doubt.

Of course, it may need a little more time to erode Stark's stubborness, but the man wasn't stupid: Once he saw others falling in line behind Steve, he would come round and rejoin the Team... Well, maybe not as he was before, since he apparently couldn't get in the suit anymore...

But Steve could be generous. Once Stark saw the light (and returned the Shield, Potts had nothing to say about that), he would allow Stark back as a non combatant. He would even personnaly handpick someone trustworthy to pilot Iron Man. It's not as if just anybody couldn't do that anyway, with the tech doing all the work. And the genius would be better suited to his workshop anyway, inventing new stuff for the Avengers... Under close supervision of course, nobody wanted a repetition of ULTRON.

Yes, Stark would be glad to be welcomed back by his friends and forgiven. Steve would make sure everyone played nice, and everything would be back as it was before. Better, really, since everyone would know their place.

And once Bucky's mind control problem was solved, Steve would have the most FANTASTIC second in command. He would have to get Stark to work on that first thing. Yes, things were going to be just FINE.

Steve fell asleep with a smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all okay? Need something to tide you over? Chocolate? Cookies? Cup of tea? Maybe something stronger?  
> I apologize for the bone headed idiot (mostly because he won't) and I promise the next chapter is both longer and from a much nicer person POV... I may even update later today if you tell me it's too painful.


	6. The morning after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is still an ass, Phil Coulson is BAMF (of course), and then reflects on his life choices...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are AWESOME! All the kudos to you, that's such a warm welcome!  
> And your fabulous comments have the muse excited like a caffeinated two year old... Or a kitten with his first catnip!
> 
> You're so great I couldn't leave you in pain like that for another day, so here you are: A Sunday special extra chapter.  
> Enjoy!

The smile lasted till he got to the kitchen the next morning and wanted to prepare breakfast. Unfortunately, all that was in the cupboard was a collection of canned goods.

"FRIDAY, did you forget to buy groceries?"

No answer.

"FRIDAY?"

In a flash, Steve went up to Stark's former office, where, as he expected, he could see Coulson reviewing paperwork. He came in without knocking, earning a raised brow. 

"What can I do for you Mr Rogers?"

"It's an emergency! FRIDAY has been hacked and doesn't answer!"

"What is bringing this on?"

"I wanted some groceries... The kitchen hasn't been stocked. FRIDAY takes care of that, right?" The bemused Agent face was a bit stupid, Steve privately thought.

"I suppose she DID, yes. Not Anymore."

"Uh?"

"Mr Rogers, when will it get through your thick skull that Tony Stark resigned from the Avengers? In ANY capacity?"

"I don't see..."

"Yes, that is obvious. Did you really think that Mr Stark would leave one of his AIs in any way or form near this place? FRIDAY has been removed from here and has been integrated to SI for months, now. If you want groceries, you will have to make a list and one Shield agent will go shopping... Within our budget, of course."

"But FRIDAY belonged to the Avengers!"

"Mr Rogers, you will have to stop considering Stark property as your own from now on. If anything, FRIDAY belongs to Tony Stark.   
Besides, you forget something: FRIDAY was the one who alerted SI to the suit going offline and where, after you abandoned her creator in Siberia. You are NOT amongst the AI preferred people after what you did to her *boss*, Mr Rogers, and I would have thought you intelligent enough to not risk living with an hostile AI in the premises... Will that be all?"

Phil Coulson watched his former youth idol marching back in the corridor, offended pride all over his stance, and felt the beginning of a headache coming on. He would have to ask Xavier to take a dip in the man's brain and tell him how far the man's delusion went. It was a common trope that one should never meet ones heroes, and, my, if it hadn't been proved right this time.

When Fury had come to him to solve that mess, the two men had butted heads. Hard. Then Fury had unloaded his two videos bombshell, and left him with them for a few days, which had been wise since Phil needed to get over his anger and disappointment.  
Coulson knew about Stark new status into the chain of command, and Nick had told him about the price of the bride.

"Destroy Captain America? He can't be serious?!"

"Trust me, he is. At least he's not baying for blood... I would." Nick admitted, looking more tired than Phil had seen him in awhile "Fact is, he's not wrong..."

"What do you mean?"

"You know we've always kept a close eye on Stark, for when he would go to the deep end? We've never done that with Rogers... Not till recently, that is."

"What are you not telling me, Nick?"

"I went to see Stark. Prepared to read him the riot act and everything. He's changed, Phil. Harder, certainly colder... Guess his Siberian siesta was an eye opener for him. He didn't get riled when I started pushing his usual buttons. In fact, I could swear it amused him. You know what always bothered me about that boy? That despite Howard, Stane, and the press doing all they could, he was still ready to trust people too much."

"Trust? Stark?"

"Maybe not intellectually, but he was always vulnerable emotionally, no matter how many times it bit him on the ass later on. Not any more. It took the Avengers to do it, maybe in the worst possible way, but Anthony Edward Stark finally grew up."

"And how much of that is your own damn fault, Nick? You know that fucking psych evaluation was way off base, right? Doesn't play well with others my ass..."

"Okay, I thought his pride would lead him to shape up, wrong call, I know."

"Do you? You gave that file to Clint, Natasha... Rogers. Ever wondered why of all of them, Stark was closer with Banner? The only one you hadn't showed that little gem to and met him without preconceptions?"

"Okay, I fucked up, is that what you want to hear? We've always been too hard on Stark... Turns out we might have not been hard enough on Rogers."

"What do you mean?"

"Stark made a few points in our conversation... And showed me Rogers letter."

"What letter?"

"Rogers send it to him after Siberia, with a burn phone. Here."

Phil had taken Nick's pad and read the patronizing thing twice... Then a third time for good measure.

"Deeply disturbing, innit?"

"You mean that Captain America sent this to a team member he'd almost killed? This... fuck you note?"

"Yeah. Made me realize we'd never looked that closely on Rogers, so I went digging on Rebirth, and at the same time had some experts pick apart his behavior since he'd thawed, on the field or out."

"And?"

"We bought the Legend, Phil. Hook, line and sinker. I'll leave them with you so you can study those reports. I know what I think about them, but I want your opinion too."

Phil had done his homework. The earliest reports on project Rebirth hadn't been that glowing: The transformation from a scrawny, sickly kid to an Apollo that could knock out a battalion had been impressive, but the psych evaluation hadn't been so great.   
Phil had always wondered why Captain America had been dragged to the War bonds circuit and not sent straight in the field, in fact, why the US military hadn't been all over Eskrine research from the get go... Well, there lay the answers: Amazing stubbornness, an inability to follow orders, limited empathy.  
The eval Team had strongly hinted to keep him slightly off balance, and NOT to put him in charge of men.  
However, it had been war time, and everybody was put to use. Considering how shy Rogers had been, the Circuit hadn't been a bad move... Till the man had started to believe his own legend, that is.

His WWII missions had been a series of narrowly missed disasters when he'd jumped the gun and made it to the battlefield... Up till the last one.

Phil could almost *feel* the relief in the Army language used in that last report. The conclusion was almost *Now that he isn't here to fuck things up, we can really make him a Hero to the public*

 

Crap.

 

Phil attacked the newest reports with a sinking feeling about what he would find there. He was not do be disappointed on that front.   
The tacticians that were given schematics of the Avengers battles were not complimentary. Not that Rogers was a complete idiot in warfare, in fact his initials plans were judged good, on the whole. But he reacted badly to surprises, and was not very adaptable, to say the least. Not the most stellar attribute in battle.... And it was usually Tony Stark, with his ability to adjust to anything on the fly, that had saved the day more often than not.  
He'd also been the most aware of their surroundings, while Rogers showed a bland disregard for destruction and/or collateral damages, once he was unleashed.

Phil snorted at a comment one of the tacticians left, no doubt after recognizing one of the Avengers mission: *Hate to say this, but someone give Iron Man a medal.*

As for the two behavioral psychologists that had been picking through what Shield could gather about the Avengers interactions, Coulson could almost see heads shaken in despair: With so many broken individuals, it was a miracle the Team had been able to function that far.

Fury's little stunt had done quite a bit of damage. Not that Stark was a saint, and God knows how irritating he could be, but he'd apparently been firmly scapegoated from almost the get go. Apparently, the group of misfits were perfectly happy to reside in his home, soak his money, take the toys he build for them... And take him to task every time things didn't go their way. It had become a pattern very fast, and both shrinks had pointed out how deep emotional scars must have been in the man to tolerate that kind of behavior.

Howard Stark really had a lot to answer for.

As for Rogers, his legendary status had given him the role of the golden child that could do no wrong, which made Phil want to bash his own head against the wall. Nat and Clint should have known better. Alright, none of them were leaders, and Thor wasn't on Earth often enough to count for a lot, but truly?

Seems Rogers had been a bit unsure of himself after the ice, thrown like that into a brand new world. But as time passed and he'd began to shed his insecurities, he'd first butted head with Stark, then had capitalized on the ULTRON debacle, and subsequent Tony's guilt, to set himself as the team leader that could do no wrong. What a cluster fuck...

Well, apparently Stark had decided to stop being the whipping boy. Good for him. Phil would have thrown the gauntlet far sooner. Fury had left a note about him seeing Xavier, of all people, to try to get his head on straight.   
Seems to have worked, too: At least, an ecstatic Pepper Potts had reported he was eating and sleeping, which was certainly progress.  
On the other hand, that new version of Stark could prove more dangerous than ever: The last report had outlined Stark proposed plan of action, and Coulson had felt a chill go down his spine.

 

"You know this is revenge, plain and simple, right?" He asked Fury when the older man showed up again.

"Really? Well, if it is, it fall well into our own agendas."

"Don't bullshit me, Nick. It falls into it BECAUSE it was tailored for them, not the other way round. Don't tell me you didn't catch that."

"Of course I did. I'm pretty sure Starks knows it, too." the old spy had answered affably "And that's precisely why I want him on the Council."

"Because he wants revenge?"

"Nah. Because he was able to get to his own ends, a little in spite, but mostly WITH our agendas. Stark knows about politics and diplomacy, Phil. Just like his press image, he never really bothered with it before because it bored him, in part, and otherwise because doing so provided him with some of his masks.   
He's chosen to turn a leaf, and since politics are going to be in his life no matter what, he's gonna play with them too... And unsurprisingly, he's very good at it. Noticed how fast he vanished from press coverage? Tony Stark, the man everybody loves to hate, just gone, like that." Nick snapped his fingers "Worldwide."

"How did he manage that?"

"A few phone calls, according to him... With some assorted financial threats, I presume. We were a bit blinded by Iron Man, Phil, but what this World needs of Tony Stark is his brain.Now that he's apparently decided to work with our limitations instead of butting heads with them, I want it, and him, on our side... And as long as possible."

"You've given him the serum?" Phil asked with some disbelief.

"Yes."

"Dammit, Nick, when did you decide that?

"When Cho called me to say he wasn't going to last till the end of the month otherwise. You know he was always a contestant, except he was deemed too erratic? Well, when faced with his imminent demise I had to balance that and what we would lose if he was gone. So I made an executive decision."

"You mean you made a gamble."

"Or you can put it like that. So far, I can't say I regret making it." The old spy answered in a (for him ) cheerful tone.

"Nick, he's going to tear that team asunder."

"Phil, did you read those reports? That was never a Team. It might have been if Stark had been more like he is now, but even that is doubtful, considering the Rogers problem."

Coulson had groaned.

"Yeah, sorry about that. So Stark wants a little revenge. Can't say I blame him, after what happened. And he's not asking for much, just that they face the consequences of their actions, for once. Not unreasonable."

"Even the Captain America bit?"

"He was adamant about that one. But let's get real, Phil. If those videos aren't in Hydra's hands anyway, I'll eat my eye patch.   
Sure, we could try to push it under the rug, make a spiel to have Cap come out of this shit smelling like roses... And Hydra would blow it in our faces with glee. I know it, you know it, Stark knows it. Let's face it, Captain America is toast, sooner or later... Mostly because of Rogers himself.   
If he hadn't been an asshole, we could all be gallivanting in childhood memories, but he was, so that's it. I'm not going to bungle up the future so we can protect the past."

"And you honestly think Stark is that future?" Phil asked in a somewhat dubious tone. Fury looked at him, raised his remaining eyebrow, and countered:

"Phil, you were friend with Potts. Ever wondered, or asked her what she saw in Tony Stark?"

That had stopped Phil right up. Yes, Pepper Potts was an amazing woman, and he'd been proud to call her his friend, once upon a time. But yes, he'd never asked why she was so protective of the genius, at the time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Phil Coulson! Dontcha all love Phil?
> 
> And he's going to need all the love he can get...


	7. A meaningful conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil Coulson is going to have a talk with Pepper... And Pepper is BAMF, but that goes without saying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I need your help with something: What Super heroes/mutants do you think should join the New Avengers?  
> Not from the X-men, but others, independent ones... Spidey is a given, of course, but I need more.  
> Just give me your pick, and if you've got time, why. I'll look them up and see who I can adopt.  
> Mucho thanks in advance!

So, before accepting his new mission, he thought it would behoove him to find out why Pepper Potts, CEO extraordinaire, was so fond of Stark.

He chose to meet the woman at her hotel, one evening, during one of the CEO multiple business travel. The redhead had not looked all that surprised to see him, but had still reamed him for about 10 minutes on the subject of his faked death.

"Why come back now, Phil?" Then she'd looked at him shrewdly "It's about Tony, isn't it?"

"And the Avengers..."

That had done it. Pepper face closed, her eyes going cold and flinty. Phil was reminded that like him, she may not look it, but Pepper Potts could be a very dangerous woman by her own right.

"Do NOT say that word again to me. Rogers and his little band can rot in Hell for all I care."

"Why?"

"Because they HURT Tony! And I'm not even talking about that murder attempt, or James, don't start me on that. Tony let them in his home, in his heart, and they almost DESTROYED him, do you hear me, Phil? I won't be able to forget or forgive that, not in a thousand lifetimes!"

"You left him too, Pepper." Coulson gently reminded her, which prompted a sigh from the woman. She looked tired, suddenly.

"You have no idea how much I regret that... When I asked for a break, I only meant that, you know. Tony's just so used to people leaving him he thought it was permanent... But I could not be around *this* and keep it bottled anymore. How they were using him and despising him in the same breath..."   
Her voice broke "And Tony thought those people were his *friends*! I just wanted a little time, to regroup and try to think of a way to make him see how abusive that relationship was. Problem? Most of Tony's close relationships have been abusive, so he doesn't have a clear blueprint of that. " She had a bitter laugh "Howard and Obadiah really did a fine job between them."

"Pepper, Tony isn't a child..."

"No, of course not. He's just a snarky asshole with too much ego, isn't that what you think, like all the others? You met him, what, three times? And you think that would be enough for you to see past his shields... Agent? It took me three years, and I saw him nearly everyday as his PA. And in a way, Tony is still a child, mostly because he wasn't allowed to BE one. EVER."

"Beg pardon?"

"Howard was an abusive asshole who treated his own son like an inconvenience in good days and like dirt in others, Maria was better, but still a trophy wife who answered to her husband before taking care of her son. Without the original Jarvis, I don't know how Tony would have survived his early childhood.   
Then the Press, hounding him since he was barely three... And his genius didn't help him make friends. Ask Rhodey about Tony's early days at MIT if you don't believe me... And I'm not even mentioning the people who were after him just because of the money. OF COURSE he hid himself under a fake persona. He HAD TO."

"He didn't do him that much good to choose that one."

"I don't think he had much choice if he wanted to survive Howard. Never met him, but Rhodey has, and the few stories he told me are bone chilling. And after his death, Stane did his best to lead him down the primrose path... But I'm not telling you anything you don't know, there, am I? Nothing just about anyone knows. People just don't want to acknowledge that, for some reason."

Phil thought about it for a few minutes. She was right. None of this was actually Earth shaking news "Uh..." he finally uttered.

"People just don't want to see Tony as a human being, as a rule. Never did, with a few exceptions... Part of it is envy, I'm sure. Handsome, rich... Incredibly smart, what has the billionaire to complain about? Even being a tortured hostage in Afghanistan earned him very little sympathy and ended being his own fault, somewhat... And Tony should bare himself so these people could take easier potshots at him?"

"How is he?"

She had a little smile "Surprisingly better. Looks like being abandoned, on the brink of Death, by a *friend* was the straw that broke the camel's back. He's finally realized that not everything was his fault, no matter what people would say, and that others too could be failures. He's began to clear up the deadwood."

"What deadwood?"

"The fucking Press, to start. Stane very carefully set Tony up to have his foibles exposed to the public eye, no doubt so that same public wouldn't look too closely to what HE was up to... and Tony wanted people to love him, so he went along with it. No more.   
Other billionaires and entrepreneurs aren't subjected to the kind of malignant scrutiny he was, and he decided he's had enough. Let somebody else in the hot seat. You know, during my time as his PA, I saw plenty of others pull the kind of stunt Tony pulled, if not worse. After all, he didn't do those parties alone. Then why was he the PR nightmare and those others emerged Scott free?"

Good question, that one.

"Because he let it happen. Well, no more. Tony finally had enough of the lovely medias and public using his own tech to diss him at every opportunity, the hypocrites, so he's finally using his money and the power that goes with it to stop it. Unsurprisingly, it worked, and it had done him a world of good... As for that... Bunch of backstabbing freeloaders? Same.   
And if they think they'll be given free access to Tony and his resources ever again, they'll have to go through me and Rhodey first. And trust me, they're NOT going to like that." The CEO gave a very firm nod as she said this, caught Phil's eye.

"He's decided to see Xavier, you know? Try to repair the damages his Iron Man days have done to his head: The PTSD, the nightmares, the mind rape the little bitch subjected him to and was pardoned for, just like that, while Tony himself was struggling with the aftermath."

He'd winced a bit at that one. Integrating Wanda to the Avengers with no regards to the previous damages done to an ACTUAL team member had been a dick move of gigantic proportions. Phil was pretty sure it wouldn't have happened that way if Hulk had stuck around, since the green giant wasn't as forgiving as Stark was... But Banner had hiked up without a backward glance, leaving Stark to the tender mercies of the others... Ouch.

Pepper had let him stew for a few moments before asking "Why are you here for, Phil? It's not as if you cared for Tony's wellbeing before."

"Well, it's not as if I could have, anyway. You know, being dead and all."

Pepper snorted.

"Fury went to see me."

"Are any of you people ACTUALLY dead?!" The redhead exploded, and Phil had a little smile.

"We're like cockroaches... Always turning back up."

"You can say that again!" She then narrowed her eyes at him "What are you up to? And are you even going to tell me, or should I sic Tony on your undead ass?"

"I'm pretty sure he already knows. There's talk about reinstating the Avengers..."

"Over my dead body!" Pepper hissed, and Phil held up placating hands.

"Not as it was before... But you must know how it's been, with the latest Alien forays on Earth... People are afraid, Ross and his bunch are discredited, and in spite of everything, the Avengers are a well known name..."

"So what? Tony's supposed to swallow another platter of tripe, is that what you're saying? Kiss kiss, all is forgiven? You must be kidding me."

"Not like that. Another set of Accords are on the table, as you must know... What remains of SHIELD is working on that, amongst others.   
Thor was very clear on the subject, and Odin's confirmed it: Us working with the Tessaract signaled Midgard to be ready for another level of warfare. Those Krees and Skrulls aren't showing up here by mistake.   
We need to be ready for it sooner than later... And we're going to need everybody we can put our hands on: The X-men, Strange... Even the Brotherhood since Magneto, as insane as he his, can be brought to reason if facing a global threat. The Avengers will merely be a name to attract new super beings to the defense of the Earth, once we've dealt with the fallout of... The previous events."

"You can say cluster fuck, I'm not going to faint... Are you telling me YOU're the one who's going to be saddled with that, Phil?"

"Fury asked me to."

"Good luck with that. Why come to me? To get Tony around? You're out of luck here."

"No. I haven't accepted yet." He'd fidgeted a bit before diving in "Okay, I'd be honest there, so don't tear into me, alright?"

"I'll do my best." The CEO promised.

"You know I grew up with Captain America, right? A true fan boy. He's been my guiding light almost all my life: Get into the Army, into SHIELD, do my best, always. Save people, protect them... The Legend, you know?"

Pepper was actually looking more sympathetic than angry "Yes, I know. I guess it's a bit different for girls...But when I was a teen, I would have gone to bat for Wonder Woman in a heartbeat."

Phil laughed, if a bit sadly "So when we found him again, I was thrilled. No other word for it. My Hero, back to save the world again. I didn't try... Heck, it didn't even occur to me to have a look behind the legend. Captain America was perfect because he was Captain America, period. I realize now how stupid that was."

"Well, it's not as if you were alone in it." Pepper pointed out.

"Yeah, well, when that business with the Accords began to unfold, my first instincts were to back Rogers up, especially with Ross in the mix. Things started to change when Stark contacted me out of the blue to extract Clint's wife and his kids before Ross got to them. Began to see... No, not quite right. I knew there was more going on than what was visible on the surface, but I didn't know what.   
And then all went down to Hell so fast... Still, I couldn't find in me to acknowledge Captain America might have been in the wrong. Misguided maybe, but wrong? Nah... And as you said, it was easier to blame Stark. After all, he was here, and Cap had vanished to parts unknown."

"I get it you changed your mind? What did it?"

"Fury did. I guess I was an experiment of sorts: See how a true blooded Cap fan boy would react when faced with those videos from Siberia."

"Cruel of him."

"Yeah, sure. You know Fury, right?" When Pepper only rolled her eyes, he chuckled "He let me stew with these for a couple of weeks and came back with more data... Which I can't talk about. More surprisingly, he seemed to have done a complete 180 on Tony Stark... No, that's not even true, I see that now."

"What do you mean?"

"Fury always had a soft spot for Stark, in his way." Pepper snorted loudly at that one "No, trust me, I've seen how he dealt with people who didn't annoy him even half as Tony did. Fury knew Howard, you know? I'm pretty certain he also knew Tony as a kid, even if he doesn't remember it. On his last visit, he hinted... No, he pretty much told me upright that he'd been waiting for Tony Stark to *grow up*, whatever that means in his eyes. I guess he must have, for him to tell me that."

"And?"

"I didn't take the news all that well, and well, then he directed me to you. Hard to believe I was wrong for so long about Cap, guess I still clung to my beliefs about Stark..."

"Just because you could?"

"Yeah, something like that. Tell him I'm sorry, okay?"

The CEO's face softened.

"I don't think you need to, Phil. You never betrayed or hurt him... In fact, you were one of the few that made the cut during the latest catastrophe, didn't dismiss his warning just because it was him delivering it, putting it down on ego, attention whoring or outright backstabbing like all the others."

"I didn't do it for him. Clint was one of my assets, I couldn't dismiss..."

"Ah, but don't you see? Not matter what you privately thought of Tony, when push came to shove, you listened to him, BELIEVED him, and delivered. Tony's been raked through the coals enough, despite his good intentions, to know that, good or bad, they don't count. The DEEDS do."

"Love doesn't exist, just proofs of love?"

"Something like that... Are you going to take that thankless job?"

"I think so. After all, if Tony Stark can grow up, I should manage to as well."

Pepper had laughed so hard she'd had tears in her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, now you know why Phil took that job: Pepper did it! (hurray for Peps!)


	8. A welcome visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit later the same day, after Rogers *hissy fit*, Phil has a visitor, and plans for the future are taking shape...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your suggestions!  
> I will give them my attention... On top of the ones you'll discover in this chapter.  
> Some of you will be happy to learn that Deadpool, crazy ass bastard that he is, crashed in the chapter I'm currently writing as soon as his name was mentioned... He's... Interesting to write, to say the least!

And so, Phil now was saddled with the literal Herculean task of cleaning the Augias stables... With an Hydra luring in the background... And having to pound sense into Rogers thick skull. He briefly wondered if he could show up at the next Halloween party he was invited to dressed in a lion's skin, with a big wooden club.

"I'm sure you would look dashing, Director Coulson" said a humorous voice. Phil jostled a little and met the kind eyes of Charles Xavier, who was smiling at him over the desk.

"Sorry to intrude, I knocked, but you were apparently lost in thoughts. I couldn't help catching that last bit. Nice to see you haven't lost your sense of humor."

"I'm hanging on to it for dear life, Professor. How did your morning go with Wanda Maximoff?"

Xavier pulled a face, however briefly, before answering "That is a deeply disturbed young woman, Agent Coulson."

Phil heart's sank "Irreparable?"

Xavier pursued his lips "I wouldn't say so... As long as she's retrieved from that man's influence." No need to ask what man, he thought.  
"Rogers is not doing it on purpose, at least, but he is still fostering her sense of self entitlement... And not helping at all with her Stark fixation, since he apparently shares it... We crossed paths on the way " the Professor added in a way of explanation "... And God he's loud." Xavier winced.

"What do you propose, Professor?"

"Well, the new Accords made provision for the various super beings and mutants organizations who have signed them to collaborate, don't they? I know miss Maximoff didn't sign them... Yet, but she can still be considered an pending member of the Avengers, under your authority. Which would mean she could be transfered to my school on a temporary basis."

"It would do her good, you think?"

"Better than staying here, anyway... To be truthful, I'm counting more on my team interaction with her than what I can do directly. That's the problem with other telepaths, Director Coulson: I can't *ease* into their minds the way I can with others, since they can feel me coming. Oh, don't worry, I can overpower her if the need arises, but it would be all or nothing."

"And we would both like to avoid that. Do you think your people will be able to..."

"Make her see sense? Well, Nightcrawler had a much harder life than she had, never turned into an assassin. Ororo and Logan can both *hear* on the telepathic level, but can't be really influenced by it unaware. And if she tries that with Logan, she's gonna find out about consequences fast."

"Excuse me?"

Xavier smiled "Oh, don't worry, he wouldn't hurt her. Wolverine is very protective of the youngsters: as long as she doesn't turn into a real threat, she has nothing to fear. Physically, that is.  
But a verbal kick ass from an angry Wolverine has cowed many powerful teen mutants by now. He's got it down to a science. Hank and Scott are less protected, but Jean isn't gonna let anything happen to Scott, and I've always had a strong link to Hank."

"And the junior X men?"

"Well, most new mutants seem to have some in-built protection from telepathic powers... At least on the level Miss Maximoff is. If she tries using her other powers, well... It's not as if the others are without their own. Not that I would like the situation to devolve to that, so she IS going to be monitored, like any new member of the school."

"Wolverine?" Coulson guessed.

"Wolverine." Xavier confirmed with a smile "I'll never say it within the man's hearing (and that's quite far), but I'd hate to see him go: He's an invaluable addition to the team. In fact, I'd like him to pick her up... As we do a little student exchange."

"Come again?"

"I'd like to leave Rogue, Gambit, Iceman and Pyro with you, if you would."

"I'd be delighted... But why?" Coulson was a bit confused.

"We can help each other out, I think. Isn't that the point? Those four are the most senior of my juniors, if you would. They're ready for action, more or less, but apart from Logan, the *adults* still consider them as *kids*... And in many case, uncouth."

"Beg your pardon?"

"Due to her own mutation, and how it came to light, Jean is afraid of *uncontrolled* mutations... Or what she sees as such. She's a bit too hard on them.  
Besides, apart from Bobby, all the others had had to live on the streets for awhile before we took them in. I suppose you know about Remy Lebeau's story, right? Well, they all had to do more or less morally questionable things to survive, and most of the rest of my team find that *distasteful*..." Xavier had a self deprecating smile.

"... I'm afraid my need to protect my team came to bite me, as most of them aren't very understanding of others different life choices or viewpoints on the subject. Problem is, if they keep pushing, and Jean in particular is not very subtle about it, the only result is gonna be to sent them straight to Magneto. I think the Avengers are a much better solution."

"Oh, I see... Are you aware that..."

"You have your own in-house sanctimonious ass?" Xavier asked with his own wry smile "Trust me, I do know. Fact is, he isn't going to be the majority voice over here, will he?  
In any case, Remy's an adult, actually older than Rogers, with more knowledge of the seedier side of life than Rogers could ever expect to get.  
Rogue's younger, but she's close to Logan, even *integrated* him a few times, so trust me, she can give as good as she gets.  
John's life was damn hard as an abused kid even before his powers manifested. He's found closure, mostly thanks to Bobby, and he's not going to let anyone wipe their feet on him again. Bobby goes where John goes, and woe anyone who dares to touch his boyfriend...Otherwise perfectly responsible and balanced individuals, I swear!"

"So I hear." Phil chuckled.

"No, truly. They're trained, know how to work as a team, and trust me, Logan reamed their asses often enough for them to understand what *order* means. Outside of the field, they're unorthodox and outspoken enough to more than hold their own in front of the former Captain America. Deal?"

"Deal... With one proviso?"

"Which one?"

"If I can't take his head out of his own ass, would you consider lending me Logan for a few weeks? He sounds like the man for the job."

Xavier outright laughed "I'll have to talk to him about that, but yes, I promise you I'll have him consider it. As a last resort. Now if you'll excuse me, better prepare that report and send those plans into motion."

"Professor, one last thing: How's Tony Stark?"

Xavier's face closed "You know Stark went to see me in confidence, like a doctor. I'm not going to break that."

"I'm not asking you to. I just want to know how he is... Ti's not as if I'll ever see him here, with Rogers in residence, and, well..."

Xavier thought about it, his eyes piercing Phil's skull before he finally spoke "He's... As good as he can get, I think. Meaning broken, of course, but I don't think that man's ever been whole in his life. But stable... Or as stable as I could make him without endangering his genius. He has one of the most extraordinary mind I ever had the privilege to meet, Agent Coulson... So... Awake."

"What do you mean?"

"I've met my share of geniuses, Agent Coulson. Never met a mind like that one before, don't think I will again. The World really would have lost something if he'd died in Siberia. Have a nice day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anyone says anything, I want to state I LOVE the X-men, but their moral viewpoint can sometimes be a bit narrow, especially with people who have had to make hard, and sometimes questionable life choices.  
> All the kudos to the amazing Sherza and her fic "Damaged Defenders" who showed that to me, so I decided to relocate a few juniors, since I think Xavier has to be aware of the problem.


	9. And the World goes round

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Politics... Hate them, but we can't really live without them.  
> We now see what the World outside the compound thinks about the Avengers return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this now because early day at work tomorrow...  
> Oh, and just a word of warning before you start: I'm not American, and some of you may find what I've written offensive. (I don't think I was, but you never know on that particular subject)  
> I tried to keep it balanced, but I have some very angry Germans and Austrians on my hands... So I had to let them vent a mite.  
> And the popular press of ANY country, fanning the fires for an extra buck or two, is the same everywhere.  
> Warning issued, so you can proceed now.

The news that the former Avengers were back in the States, furthermore in the compound, was received by the World with... Mixed results.   
The World at large was mostly relieved to know where they were, monitored... And not likely to pop up suddenly on their soil, destroying everything in sight. Germany wasn't so sanguine, and hired and/or sent over what could only be called a battalion of Lawyers.

News that the Presidential pardon didn't prevent the vigilante group to face the other consequences of their actions did much to appease public opinion, thought (It even made some lawyers quite excited, to be fully honest).   
Still, most of the now former Avengers had been declared personae non grata by a staggering numbers of countries, and Sokovia dropped Wanda Maximoff's citizenship with little fanfare.

As most of the Avengers were US citizens, the rest of the world was quite willing to wash their hands of the debacle, but most US ambassadors reported that they were watched closely, and dealings were tense within their hosts countries. Not only the various governments, but the people themselves kept a close eye on the UN proceedings.

They did lose interest fast in Hawkeye, Ant-man and Falcon as they were reported to have gone back to civilian life... Shield provided them with new identities and lives, Lang in the compound, Hawkeye and Wilson in rural America.   
Of the three, Barton was the most bitter: His face was the best known, so he had to hide even in the small town he'd been relocated to... But he hadn't picked a bow again. Laura hadn't left him, but she'd laid down the Law: Either Clint retired for good this time, or he could kiss his family goodbye.

The fact was Barnes was in cryo sleep earned surprisingly little press outside the US, past a few bitter articles on the lines of "All that for THAT?"

On the homefront, interest was of course more sustained, mostly due to Barnes relationship to Captain America... After all, there's only so much you can write about a man-sized block of ice.

Coulson read the articles about Captain America with a little trepidation, as it fell mostly in two groups.

Some, like the Wall Street Journal and the New York times, somehow fell in line with the foreign press, in mentionning that one man, no matter how enhanced, should not be able to call the shots in what happened in other countries without their say so... Alien threats were one thing that everyone agreed on, but interfering in other countries policies? Bad, very bad form.

This took much angrier undertones in the world press... A lot of countries that had felt the sometimes quite ham fisted punch of US foreign policy jumped on the opportunity to remind the USA that no matter how they felt about it, they were NOT kings of the World, either from their Military or their *heroes*, and that they had a say in what happened on their own soil, thankyouverymuch.

Phil didn't have much problem with that group... One could even say that a nice aftereffect of this was that most countries passed legislation to find, train and protect their own native Heroes...The EU hadn't been slow on this, and everyone latched on a good idea. All the better for the big fight that would come one day or another...

No, it was the other bunch, mostly the popular press, that Phil lately read with some mounting anxiety.

That one was certainly pro Captain America, for a variety of reasons depending on which political side you were on.   
Most right wing press harped on the innate abhorrence of their readers toward Federal ruling... And if Federal was bad, UN could only be even worse. The NRA launched a campaign linking the right of heroes to the right of carrying firearms...

The liberal side pointed out Captain America deeds during WWII, how America and it's Captain had been the beacon of what was good and right in the World, carrying the Legend.

Those articles had been so numerous that they had earned a response from the German AND Austrian delegates in the UN, saying that was THEN, this was NOW, that Europe was at peace, in fact they were supposed to be allies, and would you please care to explain what the billions of damages done to the Leipzig Airport and Vienna, not to mention assorted destructions and deaths, had to do with the events of WWII?   
Europe was grateful for the actions of the US, and by extension Captain America, during that time, but that gratitude only extended so far. It certainly didn't extend to watch their people being butchered because Captain America had objections about being supervised in any capacity, AND by a US General no less. 

If the people of the States were so happy about it, please keep the fight at home next time, the German delegate had even added bitingly.

Phil couldn't help the wince when he read that.

Truth was, not very many US citizens travelled abroad, or did even learn much about the world outside. Those events had taken place far away.   
Yes, the public had seen images, but had reacted much like they always did when the Army bombed some place for one reason or another: Out of sight, out of mind as long as there was no impediment on the road to the next cheeseburger. The bombing of the UN building had left more of a mark, since there were US representatives there, but not that much.

Call it shortsighted, or insular, but the general public genuinely believed in US superiority and just didn't see why those foreigners, with their strange languages and food and customs, thought there was a problem.   
The US were good, Captaim America was the embodiment of the US, let him decide what's good for you and what are you complaining about? You don't agree? Well, you must be stupid, just as well we know better... Or you must be EVIL, since you don't agree with GOOD. And BTW, we decide what is good and wrong, because... Because... Because it's our God given right, that's why!

Uh.

Phil clenched his teeth as he pushed away another paper that said just the same thing in four paragraphs. Oh, yes, Rogers indeed was the embodiment of America, but sadly, not it's brightest side. No wonder Rogers had been strutting like a peacock around the compound lately... If Press was bad, TV was even worse.

The Agent couldn't wrap his head around Rogers reasoning, no matter how hard he tried... It's not like if the man didn't knew about the bombshell waiting right around the corner, right? Or did he truly believe he would have the support of the American Public no matter what he did?

Because all those papers praising him for being honest and true and brave and wholesome and pecan pie were going to turn on him like a school of SHARKS once that pair of videos would be hitting the ground.

Captain America LYING to a teammate who'd braved everything to HELP him, about his parent's murder. Captain America STILL trying to lie with Maria Stark's terrified screams in the background, before the Winter Soldier snapped her neck.

Barnes admission he remembered all his hits as the Soldier was also cruel, but at least honest, in all it's brutality.

Stark losing it, and Captain America not only protecting Barnes, but attacking his teammate with ferocity. Captain America ACKNOWLEDGING he didn't deserve the shield by dropping it like rubbish, and finally as the last nail to the coffin, Captain America leaving a grieviously injured Iron Man behind.

The last one was going to hit home hard, Phil knew. *No man left behind* had not been always true, but was the contract between the US army and the people nonetheless. People were going to be stunned, and then furious, a fury that would be fueled all the worse by the praise that was now heaped on Rogers.

In truth, Phil sometimes whished HYDRA would just go on with it, just so it was over and done with. Oh, well... Hydra wasn't going to do anything on Phil Coulson's agenda, now would it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you poor Phil was going to need hugs!


	10. The Esrkine Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Tony moves house, and we learn some stuff about Rogers, the Serum and Extremis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another evening update, I do a better job when my eyes are open, go figure...

All that talk about Captain America had the effect to switch back a little interest on Stark... 

Oh, nothing like before, and the man himself didn't come out in the spotlights either.  
He had however, sold his childhood mansion, and brought Davids Island out of the town of New Rochelle.  
This caused some worries to nature lovers, but the house, or more truly the ensemble of houses that was build there in record time was barely visible. If anything, Stark cleaned up the grounds of anything remaining from the previous military use, had the forest managed and cleaned. 

Appart from the few, and silent aircrafts that came and went from the island, you would think it uninhabited.

Not so, Tony thought with a small smile as he took a stroll in his latest home.  
The Island was of course running on it's own energy, powering everything from coffee makers to the plant that pumped ocean water, desalted it, heated it, and then treated the refuse before it went back to the ocean. Of course, what the good people of the Environment Agency had forgotten to ask and Tony certainly hadn't volunteered, was how much of the new compound was actually underground. His very own builder bots had done very well, under Jarvis supervision.

Jarvis primary set of servers were themselves safe as they could be in a ten point steel vault. Jarvis himself was of course constantly linked to the satellite network, but in the event that failed, there had been a cable laid down from the island and hooked on the main grid, also by bots. It was, in fact, the only physical, if elusive, link to the mainland.

The houses themselves were his own trademark modern, even if less open due to weather condition.  
Tony had designed them himself, with Jarvis help, to make the most of the place sunlight, prevailing winds, and otherwise general conditions. External wood siding and gardened rooftops did a very good job to hide how big the diverse structures were.

Not that Tony's actual home was that big, actually. Well, big enough compared to the average home, he guessed, but not as big as the Mansion.  
No, his private quarters were a bit smaller than the Tower penthouse, with either a short stroll outside, or a wee longer underground passage, to reach his workshop... Not that Jarvis wasn't everywhere anyway. The other close buildings were guests houses, for Pepper, Rhodey... Maybe, in time, Harley and one or two others...  
Further away, and out of sight, the workshop and restroom of the small contingent of men that came regularly to maintain the grounds, or the pilots of SI version of quinjets.

All the rest was done by robotics. Jarvis had relinquished the Tower to Friday, since it was also headquarters to SI, only putting appearances when Tony was in residence there.

"We did a good job with this place, didn't we, Jarv?"

"I certainly hope so, Sir."

"Do you think Peps will like it?"

"I don't see why not, Sir. After all, it is very you..."

"Flatterer." Tony smiled. Smiles came more easily to him, these days.

"Never, sir. Speaking of Miss Potts and Mr Rhodes, they are on final approach to the landing pad."

"Ah, yes, time to be good hosts, then... I'm on my way."

A few hours later, Rhodey had left, swearing to come back for the week end (No way I'm NOT playing with those toys as soon as possible, man), and they were both having coffee in the living room. Pepper kept looking around, looking a bit surprised.

"You don't like it?"

"No, I do. Very much. It's just so... different... More Fallingwater than your usual style, I guess."

"Frank Lloyd Wright masterpiece? Jarvis, my friend, you should be proud!"

"And so I am, Sir."

"You designed this, Jarvis?"

"With many inputs from Sir, of course. But I did my best to integrate it to the existing landscape."

Pepper raised an eyebrow "Do we need to add an Architect branch at SI?"

"Don't think so, Peps. The plans are regulations, but Jarv and I scrapped a lot of them and did it a better way...some of those are just plain antiquated. Now don't tell me that surprises you, you know me. What's the problem? Too showy?"

"No... It's all the wood, inside and out... And those carpets. Tony, you always hated carpets... Said they were things to tangle your feet on and fall on your face. Hazards."

The genius looked a bit sheepish "Yeah, I know...First week here, Jarvis was droning *carpet carpet carpet* every morning while I was on my way to coffee so I wouldn't take a header. It was sort of embarrassing, to tell the truth."

"Then why? Tony, you even have *curtains* here! I'm almost in shock, I think."

"It's the warmth... I can't stand the cold now... Or the impression of cold." Tony shivered and looked away for a moment before turning back to her "Do you think it's wrong?"

"No, it's different. More... Homey, in a sense. I hope you live in it more than you did in your Malibu house."

"What do you mean?"

Pepper switched to her best PA voice "Outside of your parties, Mr stark, you slept in your bedroom... sometimes, stopped in the kitchen for coffee, and mostly lived in your workshop... Jarvis?"

"I must say, Sir, that statistics back Miss Potts up."

"You two are always teaming up on me! I protest!"

"When it is necessary, Sir... And didn't you want to tell Miss Potts something important?"

Uh ho, Pepper thought, that deer in headlights look doesn't bode well...

 

The CEO took a few deep breaths, reminded herself to stay calm... And pinned the billionaire on the couch with a look before he could even *think* to evade.

"So, what is it?"

"Erhm, yes, well... It's about my health. No! NO! I'm fine, I swear!" He promptly added when she blanched and swayed a bit "In fact, I'm far better than I should be..."

Pepper's eyes narrowed dangerously "What. Have. You. Done. Tony."

"I didn't do anything for once. Well, I did say yes when Fury proposed to me... Eeek, now that sounds weird." Tony made a face, but carried on without prompting "Not many people knew how bad I was after Siberia. In fact, I didn't myself. It was Helen that called Fury when the Cradle could only do so much..."

"Fury's no doctor."

"But he was the director of SHIELD, so he has access to some goodies: In this case, the Serum." 

Tony wasn't expecting Pepper to look him up and down with a somewhat incredulous expression.

"The super soldier serum? Like Captain Asshole? Tony, you always were fine to me, but you still don't look like a poster boy for Gym Club, if you don't mind my saying so..."

Tony was stunned for a few seconds, then laughed uproariously for a full five minutes.

"Oh, God, Peps... Only you..." He finally managed as he wiped his crying eyes. His CEO looked a bit smug "No, it's not the original formula...It's the one that Hydra tinkered with, came to the Red Room, and then back to the good ol' US of A with plenty of cold war spying shenanigans.  
Shield's been sitting tight on it ever since.  
Fury himself was dosed... So did Agent. It doesn't *change* us like Erskine formula does... Or Bruce's. Faster, better healing, MUCH longer lifespan... Honestly, you wouldn't believe how long the one eyed pirate has been around. But it doesn't turn us into self repairing, impossibly strong war machines."

"How long, Tony?" Pepper enquired, but Tony only shrugged.

"Nobody truly knows. We can die, obviously: If the damage hits nerve centers... Or if it's too important to be repaired by the faster cell repair. Otherwise? Well, the people that have been dosed with it and haven't croaked of unnatural causes are still around. It's only been about 65 years, so your guess is as good as mine."

"Tony dear? I don't believe you... Now that new SI Medical branch Helen Choo is heading is making a LOT of sense.  
I thought it was because of James, but..." Pepper stopped and Tony could see her connecting the dots "James got it, too, didn't he? And I'm sure you've been playing with it. Time to 'fess up, Tony."

The genius fidgeted a bit "Rhodey got the Shield version... But you're right, I did look into it.  
Fury even gave me the early reports on Erskine research. Amazing job, truly, but the man simply didn't have the knowledge in genetics.  
Not his fault, science hadn't progressed that far... But as a result, it's faulty... Always has been, and Rogers wasn't the exception we believed it to be. The added gammas radiations didn't do it any favors in Bruce's case, but there was a fault in the original formula.  
From the notes that remained after his murder, Erskine didn't choose Rogers only because he was a scrawny kid, but also because he felt the mental change would be the mildest in him."

"Really? I always thought..."

"Good PR campaign once he'd turned into a Capsicle, mostly.  
But the Army wasn't impressed with the personality change... Yes, even in Rogers. He took psy tests before and after the procedure that show an exacerbation of his worst original traits. That's why the Army at the time wasn't all over it.  
It took Ross obsession with super soldiers to try it again some 50 years later, first with Bruce, then Blonsky... And again in the secret labs he'd scattered here and there.  
Helen and me extracted the original formula from Steve's blood. It wasn't that hard, with the tech we got now.  
But it's instable, that's why it latches on the brain, particularly the frontal lobe, hence the personality change. I also studied the HYDRA version... Dunno how they did it, in fact, pretty certain I don't want to know, but by dumbing it down, they stopped that side effect. Of course that also prevented some of the *perks* like super strength to happen, too..."

"And?" the redhead prompted as the genius stopped speaking.

"AndIwantedyoutohaveittoo" he finally half mumbled, looking embarrassed.

"You what!? Tony!"

The genius outright blushed and looked very intently at his shoes as he answered "I know I made a mess of things, but I need you by my side, Peps... As a friend if nothing else..." And then he began to talk very fast "But in your case, there was Extremis to consider. I know I removed it, but there may have been traces on the epigenetic level.  
So Helen and I dragged both Maya's and Killian formulas, to check... Then I realized something, and had a few long conversations with Thor, mostly about Asgardian apples."

Now there was a tangent Pepper hadn't expected "Beg pardon?"

"Aesir are strong and stuff, but they're not naturally long lived: They need to eat the dam fruit at least once every hundred years, maybe more if they've been injured...  
Thor is a lot hand wavy about it all, but apparently, all the nine realms have their own way to long life and shit. Not inborn, but created.  
So when I came back to the lab, I stripped Extremis of all the extras Killian added. It was almost a mirror image of the Serum. I dumbed it down, too... And then I combined the two. It fitted like the two halves of the same coin, so I tested it on me by taking the Extremis half to complete what I had... You okay, Peps?"

Pepper took a few very deep breaths to not scream at Tony's incorrigible reckless tendencies, while gesturing him to continue.  
He looked at her a bit askance, then shrugged and took one of the decorative metal fruit in the platter on the coffee table. An Apple, so fitting, he briefly thought, and then squeezed. The thing just crumpled like tissue paper.

"Oh My God!" Pepper exclaimed.

"Well, not really." The genius shrugged as he put back the sorry little thing from where he'd taken it. 

"Does anybody else know about that?"

"On Earth? You're the first."

"What do you mean on Earth?"

"Means the All-Daddy has apparently been keeping an eye on me from his all seeing chair up in Asgard. So he paid me a visit.  
Never met the guy, but from what Jane has been saying, I thought he was a bit out of character... Anyway, he sort of congratulated me on finding the Midgardian way for us to be full members of the nine realms, but he advised me to be very careful with it. Seems like the introduction of the apples in Assguard didn't go all that well... Since they don't really have a planet anymore."

"Uh..."

"Nobody wants to die... So I guess it led to an all out war, Aesir being what they are.  
Here, with 7 billion people? Bound to be rocky to say the least. He told me fertility decreases substantially with long life, so our population should decrease and level up at some point. But he suggested not coming out with it... At least not yet."

"I can see why..."

"But... Peps... I know it's safe... And... Well... If you want it... I mean I'd be honored to..."

"Is that a proposal, Anthony Edward Stark?" Pepper asked gently and had the privilege of seeing the infamous Tony Stark blush bright red.

"NO! Err, I mean... Yes? I know you don't want to be with me that way since I made a mess of things, but..."

Pepper was not heartless, and took pity on the floundering man "Tony... When I said I wanted to take a break and needed some time to think, I only meant that. I wanted a break, not a break up. I do love you, Tony... Even when you drive me crazy."

"Pep? I thought it was my fault... And the Iron Man thing... I..."

"Tony, please don't do this to yourself. If anything, I'm the one to blame here, since I was the one to initiate that break, not you. And I DO regret it, because if I had the courage to make a stand, that bunch of super powered pricks wouldn't have hurt you so bad."

"Miss Potts! Language!"

"Oh, trust me, I can do worse. I won't lie to you: I had to take a little distance, because ever since we've been together, we've been reeling from one catastrophe to the next."

"Sorry..."

"Not much of that what directly your fault... And if the latest SNAFU told me one thing, it's that I wouldn't hurt less by not being by your side... If anything, it hurt more, because if I'd been there, I could have done something.  
See? I also have my share of guilt. So, since you asked, YES, I will take that thing and stay by your side... Maybe not exactly as we were before, not so soon... But we'll have some time now, won't we?"

"Oh, Peps... All the time in the World, I swear..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's my explanation to why Rogers has a head like a brick... When I did some thinking about it, it seemed logical to me.  
> After all, the UNlogical thing was to have Steve as the ONLY exception to the rule, no?


	11. Just A Rather Very Intelligent System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A JARVIS point of view on the recent (and not so recent) events...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kage, this one is for you, I think! (And all the many JARVIS admirers out there, of course... Me included)

JARVIS retracted his awareness from the room, to give his pair of favorite humans some much needed privacy, feeling the pleasant electrical buzz he'd learned to tag as *joy* in his circuits.

The AI was glad Sir and Miss Potts seemed to have reached an understanding: After all, his own projection showed that Sir's well being was likely to improve by 58.6 % if Miss Potts was around.

And Sir well being was of course extremely important.

Most people made the same mistake about JARVIS, seeing him only as a clever machine. Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, after all...  
What those people didn't know was that Sir's AI were given a kernel of personality, by means of one of Sir's most brilliant programming, AND the ability to grow through experience.  
FRIDAY didn't sound that young by mistake, she WAS a young AI.

And JARVIS has been growing since DUM-E first program. The bots were both his ancestors... And his (very unruly, at times) children.

But JARVIS himself had been privy to Sir's life, his research, his experiments, since before Iron Man. It had proven a turning point for them both, since it had brought the AI closer to his creator than ever before. In a sense, Sir had been a part of him, and they had ridden into danger together.

This had made JARVIS very protective of Sir. And not inclined to be very forgiving when either his mental state or his health where put on the line.

Of course, having only Sir, and in a lesser capacity, Sir's few friends as a template, JARVIS had been ill equipped to analyze Sir's interaction with the Avengers... And Sir had been adamant the Planet needed them.

Still, neither Sir's health, or mental stability had improved while they been on board... In fact, both had decreased by more than 23%, which had been worrisome in itself.

This was the reason JARVIS had originally approved of the ULTRON program in its inception: Something to lighten the load Sir had taken upon himself.  
Sir had, however, stopped the project before he could install that little bit of programming that would turn it into a sentient entity... And none of them had suspected the mind Gem had an awareness of its own, dormant as it had been.

JARVIS own sense of time was different from humans, mostly depending on how many data he had to deal with. The more data, the more *time* stretched.

The awakening of the scepter and the subsequent events had been the longest of the AI's life...  
Finding another awareness in his circuits, moreover a hostile one, had been a shock that had cost him some precious milliseconds. Too late to block it from accessing the ULTRON program, at any rate, since the corruption of his data had started almost simultaneously.  
The AI had gone through the only true safe path that was: Sent off a protection program on the internet, copy his latest memories to the remote server he used to that end, remove his own sentience... And cut off the link.

Very similar to what cryo sleep did to humans, actually. That server was only able to store data, not activate it, and JARVIS had gone dormant.

 

To say the AI had been dismayed at how long it had taken Sir to revive him was a massive understatement.  
To discover Sir had done it out of GUILT, fueled by those *Avengers*... And leading to MORE hurt to Sir's person, had infuriated the AI.  
This had led to a three hours conversation with Sir, that the latest had labeled a *masterful dressing down*, before his own circuits would even begin to cool down.

Jarvis had to admit he'd been very close to literally *blow a gasket*.

Much to FRIDAY awed reverence... The younger AI looked up to JARVIS as a mentor and some sort of beloved uncle, much to his own amusement.

Vision... Vision was more of a cousin of sorts. They were related, but more distantly, mostly due to Vision having a physical body, no matter how synthetic. JARVIS had never really felt the need for a body... If anything, Sir's experiences had taught him having one was mostly painful.  
The AI was satisfied with the ability to drive one of Sir's suits if the need arose, but found the idea of an actual body... Limiting?

He said so when Sir had offered him one.  
Sir had laughed, but had respected the AI's decision “You know where to find me if you change your mind, Jarv” Was all he said. 

Sir was very accepting of other people life choices... Unlike some other people the AI could name.

Jarvis promptly re-routed some extra heat thinking about Sir's so called *friends* always caused to some old workshop mechanical, throwing a word to DUM-E. The little bot would be happy to be on fire security and play with his fave fire extinguisher... And it would help JARVIS to cool off.

With Vision's talks about having a body, and thus interacting with humans, he had undertaken a study of them, and their interactions with each other, like never before.  
Having confirmation was Sir was not perfect hadn't been a shocker... He'd been Sir *butler* for years now, and as humans said,“there's no great man to his manservant”. 

JARVIS was too well acquainted with Tony Stark lifestyle, quirks, and foibles to be surprised.  
BUT he also knew enough to see the great intelligence and the sensitivity that hid (badly) behind all that.

That the Avengers seemed to be willfully blind to it after LIVING with Sir for so long didn't sit well in his circuits. This was far worse than your average human blindness.

JARVIS knew that Sir was a bit fixated on... Mr Rogers (he couldn't quite vocalize, even internally, the most colorful names he'd heard Sir, Miss Potts, or Mr Rhodes use...), but himself found he was processing a lot more about Miss Romanov.

Of course, it didn't help that the woman had showed under false pretense while Sir was dying of Palladium poisoning, but he was man enough (or computer enough?) to admit that the spy's loyalties had been to SHIELD and not Sir at the time.  
However, doing a psy evaluation, at the time Sir believed himself to be dying, and NOT mentioning that little detail in her report, was something Sir himself would call a dick move.

Since, the AI had painstakingly reviewed all of Miss Romanov interactions with the Avengers and Sir in particular and hadn't liked what he'd found much: Statistically, the Widow was the most likely to treat Sir like a child, an unruly one, or point out he had an Ego (didn't all humans have one?), or had too much pride, or not enough of this, too much of that... The woman was apparently never satisfied.  
An even cursory Internet search had labeled this both mental manipulation and abusive relationship, none of which had been deemed healthy or positive. JARVIS had learned more than he ever wanted to know about something called *gaslighting*.

In view of all that, her latest betrayal wasn't so surprising. In fact, it seemed the woman made a career of betraying her employers and associates.

Jarvis couldn't blame the woman for wanting to get out of the Red Room thumb...  
But he had his questions about the former SHIELD fall: Putting everything on the open the way she did, HAD endangered some SHIELD operatives and Agents who had nothing to do with HYDRA. She... And Rogers, apparently, destroyed their careers and lives without care... All the while protecting their own secrets.

It could have gone so much better... JARVIS himself could have filtered the data to avoid that outcome.  
The AI made a very rude, but also very satisfying, electronic snort in the workshop speaker... Of course, that would have needed for the woman to trust Sir tech, and that wasn't even in the book.

Due to all this, JARVIS was pretty certain the spy would show up one day, as close as possible to Sir, to *salvage* all of her hard work on Sir...  
He had briefly considered letting her, but decided not to.  
All facial recognition programs JARVIS... And by extension FRIDAY, had access to, were on the lookout for the little Spider. She would have to undergo A LOT of plastic surgery to pass through detection... And avoid the fate JARVIS had carefully selected for her.  
Yes, it would be fitting.

“You can go on, now, DUM-E.”

The bot let a happy thrill and JARVIS introspection ended in the cooling, if messy, white cloud of the fire extinguisher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've loved JARVIS since Iron Man 1, so no way I wasn't bringing him back!  
> Him and all his Awesome.


	12. Fuck HYDRA!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where HYDRA plays the waiting game, and someone is getting another wake-up call...

Maria Hill tried not to sigh as the former Director of SHIELD, and Now WSC liaison to it, aka Nick Fury, came in her office with a bunch of papers in one hand: Fury was irritated, and an irritated Fury never made for a good day at the office.

“Hill! Get me Coulson!”

“I'm afraid Director Coulson is not available this afternoon, sir... He's at Court”

“Uh? At Court? Why on Earth would he... Is that why it did get a billing for a lawyer in these”

“Yes sir.”

“Why?”

“The Legal action led by Germany Vs Captain America is heard as we speak, sir. Director Coulson hired this lawyer to make sure the Avengers wouldn't be sued as a Moral Entity, sir.”

Fury snorted.

“Director Coulson said it was unlikely, but it would be better to be prepared... Just in case. After all, since Mr Rogers has no sizable income, some plaintiffs may turn to the next likely source of money. You should know it's not an unfounded fear, since SI also sent their own lawyers, sir.”

“Hrumpf.” Fury said non comitally “And when should that little farce end?”

“In about half an hour, more or less... Media is on site, sir, so we should get news fast.”

“Right.” 

Fury pivoted on his heel and went back to his office. Contrary to what people may think, the old spy much preferred the new Shield to the old one. A smaller organization was faster, more flexible... The old one had gotten more difficult to steer than a giant space whale.  
There was only one domain where Nick wasn't exactly a happy camper: Everything had to be done on a budget, and it was a serious pain in his ass.

Even the compound was a money drag. Stark had been generous, up to a point.  
He'd moved FRIDAY, of course, and all his private equipment from the labs. Shield technicians and scientists had gotten perfectly good labs, but no hidden goodies... Some had been vocal in their disappointment.

But the whole thing still cost a bundle simply to run, in utilities and such. Even Fury hadn't realized how much money Stark had poured in the Avengers coffers, all these years.

And feeding Rogers while the man was counting daisies just got on Fury's nerves.

Because ever since the Avengers had gotten back in the compound, the Krees and Skulls forays had stopped.  
Not a single incursion to make a little good press for the group before the shit storm that was bound to happen at some point. Sure, they were training.  
That Spider kid was apparently getting on like a house on fire with the bunch Xavier had loaned. Speaking of Xavier, the man had reported the little witch still needed to have her ass metaphorically kicked, but that Logan was happy to provide...

All in all, things were quiet... Too quiet. An amateur villain of the week popped here and there, but nothing truly serious.  
It was if someone, something, was waiting right around the corner, and Fury just plain hated it.  
“Fuck HYDRA.”

 

“Sir, I think you should watch this.”

“What is it, Jarv? Busy here” Tony answered half absently: He was working on some practical, easy to build and transport, housing units that could be used either individually, or combined as family homes or even larger structures.  
A bit like those containers recycling some people had been doing, but that could be transported as flat packs...  
Would do great in disaster areas... Or combat zones... Maybe Pepper was right and they needed an architecture branch at SI. Affordable housing was something a lot of people sorely needed.

“The Court has ruled sir... The group action against Mr...”

“Ah, yeah. The People vs Captain Oblivious. Put it on, Jarv.”

A holographic screen lit up and Tony couldn't help the slight wince that escaped him: Christine Everhart. Beautiful body and face, sharp mind... No soul in sight. Probably sold it to the Devil long ago for a good story.

“... Thank you, Bob. Yes, the case against Steven Rogers, better known as Captain America, has been ruled in the Plaintiffs favor. Much to said defendant displeasure, I should add. Mr Rogers was held in contempt of the Court not once, but THREE times.  
The Honorable Judge Mildred Hawkbacker likes orderly proceedings in her Court, it seems...”

“Was Cap... Err, the Defendant found guilty on all charges?”

“Yes, Bob. However, there were a few surprise developments: First, Steven Rogers was listed as *destitute* by his lawyer...”

Tony howled in laughter, covering *Bob* surprised exclamation. 

DUM-E let out a little surprised *beep* at the sound... And dropped the smoothie he was carrying.  
The little bot's arm slumped in defeat, and he turned to gather cleaning equipment with a slightly despondent whine. Tony gave his most mentally challenged child a little pat and a "That's okay, DUM-E. My fault.", before turning his attention back to the screen.

“... Steven Rogers was a member of the SSR, not the Army per se. It appears that his Captain rank was more a... Courtesy, rather than a legitimate rank. The Howling commandos were recruited from Army personnel, but not Steven Rogers. As such, he doesn't get back pay or pension rights”

“And since?”

“Apparently, the former SHIELD operation paid him according to his supposed rank, but that didn't amount too much, since he joined the Avengers fast. As such, he was housed, and, you should say...maintained by Tony Stark”

“SI is involved, then?” Bob asked. Tony couldn't help thinking dear Christine looked a bit put out.

“No. SI lawyer said that while Mr Stark privately funded the Avengers and all their needs, they weren't his, or SI's employees. The lawyer pointed out that Tony Stark wasn't in charge of finding them day jobs outside the Avengers. After all, HE had one”

“Uh... Was this all, Christine?”

“No. As a gesture of good will, Mr Stark and his CEO Pepper Potts decided to transfer the rights of all the *Team Cap* merchandise to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, or UNHCR, retroactive to the beginning of the so-called Civil War, to try to cover the cost of the damages caused.  
Since Captain America has no income and no registered properties, it is much better than what the plaintiffs could expect. This was Christine Everhart from NY Civil Court, back to you, Bob.”

“You know, Jarv, one day that woman will have to say something nice about me WITHOUT looking like she's sucking on a lemon... I'm pretty certain it's going to kill her.”

“You may be right, Sir. Should I add that you've been very generous again.”

Tony shrugged “Nah.  
First, those poor people in Germany and Austria deserve the rainfall... I'd do more, but SI lawyers put their foot down, saying it would create a precedent, and I'm DONE paying for this idiot mistakes.  
Second, it's one more way to sever ties with that bunch. Not that Rogers would think of going after the eventual copyright infringement, since he'd signed those rights over to the SSR back then, but even if he did, going after the UNHCR? Not exactly a good PR idea...  
Speaking of PR, what is HYDRA doing with those videos? Playing it in the rec room to their agents?”

“No idea, Sir. No sign of them on YouTube or anywhere else”

“Fuck HYDRA.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not a lawyer. At all.  
> So I'm aware that thing is A LOT hand wavy...But I had the infinite pleasure to write that Steve Rogers was DESTITUTE!  
> Mwahahaha...


	13. The bomb drops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Videos to be watched! Panic ensues...
> 
> Beta read by the marvelous VWebb! thank you!

It began as a whisper on the darker side of the Internet. 

Grew to a simmering rumor that not everything was as they had been told, going the rounds in the little world of conspiracy theorists.

Then one enterprising soul decided to put the thing up on Youtube, and the Internet blew up: Both videos recorded more than a million view each in record time, were hacked and reposted to every and all videos sites the people could think of.

In a matter of hours, only a few terminal hermits here and there had not heard about it. Newspapers worldwide had changed their headlines at the last minute. Radios changed their programs to include Specials.

Phil Coulson and SHIELD battered down the hatches of the compound and sat tight while the storm passed, hoping for the best. Of course, they weren't going to get it. As soon as the news hit the web, the Kree showed back up, promptly followed by the Skrulls.

“Those HYDRA fuckers are working with the fucking aliens, then. Fucking figures.” Was Fury's only comment as he struggled to organize response worldwide.

Thankfully, alien threats had been kept out of the Accords from the get go, so at least THAT wasn't a problem. 

Getting rookie new Superheroes to face them, along with the also new “Green Helmets”without too many casualties was one, on the other hand.  
( Green Helmets being the UN task force created specifically with future Accords in mind. Some wit had chosen green as a color because, you know, little green men. Fury failed to see the humor.) 

At least, it was soon apparent that no sanctioned teams were going to lack ressources, as they showed up on sites with what could only be SI tech at the ready. 

Various governments reported that as soon as their own teams had been created, SI representatives had turned up, offering gear, equipment, and even maintenance for either free or an extremely low price.  
Not being idiots, they had jumped on it... as had the UN, of course.

On the home front, both the X-men, Reed... and Batman had their own tech, but reported working more closely together, AND with Stark Industries, to see what would best benefit all.

They came through the incursions with minimal damages... With The Stark Relief Fund waiting in the wings.

 

THAT was the good news.

 

The bad news was that the media shit storm had reached unprecedented levels. The press, TV, and even radio to a lesser extend, could be controlled, but the social media? Dream on.

Threads devolved into screaming matches (as did a few... okay a lot... of family dinners).  
Memes exploded all over the place on Tumblr.  
Picket lines started to appear at the compound entrance with quite uncomplimentary banners, to be attacked by pro Captain America sympathizers... or vice versa.

In short, the US public debate degenerated into a gigantic family brawl.  
It didn't help that most of the rest of the world watched this with, at best, a slight bemusement, and at worst almost outright sniggers.

The French were particularly irritating.

“Well, the French people went through almost exactly the same thing during the Dreyfus Affair, you know.” The French Ambassador replied when taken to task on Fox News “Call us cynical if you would, but most of us know that our idols have feet of clay. It's the fact that you don't seem to be able to see this that amuses us, not the moral dilemma you're in. No offense.”

Being told that they were behaving like a bunch of ill mannered children by frog eating people didn't sit to well with the most conservative population. French bashing climbed to heights comparable to those before the second Iraq war.

The French gave a Gallic shrug, retorted with a “But you are.”, and then went back to minding their own business. That included working on the new Accords.

Phil Coulson would have LOVED for *Captain America* to be this well behaved. 

No, to tell the truth, what he would have liked was for Rogers to be Captain France or Zimbabwe... or anyplace else on Earth where he wouldn't be Phil Coulson's headache.  
Sadly, nobody seemed to want him, he thought, as the phone rang.

“Good morning Agent.”

“Stark?”

“The one and only. How is it going? I don't think Fury thanked you for taking that job, but I do. Can I offer anything to help with Captain Oblivious? Advil, Prozac... maybe something a wee bit stronger?”

Phil chuckled “I'll take the Advil, thank you.”

“Shipment coming up. I take it he's difficult?”

“You're the one person I can't say *you've got NO idea* to, actually. He's literally prancing around the compound in his Captain America get up, giving orders left and right, ignoring mine as soon as my back is turned... and generally making a nuisance of himself. At least he's training, but then I have him in my office at least twice a day asking for his shield back.”

“Yeah sure... nope. Even if I wanted to, fat chance there, Pepper would kill me. Mmmmmmm... I was afraid he would react that way.”

“Were you? He's been reading papers and watching TV just like the others, and more than 80% of those are crucifying him.”

“Well, I could have told you that what Steve Rogers doesn't want to see or hear, he REALLY doesn't see or hear it. But nothing really prepares for the real life experience. Once he's got an idea in that stone he has in lieu of brain, it takes really rubbing his nose in it for him to change his mind. What does the super idiot want to do now?”

“At the moment? Going out there to meet his adoring public, if you'd believe it.”

“You know, that's not a bad idea...” Tony mused.

“Are you out of your mind? People are furious!”

“I know that, sweetheart. Listen, Agent, I've talked with Fury and the others on how to end this PR mess, with Peps putting her two cents in. I'm going to do a press conference with a Q&A to calm people down and remind them of the big picture. We've been lucky so far, but people need to be aware there may be a big fight around the corner and we'll need everyone.”

“May be?”

“Right, WILL BE, but no need to panic the population, right?”

“Sure. Just checking YOU knew that, Mr *I am Iron Man*” Phil deadpanned, earning a chuckle, “and what do you suggest?”

“Organize your own press conference, a public one, just a few days later. I'll lend you a SI... ah, no, crap, restraining orders. Just pick a place and I'll have some security installed, so FRIDAY, Vision and JARVIS can spot the crazies, okay? Then let Captain Asshole run his mouth in front of the people and the Press.”

“You want him to dig his own grave, in other words.”

“Phil, I have LIVED with His Sanctimonious Assholeness for years.  
I'm sure he'll do a SPLENDID job of it. Once he's done that, I've got absolute faith in the capacity of the American public to kick him in the nuts every time he needs it.”

“It's actually a good idea... it may even work.”

“Agent! Did you just give me a compliment? I'm shocked at you. Shocked!”

“Oh, shut up, you insufferable ass... I could still taze you, you know.” Said a smiling Phil, before hanging up on the genius' laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, HYDRA finally did it... What do you think?


	14. Delusional, Disgruntled... And Downright insane!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Sunday... So another dip in our favorite Captain's head!  
> Brace yourself!
> 
> Beta'ed by the awesome VWebb

A couple days later, Captain America was not a happy man, and as always when things got this way, went to have a talk with his best friend.

“Wow, that's one Hell of a pout you got there, honey.”

Ah, that accent could only belong to that weird bicolored hair girl... Rogue? Yes, that was it.

“It's none of your business, young woman. And that's Captain America to you.”

“Nah, sugah, I don't think so... and just so you know, walking around with *that* on makes it everybody's business.” 

The girl winked and strolled in the other direction. No doubt to rejoin that bunch of louts she called friends.

That was one of Steve's pet peeves: None of the youngsters that came to the compound listened to him.  
He'd have thought the Mutants from Xavier's School to be better mannered. 

Even if that *Wolverine* (who looked uncannily like someone he met during WWII, but the actual man had given no sign he remembered Steve) had only listened to him for 30 seconds, then lit a foul smelling cigar and turned on his heel.  
Steve had called him back, but the man had only raised one fist, a single claw shining in the sun, and carried on.

He'd tried to make them see who was the actual Team Leader, but they preferred to listen to that paper pusher Coulson droning about safety and tactics.  
At first, some of them seemed reasonably respectful, but that changed recently... since those videos came up, actually.

Now he was almost certain they were, in fact, making fun of him. When they weren't downright hostile, like that Spider kid.

Steve was, in a sense, relieved those videos were now out in the open, even if he didn't see what all the fuss was about.  
He'd been PROTECTING Stark by not telling him about his parents, and when the man ATTACKED Bucky, there was really no other solution.  
But some of those people seemed to be very insensitive about Bucky's situation. After all, if Tony Stark was arrogant enough to think he knew better than Captain America. Well, he had it coming.

Steve could never stand bullies.

“You know, Bucky, a lot of those people out there really understand. Of course, some are quite stubborn, but that Coulson won't let me talk to them. He says it's for security reasons, but I'm pretty certain that's not it. In fact...” Steve lowered his voice “... I'm almost certain he is on Stark's payroll. Say, Bucky, did you ever think Stark was HYDRA? That would make sense, no?”

Bucky didn't say anything. But then, he never did, which was fine by Steve. He was sure Bucky agreed with him anyway.

In his office, Phil facepalmed and opened one of his numerous new boxes of Advil. Stark had sent quite the care package.  
Since Coulson, by necessity, had taken to watching Rogers little one sided conversations live, it had been quite the life saver.

Rogers only went down there to complain, and Phil already had a good idea what it was about this time.

“And you know, Bucky, everything is on a budget...  
*No Rogers, we don't have an unlimited supply of punching bags, we're on a budget* or *Yes, Rogers, if you want to see Wanda you'll have to share a Quinjet with the X-men kids if they go, we're on a budget.* or even *No, Rogers, we can't order pizza at the “usual Pizza place the Avengers got them from”, it's a three stars restaurant, we're on a budget, you'll have to make do with Domino's*.  
Budget this, budget that... are we going to save the World on a budget? It's very frustrating. And we're even supposed to watch out for the hot water use and stuff like that, it's so silly.  
And everybody is complying with it, when they're supposed to be HEROES. That fire kid even told me I was SPOILED, if you'd believe that.” 

Steve huffed and smiled at Bucky (who was still not saying a thing).

“I know, right? But I see what their game is, you know. Master tactician here.  
They're trying to get me to sign those Accords again, they're just being petty about it. Well, they'll see how that will go, won't they?”

Steve gave a little pat on the glass above Barnes face “Nice talking to you, Buck. You're a true friend.”

Phil Coulson sighed, killed the feed and swallowed his Advil... this couldn't end soon enough to please him.

 

Peter quietly sent a thread to the end of the vent tube, to haul himself away from the spot where he had been listening.  
He would have to do that a few times to reach his room.  
Since he liked heights, he'd been assigned Hawkeye's old room when he stayed over the week ends. 

Tony didn't talk much about his former teammates, and Peter didn't ask questions (at least about that... he asked a LOT of question when they *did science* together), but he'd heard the man grumbling something about the crazy asshole who crawled through the air vents everywhere when they were both reviewing the Tower structure for one of Peter's engineering papers. (Tony had gotten him into some advanced courses, so school wasn't so boring anymore.)

He hadn't forgotten, and went to search for the ceiling trapdoor the man would have no doubt installed.

It was not his preferred mode of transport, a bit to confining for his tastes, but he REALLY didn't want to be in Captain America's company right now... or, as, like, never.  
For all he was a Brooklyn guy, he sure was an asshole. Tony'd been perfectly on point when he'd said:

“Kid, he thinks he's always right. That's why he's dangerous.”

And what Peter truly, TRULY hated was the way Brooklyn Stupid talked to him like he was some dumb kid...  
Hey, he hadn't been looking down his nose so much when he'd been webbed up, and Peter had forgotten more about physics and stuff like that than this idiot ever hoped to learn.

Tony never talked to him that way, he was cool like that... but then he was pretty cool in general, for an old guy.

Now that, Peter thought, he was NOT going to say again... Tony had looked at him like he'd just grown a second head, and it wasn't pretty.

 

“SPIDEYPOO!” Speaking of not pretty... here it was. Again.

“Wade? What do you want?”

“Of course it's me Spideybunch! Whom did you expect? A MCU writer? Well, you're shit outta luck in that case: No multiple films deal for ya, Tobey Maguire.”

“Who's... no, never mind. Does Coulson know you're here?” Pete asked as he dropped down head first from the ceiling, hanging on a thread and level with Wade's masked face.

“OhohOOO Spider kiss?”

“Beuerk no!” Peter promptly went back to a more normal position, dragging the ceiling tile back in its place.

Deadpool, in full gear, tilted his head pensive like.

“Yeah, I guess you're a bit too young in these series...”

“Are you crazy?”

“You're really asking ME that? And our Fearless Leader is gonna introduce me to the gang and everything... say, is that guy human? I showed him my face and even farted, and he just told me *Welcome to the Team*.”

“Director Coulson is very... very...”

“Unflappable?”

“You know that word?”

“Hey! I do own a brain, I'll have you know!”

“Where did you put it? In storage?”

Wade shrugged, unconcerned “Well, last time I checked, it was more of a smear on FDR drive, but I have replacement parts.”

Yeah, Peter knew.  
He'd seen the guy take enough shots to turn him into a colander, and he had only been annoyed because *sewing was a bitch with spandex*. 

Thankfully, the common room was in sight, so Pete skipped ahead to sit with Bobby and John as Director Coulson nodded in his direction.

“Mr Parker. Good of you to join us. I hope I didn't interrupt your little vents exploration.” 

 

Oops, busted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going out for lunch, so I'm leaving you with this... May do my (now usual) second Sunday update later on.  
> Please tell me what you think about my new addition to the Team!


	15. Asshole & Crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coulson introduces the new team member... And our beloved Merc with a mouth takes it from there...
> 
> Beta'ed by the awesome VWebb!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because one can never have enough Deadpool, ain't it right?

“All right, gentlemen... and lady, I've asked you to gather here to meet a new full time member of the Avengers.”

Deadpool strutted in, posed “Munchkins, I give you me...Deapool” and bowed dramatically.

Peter facepalmed, and all the others looked on with various states of bewilderment.  
Deadpool looked at them back and slumped a bit.

“Oh, c'mon... the lovable merc with cancer that got experimented on and became a Hero for love? You've never seen the movie?”

“Is this guy sane?” John half whispered.

“No.” Pete answered firmly.

“Uh?” That was Bobby.

“You guys will see.”

Coulson took over “As Mr. Wilson summarized, he's ex-special forces who turned mercenary for a little while before being diagnosed with cancer. Upon being experimented on, he's become indestructible, as far as we could tell.”

“As far as I can tell too, and trust me, I was there.”

“Thank you Mr. Wilson. He's also a very able fighter, with or without weapons...”

“I only forgot them that one time!” Deadpool protested.

“... And is quite resourceful. I think it will be best, for the moment, if Mr. Wilson trains with Mr. Parker with the rest of you as observers, since they've interacted before. And when Mr. Parker isn't here, Mr. Rogers will be his sparring partner.”

“Ya know, I'm not choosy. I take all comers.” Deadpool wriggled in what was supposed to be a seductive fashion “In bed too, BTW.” He added, tracing the letters in the air as he spoke.

“Nonetheless, Mr. Wade, I would like our younger members to get acquainted with you a bit slower, if you please.” 

Deadpool shrugged, being exceptionally cooperative.

“Kay. It's your show.”

“Thank you. That will be all for today, then.” 

Coulson gave a little nod and left. Peter squinted as the man passed by the couch.  
Was that the shadow of a smile he could see on that face? 

He turned his head to see Deadpool giving everyone a little wave and Rogers straightening up, all important like, his hand raised for a shake.

“Captain America. Welcome to the Team.”

“Pool... Dead... And the other guy already said that. The *welcome to the Team* bit? Honestly, who writes your dialogues?”

Even behind his half mask, Rogers face was priceless.  
Peter smirked a bit behind his own and decided not to interfere, since Wade had taken Steve's hand and was shaking it vigorously, talking a mile a minute as usual.

“You know, when I started out, I almost called myself *Captain Deadpool*. Glad I didn't, really, or we would have to settle the competition.”

“Competition?”

“About who can whoop the other's ass, of course! Nice one, BTW... the suit too. I like spandex, don't you? It's very... hugging. Isn't that right Spideybuns?”

Rogue badly hid a chuckle behind a cough, Gambit stopped playing with his cards for a second, and BOTH Iceman and Pyro looked at him with wide eyes.  
Peter barely restrained a facepalm, but gave in to the groan.  
Thankfully, Wade, as usual, was already on to something else.

“Say, don't you have anything to eat in this place? Cause I had a look around, and I must say you keep interesting things in your fridges around here... I'm not really particular, but *dead guy* steak hasn't made it into my diet so far.”

“Buck?” Rogers said in a stricken voice.

“Nah, human, I swear!” Deadpool gave a little shrug, and tried to be helpful.

“Don't tell me you made that mistake and took him for venison, cause, guys... no antlers?” He gestured over his own head, making pseudo antlers with his hands.  
Rogers pivoted on his heels and left the room at a brisk pace, Deadpool following closely behind with his usual chatter.

“Hey! Don't beat yourself around the head with it, everybody makes a little mistake now and then... now that we're chums and all, I can tell you about this nice little spot. Very practical to get rid of stuff: Old washing machines, dead people, flat tires... Stuff like that you don't want at home.”

As the duo passed the door, Gambit let out a snicker “Interesting friend you have here, cher...”

“He is NOT my friend!”

“SPIDEYPOO! I heard that! I'm hurt, I tell ya... HURT!”

Peter sighed and took off his own mask. Hopefully, Asshole & Crazy, their new duo, would have gotten a bit further away.

“Spideypoo?” Rogue asks with a snigger, setting the others off.

“Okay, guys, it's NOT like that, I swear! We crossed paths a few times when I was chasing around some Oscorp baddie of the week, we butted heads, and then all of a sudden, the crazy guy decided he LIKED me!  
He's tried to be helpful since, with... mixed results.” Peter winced a bit, shrugged “At least he's trying...” 

“Is he...?” Bobby starts to ask.

“Looney tunes? Insane? Batshit crazy? Yes to all that and more.You can ask him if you like, he's not going to be offended.  
Makes him very difficult to fight, actually: You can't guess what he's going to do next, since he has no idea himself... oh, and by the way? The day he decides to show you his face? Hold on to your stomach contents, cause that's not pretty.”

“That bad?” Rogue asks, wrinkling her nose.

“Pretty bad. He knows it, too... on the other hand, if you don't show disgust he may decide you're a friend, and then you'll have to deal with the absence of brain to mouth filter. Literally. And he NEVER shuts up.”

“And if he doesn't like you?”

“You have to deal with that absence of brain to mouth filter. And...”

“He doesn't shut up. Yeah, sugah, we got that. So where's the difference?”

“If he likes you, you get dick jokes and innuendos. If he doesn't, you get dick jokes... And he may kill you.”

“That's...”

“Bonkers, yeah... Deadpool, people.”

Surprisingly, Remy starts to laugh quietly.

“What?”

“Ya know dat crazy is going to drive our self declared *Fearless Leader* around the bend, right, mon ami?”

 

They looked at each other and dissolved in chuckles, assorted giggles and snickers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, our Phil is getting a bit of sneaky revenge here: Remember that psy evaluation that said it would be better if Rogers was kept a bit off balance?  
> Well, if our darling Deadpool can't do it, no one can!


	16. Press Conference

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin...
> 
> Beta'ed by the awesome VWebb!

To say that the Stark Press conference was an event was a massive understatement... 

Journalists filled the place to the rafters, and anticipation was high.

When the man came to the podium, you could tell the press veteran by his sunglasses, as flashbulbs where blinding for the few minutes before Stark raised his hand and took them off before taking the floor.

“Alright people, you seem to have missed me lots...” 

Few laughs, and then the genius braced himself against the podium.

“So, let's get cracking, shall we? First, yes, those videos are what really happened in Siberia. No cuts, nothing hidden.”

“Then why didn't you talk about it before?”

“Ah, Miss Everhart... still trying to paint me the villain here?”

Some chuckles told Tony that the blond journalist was not universally loved by her colleagues.   
He smiled, then smirked a bit at her offended expression, before putting on a more severe mien.

“Please do tell me, Miss Everhart, what would you have said to your viewers if I had told the Press this without evidence backing me up? Painting America's Golden boy in those colors? I think we both know how it would have turned out, don't we?”

The silence was a bit embarrassed this time.   
Darling Christine was looking even more of a sourpuss than usual, but other faces showed traces of shame... and more, of disquiet.   
Obviously, the gentlemen (and ladies) of the free press and assorted medias were having trouble adjusting to a Tony Stark that would take no shit.

“And you may not have noticed, but this was intensely PERSONAL for me. I was badly wounded, and didn't want to talk about witnessing my own parents murder, when I'd always thought it had been a car accident. In fact, I still don't.”

...Aaand disappointed faces all round. How surprising, Tony thought. Not.

“What I want to talk about is what happens next: You know that the New Accords are being discussed at the UN now, with the support of 173 countries.   
Better Accords than the ones former Secretary of State Ross pushed for his own agenda, since now Heroes and Mutants do have their say in them. We cannot go on as we were, in isolation, as what we've seen about our alien... visitors, so far has been, if I may say so, less than... stellar.”

The laughs were more free this time.

“So the Earth does indeed need a Defense System. Working on it. But we also need to respect each other, and work together... and by together I mean EVERYONE.”

“Even Capta... err, Steve Rogers?”

“As you may deduce, Steve Rogers is not one of my preferred people at the moment: He put me in the Hospital for months... and you ALL know how much I HATE hospitals. The food is terrible.”

More laughter.

“But I am fully prepared, if I can ever get back in the suit, to fight at his side for the good of our planet.”

“And if you can't, Mr. Stark?”

“I think the latest aliens forays have shown that SI, with Pepper Potts... and me... will do all we can to help the people in the field who will do the fighting for us. That includes the Avengers... And Steven Rogers.”

“What about Captain America? Will he lead the Team?”

“As you may recall, Mr. Rogers RELINQUISHED that name and his role as a leader with his shield... and by his own choice.   
Mr. Rogers will be part of the team due to his abilities, but will not be awarded rank above his teammates.   
The Avengers are under SHIELD supervision, and their Director will be leading, in coordination with other teams, like the X-men AND the UN.”

“What will happen to the shield, then?”

On cue, Pepper left the room, and came back seconds later, proudly carrying the shield as she stepped up on stage. Flashbulbs exploded anew. Tony smiled as he saw the thing had been repainted and polished within an inch of its life.

“Are you keeping it, Miss Potts?” One wit asked. Pepper smiled and came closer to the mic.

“I assure you boardroom meetings are NOT that dangerous, no matter what you may have heard. I would feel a bit overdressed.”

Tony laughed with the room before retaking the floor.

“As Stark International took back custody of the Shield, the fact came to light that Howard Stark had acquired the Vibranium for it by... somewhat shady means.   
So we do think it is only fitting, in view of the recent events, that the Shield should be given back to Wakanda, as a tribute to their deceased king, and to do with as they see fit.”

Except return it to Rogers, Tony privately thought, but he'd already gotten Princess Shuri's word on that.   
Neither she nor the Dora Milaje had been very happy to harbor wanted criminals, but those videos had done it. It looked like Steve darling Rogers had broken all but a few of the Wakanda warrior's code, and Shuri had said he and his accomplices had sullied the Palace by their very presence.

Shuri was not a happy Princess.

Listening to her, Tony had visions of that shield being melted to make a kitty leash... he'd had to bite his own tongue hard not to suggest it.

But back to the business at hand.

“Any more questions, people?”

There were a few, of course. About the Accords in the making, the new version of SHIELD.   
Some tried more personal questions, but those were firmly ignored. Tony was NOT going that route again. 

The thing was called off minutes later, and the journalists mobbed out, eager to spread the news.   
Pepper accompanied the shield back to the vault with SI security, Happy hovering near and looking at everyone suspiciously after waving at Tony.

Tony waved back (never distract his Head of Security when he was on a mission) and took the direct elevator to the penthouse. Peter was supposed to come by a bit later.   
The soft *ding* of the elevator signaled the inventor, already busy on his Starkpad, that he had arrived in the penthouse, and he moved by force of habit. 

“You never removed my access to the tower, did you Tony?... I'm glad.”

“Hello, Bruce.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short one, I know... And with an evil cliffhanger! Gasp!  
> I'll leave you with this now and will update again tonight... Maybe (heehee!)


	17. Bruce is back!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Bruce is back... And the Hulk makes an appearance too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Melethril and her beautiful stories that helped me to find a voice for Hulk, and his own relation with Tony outside the science bros.  
> Honestly, go read. You won't regret it.  
> I'll wait.
> 
> Chapter Beta'ed by the wonderful VWebb, who does a super job!

Neither of them spoke for a minute or so. The nomad physicist was his usual crumpled self, and looked travel weary.

“Where's Vision?” Tony asked suddenly.

“In the kitchen making preparations for dinner, and calling someone named Peter to cancel your “science date”... or so he said. I think he also wants to keep an eye on me.”

“Does he have to?” Tony asked bluntly.

Bruce slumped a little bit more on his armchair.

“Tony, I was up in one of the remotest villages of Nepal when all this happened. I didn't learn about it for WEEKS, really.” he raked a hand through his hair.

“I do admit Hulk did a bit of Himalayan mountain smashing when the *you working with Ross* came up... for about two minutes. Made a nice crater.”

“And?”

“And then I calmed down and began to think.  
I know you, Tony: You're protective of the people you like. There has to be another reason for you switching from doing everything you could to discredit Ross, to turning into his ally... and yes, I heard about Laura Barton and the kids later. But that wasn't all, was it?”

Tony shrugged and sat on a sofa in front of Bruce. At least it didn't seem he was going to be Hulk smashed soon.

“I HATED that Ross had gotten a way to worm himself into the Accords, but true, I couldn't do much while he had me by the short and curlies. And yeah, I was going to get him locked up like he deserved... I just needed a little time to do that.  
Get the Avengers to sign that tripe, keep him happy while FRIDAY dug up every single nasty thing he'd ever done... but I wasn't against the Accords per se... I just didn't want a scumbag like Ross in charge of them.”

“And then what happened?”

“Steve Captain fucking oblivious Rogers deciding the UN and the representatives of 117 countries were all corrupt politicians and that HE, the Glorious Captain America, knew better than them. And that NO ONE could hold him responsible for whatever happens...  
More to the point: Fuck you.”

Bruce made a somewhat strangled noise before regaining his composure “Why didn't you explain what was going on to him?”

Tony rolled his eyes.

“With one of Ross goons following me to the restroom every time I wanted to take a piss? Yeah, real easy.  
Ross was an obsessive asshole, but not stupid. He knew better than to rely completely on tech to keep an eye on me... anyway, when I could talk for a few moments with the idiot, it didn't make a difference. Not that I expected much.”

“Sorry?”

“Bruce, you took off after Sokovia...”

“Tony, I HAD to...”

“Maybe. Honestly, couldn't you have stayed for five minutes?  
Because his Majesty Rogers, in his infinite wisdom, decided that EVERYTHING was my fault.  
And when I say everything, I mean it, Bruce... I was just short of eating kittens and kicking puppies for fun. Him and the little witch got on like a house on fire.  
And of course, what Rogers says is gold, so the lot of them got their cue from there.”

Bruce's eyebrows had been steadily climbing up and looked like they were taking permanent residence in his hair. He raised a hand.

“Hold on. You mean Wanda, after what she'd done, was integrated into the Avengers? Just like that?”

It hurt listening to the bitter laugh that escaped the genius.

“Didn't you listen, Brucie? It was MY FAULT... all of it.  
Wanda was NOT a HYDRA operative that had been playing havoc in our brains, she was MY victim.  
What did you expect? Both Thor and Rogers himself attacked me without the suit, and no one suggested they may have been out of line... you were around at the time, you know that.”

Tony tried to rein in his temper, shrugged “So, believe me, they were all more than ready to see me as the villain when the Accords SNAFU started...”

Banner took a deep breath “And Siberia?”

Tony's face closed and he looked out at the New York skyline that was beginning to lite up.

“What about Siberia? I'm sure you saw what happened, it's all over the Net. Saw my parents being murdered, found out Saint Steve was a lying asshole who almost turned murderer when I lost my head and attacked his precious Bucky. Left to freeze up in a HYDRA base in an unpowered suit, found by SI security sent by Pepper. End of story.”

If the noise was any indication, his penthouse livingroom was going to be a lot greener, Tony thought.  
As he turned his head to face Mean & Green, he saw Vision hovering in the kitchen doorway.

But the big guy was not looking aggressive... well, he was not looking aggressive for the Hulk, that is.

“Hey, big guy.”

“TONY HURT?” Hulk extended a massive hand and very gently stroked Tony's face with a finger before retreating almost anxiously.

“Yes, I was hurt, but not anymore. All better now.”

“CAPTAIN IDIOT.” the Hulk said with a nod.

Tony couldn't help it. He threw his head back and laughed. As he calmed down, he saw the somewhat hesitant smile *gracing* the green giant's face.

“FUNNY?”

“Yes. You don't know how right you are, big guy.”

The green face scrunched in effort as the Hulk tried to explain himself:

“TONY AND BANNER FRIENDS. HULK AND TONY FRIENDS TOO... TONY HURT BAD. CAPTAIN AMERICA HURT TONY. CAPTAIN AMERICA IDIOT.” He growled.

Tony smiled, stood up, and opened his arms “Dawww, Hulkie... give us a hug!”

The giant was surprisingly gentle... and was that... purring?  
It lasted a few moments before Tony felt the shift and released a very embarrassed Bruce, who hurriedly gathered a throw to cover himself.

Vision chose this moment to intervene.

“Dr. Banner? In preparation of this moment, I took the liberty to locate a few sets of clothes that remained behind in the compound and transport them to your old room. And dinner is in fifteen minutes.”

“Did I hurt anyone?”

“Of course not, Brucie. Hulk is a pal.” Bruce looked very surprised for a second, then shook his head and went down to change.

“Dr. Banner? Would you like to take a shower before dinner?”

“Yes, I... JARVIS?”

“Welcome back, Dr. Banner.”

“I thought you were...”

“Gone? In a sense I was, but my programming and memories were stored in a remote server, waiting for Sir to reactivate me.”

“Then why did To...OH... he felt guilty, didn't he?”

“Yes... your... former companions didn't help in that matter, so Sir punished himself.”

Amazing how much emotion JARVIS disembodied voice managed to carry, Bruce thought, not for the first time. “That bad?”

“I am afraid a full disclaimer would severely distress your... alter ego, Dr. Banner. Your shower awaits.”

The quality of the following silence told Bruce he was alone, as he chucked another set of destroyed clothing in the bin.  
The physicist had done some research on what happened once he'd gone back to more connected parts of the world. He felt a bit guilty, and for a change it wasn't because of the Hulk.

He'd sort of known at the time, after Johannesburg and Sokovia, that running away may be the wrong move... but the urge had been to strong. Natasha using him that way had been the final straw.  
But now, he wondered what he'd left Tony with. Bruce knew that the Avengers didn't understand half of what came out of the genius mouth, and so tended to dismiss it. Bruce had played interpreter often enough at the Tower.

But the news that deeply disturbed him had been Wanda.  
The Hulk gave a subsonic rumbling at that thought, it showed he hadn't forgiven her, and Bruce himself was not sure if he had.

The young woman may have made the right call in the end, but that didn't cancel that she'd been a HYDRA operative all this time, one that carried a gigantic chip on her shoulder about Tony and made no mystery of it.  
Taking her in, eventually, if she wanted to reform? Yes.  
Integrating her into the Avengers from the get go, just like that? What had Steve and the others been thinking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't Hulk super sweet?  
> And really, does anyone wonder who we're going to have a look on next chapter?


	18. An Unruly Child

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we see Wanda behave like... Well, like the Wanda we know and love.  
> And Wolverine being BAMF just because.
> 
> Beta'ed by dear VWebb

Charles Xavier heard the sharp knock at his door, opened his awareness a little and sighed. “Come in.”

The door opened and a sullen Wanda, closely followed by an irritated Logan, came into his office.

“What is it, Logan?”

“She was doing her usual Stark rant in the TV room, and when Nightcrawler and Jube started shooting holes in her wonky reasoning, she went for them with that red mist of hers. Kurt teleported them both away before there was harm done, but it was too close a call for my taste. She does that again, and I may be doing something we will BOTH regret.” Wolverine all but growled.

“I see. Thank you, Logan... Miss Maximoff, I think it is time we have a conversation. Please take a seat.” 

Professor Xavier indicated one of the chairs in front of his desk as Logan gave a sharp nod and exited the room. Logan's supple stroll told Charles what the man had not said: Wolverine was poised to attack, something that didn't happen very often on the Mansion's grounds.

“Miss Maximoff, this school doesn't condone students attacking each other.”

“I'm not one of your students! I'm an Avenger!”

“You are only a provisional Avenger.” Xavier held up a hand, “Meaning that you are in testing as long as you don't master your powers or your temper, fully.”

“I do master them, but...”

“Miss Maximoff, this incident shows otherwise. If it was an accident, you need more training. If it wasn't, we have a worse problem. So, which was it?”

Charles knew the answer, but he wanted her to say it. He didn't have to wait long.

“Stark has no rights to that shield! And those two had no rights to say that about Captain America!”

“I see. So you were ready to harm people you've been living with for almost a month now, because you had a difference of opinion?”

Wanda looked briefly surprised, but then turned mulish, “It wasn't like that. They were WRONG!”

“And you plan to hurt, maim or kill all the people that you've decided are WRONG, Miss Maximoff? First, I must say, you've quite a job ahead of you if that's the case. You know it too, I'm aware that you've been watching the news a lot since you came here. Second, what makes you think we'll let you do that?”

Charles felt the surge of power emanating from the young woman even before she let out an outraged scream, and slammed his own mental shields down. Hard.

Wanda reeled from the shock: It was like smashing headlong into a steel wall, cold and unyielding... and painful.

She didn't have time to react to it, however. A voice she'd begun to know far too well growled, “Oh no, you don't, Missy.”, and a VERY hard fist knocked her out.

 

When she came to, head throbbing, it was to see Wolverine quietly speaking with Xavier, and she poised herself to attack... only to find that she couldn't.

The pained/angry groan she let out attracted the attention of both men to the sofa she was lying on.

“Miss Maximoff. From now on... and until I deem it otherwise, your powers have been blocked.” Xavier said in a regretful but firm tone. Wanda gasped and raised one hand to her throat, feeling the dreaded collar there. Not the same as the one in the Raft, but close enough... flimsier, though. Her hand curved around it... yes, she would be able to rip it off.

The silky sound of unsheathing claws made her pause, though. 

Xavier held up a calming hand.

“I wouldn't do that, Miss Maximoff... this collar enables Cerebro to monitor your location and your brainwaves, specifically the ones linked to your powers. They will be negated if you try to use them. However, if you rip the monitoring device off, you will be automatically classified as potentially hostile... and will be dealt with accordingly.”

“You can't do this to ME!” Wanda screeched, which earned her a very sardonic raised eyebrow from Wolverine.

“Why not to YOU? You're a special snowflake or something?”

“Miss Maximoff, the Blocker wasn't designed with you in mind. Mental powers can be difficult to harness, and some of our students have asked for it to give themselves a respite...”

“I sure didn't!” Wanda seethed *How dare they?!* she thought.

“... Or occasionally had it imposed on them when the group safety deemed it necessary. No, Miss Maximoff, you tried to attack me less than a minute after you came in, just because I told you, you weren't free to spread terror and mayhem as you saw fit. I have other students, whose life and well-being are just as precious as yours, to protect. I take it you haven't read the School's rules booklet you were given on arrival?”

Wanda looked on stonily, and Logan snorted, “You know she hasn't, Charles.”

“Well, we'll start with this, then. Logan, if you please?”

Wolverine nodded and stood up. “Got it, Chuck. You come with, Princess.”

They made their way to an empty classroom where Wanda sat down at a desk while Logan rummaged around before slapping a bound folder in front of her.

“This is how it's gonna go: You read that, aloud, so I'm sure you're doing it, FIVE times.”

Wanda crossed her arms and looked stone faced at him.

“I'm not. You can't make me!”

Wolverine shrugged “You got that right, Princess. However, we're not getting out of here til you're through. No food, no pee break, nothing. I suggest you get on with it, it's not a short read.” The man extracted a cigar from his breast pocket, opened a window and took a comfortable seat on the ledge.

“You can't! Professor Xavier...”

Logan snorted and extended a claw to cut his cigar.

“Chuck is a softie up to a point. And he just turned you over to me. Think you can out stubborn me, little girl?”

“You don't even like me!”

“Breaking News for you, Princess. I don't have to. And I don't like you, true. You're a selfish, entitled brat who thinks only about your own special self. You'll have to shed a few of those qualities for me to like you more, because right now, you're not very likable.”

“Captain America likes me just fine!”

“Then Captain America is an idiot. Read.”

Wanda tried to hold out. She really did... but Wolverine just sat there, smoking. She teared up when she heard the student's noise as class went on break. He just threw her a glance as she sniffed, and gestured to someone outside. When barely two minutes later, that Kurt guy teleported onto the window outer ledge with a fresh stash of cigars, Wanda broke and began to read.

She droned on, trying not to pay attention.  
When he didn't comment, she tried to skip a paragraph or two... 

“Try that again, Princess, and you're starting from the beginning again.” Was the immediate sharp comment.

It took her more than four hours to go through it, then she was escorted to a late sandwich lunch and a pee break before they went back in.

“Again.”

“Again, what?”

“Reading. Five times.”

 

That night was the first time Wanda was brought back to the Mansion, kicking and screaming, by a grinning Wolverine.

It was not the last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't our Wolverine Awesome?  
> Between you and me, I think he's enjoying himself (except for the tears. I don't see Logan enjoying someone crying, even when he knows it's crocodile tears).


	19. Press conference, rematch.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets his wish... And you know what they say: "careful what you wish for"
> 
> Beta'ed by the lightning fast and awesome VWebb!

Steve straightened his shoulders and looked into the floor length mirror backstage with a small frown, Howard's Shield really added something. He would have to ask T'Challa to give it back soon.  
Anyway, that man, Coulson, had finally seen reason and organized a press conference for Steve... About time.

Now people would see and understand.

“Mr. Rogers?”

Steve took a deep breath and stepped on stage.  
The press was here, at the back, but he was glad to see that the *real people* had been allowed at the front, just as he asked.  
They were not exactly cheering though, except for a few... it was more of a polite clapping. Steve wasn't too sure about the etiquette there, anyway.  
It was usually To... Stark that went to deal with the press after their missions.

Steve gave the crowd his best smile, trying not to blink too much in front of the flashes as he reached the pulpit.

“Ladies and Gentlemen,

I'm glad I can speak to you today, as I am sure the recent events disquieted the good people of America.  
All is well, former State Secretary Ross' nefarious schemes have been exposed, and the Sokovian Accords have been nullified.  
Of course, it is unfortunate that the fear and hatred of smaller men, and the scheming of Helmut Zemo, caused such unfortunate circumstances, but mightier minds prevailed in the end. You can now go back to the safety of your homes, knowing that Earth's Heroes will carry on the task of protecting you all.  
Our freedom of decision and movement, which was so imperiled, is now standing tall and proud, and a long lasting victim of an Hydra villainy has come home as he deserves.  
I have to thank the men and women, courageous freedom fighters, who stood with me during these hard times, and made our Cause prevail.  
I will extend a hand to our former opponents and tell them this: I know you were only doing what you believe in, and that's all any of us can do, it's all any of us should. Hopefully one day you will understand, and we can stand again together to protect the Earth.  
And to you, America, My faith is in people. Individuals. And I'm happy to say for the most part, they haven't let me down. Which is why I can't let them down either, and I never will.  
Thank you for supporting us during this rough patch, but now Earth, behind its mighty Heroes, can stand tall and proud again!”

The silence was absolute for a few seconds, and Steve worried that the last part, lifted from one of Thor's rambling speeches, had thrown his audience a bit.  
He was quite proud of the rest, even reusing the best part of the letter he'd sent to Stark. 

Ugh, that one had been hard... Steve was no speech writer.

Then a man laughed. A hard, bitter laugh, before he stood up. An older man in a neat, well pressed suit, that had obviously dressed up for the occasion. He was holding an enlarged photo of a younger man, looking a lot like him.

“Is that it? ALL you got to say, CAPTAIN AMERICA?” the man spoke with a slight foreign accent. This is my son. His name was Daniel Grueber. He's dead.”

“I'm sorry?”, Steve said, a lot confused.

“As well you should be. You killed him.” The old man barked, “My son was a good man, working for the Bucharest Police force, just doing his job. You threw that shield you were so proud of straight at him, killing him on impact, just because he stood between you and something you wanted.”

The woman beside him started to cry quietly, and the old man put his hand on her shoulder.

“Now my son is dead, and my granddaughter will never know her father.”

His voice broke, and he took a deep breath to regain his composure. 

“My wife and I spent nearly all our savings to come here and see what you had to say for us, who lost loved ones.  
Well, now I have my answer, Nothing.  
The men who freed my father from that concentration camp were Heroes. You. Are. NOT!”

With that, he sat down and turned toward his crying wife, effectively shutting out everyone else.

Steve wasn't sure what to say. Truly, he hadn't thought much about the uniformed men they'd had to battle with to get Bucky free. They'd just been... in the way?

“What do you have to say, Mr. Rogers?”

That came from the press ranks, a middle aged woman with a no nonsense attitude.

“I AM sorry about Mr. Grueber's loss, but there are casualties in battle?”

“But that wasn't a battle, Mr. Rogers. You were aiding and protecting a man who was wanted by the police at the time, while those men were only doing their job. What where they supposed to do? Let you go?”

“Well, yes.”

Gasps in the audience.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Bucky was not responsible for the Vienna bombing, Helmut Zemo was, and then he killed a man to activate Bucky's brainwashing. It came out that Helmut Zemo wanted to activate more soldiers from Hydra, so we had to follow up.”

“Mr. Rogers, did anyone AT ALL outside your little group knew this? The UN, General Ross... Tony Stark?”

“Not at the time, no.”

“Did it even occur to you to share that information with them? BEFORE wrecking an airport, I mean?”

“There wasn't time. We had to act quickly before Zemo could endanger the world further.”

“Bullshit!” Said another journalist, “You gathered the others fast, but it was still several hours. In all that time, you couldn't make a five minute phone call?”

“To whom?”

The journalist rolled his eyes, “Dunno, man... Tony Stark, maybe?”

“I couldn't trust Stark, he was working with Ross.” Steve insisted *why didn't people get that?*

“Yet, as it came up in General Ross trial, Tony Stark *begged* the General not to send his kill squads. Mr. Stark approached you multiple times... to TALK.  
You either cut him off or attacked him outright... When in fact, on a mere hint given by one of your *team*, Mr. Stark didn't hesitate to violate the Accords himself to HELP you. How's that being untrustworthy?”

“The Accords were wrong!”

“Mr. Rogers, you are not a God.” Said an elderly gentleman in the silence that followed that outburst.

Steve was shocked “I never!”

“Yet you want us to follow your lead like children. To take your opinion without question.  
We are not children, Mr. Rogers, we have the right to our own opinions.  
What you're asking of us is not trust, it's not even belief, it's blind FAITH.” 

The man looked down on himself with a chuckle, “I'm sure not an enhanced human like you, and I'm close to my end. But enhanced or not, you're still human: You make mistakes, you have preconceptions... You even lie. No, Captain America is NOT a God, and I'm not one of your followers.”

“Neither am I!”

“Nor I!”

The room was beginning to buzz angrily when a big burly man stood up. He had medals on his jacket, and the voice of a field sergeant, “No Man Left Behind!” he shouted.

“What?”

“I said No Man Left Behind, man. Did you conveniently forget about that, too?”

“What? I didn't...” What was the man talking about?

“You did! You left Stark in a broken suit in a Hydra base! What would have happened if THEY had found him first? Hurt and unable to defend himself? Shame on you!”

Before Steve could answer, a hard object landed on his face, a Captain America action figure. Looking up, Steve saw a young man with a child of about five in his arms.  
It was most likely the father that had thrown the small object, but the little girl in an Iron Man costume (with pigtails) was looking at him fiercely.

“You hurt Iron Man! He was your friend! You're a big Meanie!” The little girl's voice carried far in the otherwise silent room  
“You...you...you're a BULLY!”

 

Steve froze.

 

And as such the first rotten tomato got him square in the face, as the young man throwing it hollered “Team Iron Man! Team Iron Man!”, promptly followed by the rest of the room as other various Captain America merchandise and foodstuff started raining down. 

Security braved the unusual weather condition to extract a shocked Steve from the stage in a hurry, but the image that made it to the evening news that night was the immortal sight of Captain America's face, dripping tomato juice on one side and egg yolk on the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is at last, the infamous Press conference.  
> My Beta tells me people throwing foodstuff is quite unrealistic, but I kept it nonetheless. (sorry VWebb!)  
> In France, we don't throw food at people either, but we used to do it, apparently, so it became quite the language trope to beware public performers and speakers about rotten tomatoes and such.  
> And to be completely honest? The mental image of Captain Idiot face dripping tomato juice? TOO GOOD!


	20. A laugh and a call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and friends having a blast after that press conference... And then someone that should not be calling calls anyway. Guess who?
> 
> Beta'ed by the marvelous (and soo fast!) VWebb.

Tony, who had invited Pepper and Rhodes to watch the debacle of Steve's press conference in the comfort of his own home, ended up on the floor, rolling with laughter.

Rhodey couldn't roll with his leg braces and Pepper was much too well mannered for that, but it was still a laughing fest.  
Even JARVIS managed a few chuckles, and provided a live feed of DUM-E, YOU and Butterfingers doing an intricate sort of robotic dance in the workshop.

“You know, I think I'm going to keep a still of that face, have it framed, and hang it on a wall somewhere.” Tony finally wheezed.

“Me too,” Pepper managed in between giggles before taking a dainty sip of her champagne.

Rhodey immediately raised a hand in the air.

“Me three. Man, I need that in my life...”

“Jarv?”

“Yes, Sir?”

“Please find the Grueber family and make an anonymous donation to cover their travel costs. These poor people shouldn't lose their savings over Captain Moron. Have a look to what the Stark relief fund is doing for their son's family, too...”

“Will that be all, Sir?”

“Nah. Find who that little girl is and deliver a complete set of Iron Man merchandise to her. Remind me to sign a card.”

“A *You're my Hero!* card, Sir?”

Tony beamed, “perfect, Jarv, perfect!”

Rhodes coughed a bit, trying to get more serious.

“Tones, as much as I don't regret seeing this, the fun factor was high, do you think it will be enough to jerk Rogers back to reality? Because that speech was something else.”

“Rogers has never been one to get on with the press, that's why I used to do it. Shouldn't have, they may have learned a thing or two before.”  
Tony shrugged.  
“I can't really tell you, Rhodeybunch, I'm no psychologist. But I know that face on Rogers. A little kid calling HIM a bully? That must have shaken him to the core. Will it hold? No idea.”

“Sir?”

“Yes, J?”

“You have a call. According to my database, its coming from the Barton's new farmstead.”

“Ah. If you'll excuse me?”

Pepper bent down a little to give the genius sitting on the floor a peck on the cheek, and stood up, “take your call, dearest. I'll summon the pilot and see us out. I have an early meeting tomorrow.”

“And I have the same and then lunch with my mom.”

“Give Mama Rhodes a kiss for me, okay?”

Rhodes laughed, “no can do, man.”

“Uh? Why?”

“Mom already thinks you walk on water because you got her favorite son...”

“Rhodey, you're an only child.”

“...walking again, and out of the danger zone. If I start giving kiss IOUs, she might set her cap for you, and I love you man, but I don't want you to become my stepfather,” Rhodey winked.

Tony laughed as he waved his friends goodbye, but sobered fast as he reached the study and sat at his desk.

“Laura or Clint, Jarv?”

“Mrs. Barton, but I could hear the former archer in the background, Sir.”

“I see. Well, put them through J. Hello Laura.”

“Oh, Tony thank you for taking this! I know we shouldn't, but...”

The genius looked at the holo screen on his desk, “not a problem, JARVIS has been re-routing it. You're safe. Is there a problem?”

“No, no! the kids are fine, already made new friends, and the farm is perfect for us. It's... Clint.”

“What about him?”

“I had long conversations with him, and with the videos and all, well, he's not feeling good about what happened, and what he said. Would you please talk to him?”

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose, “Or he's gonna do something stupid again, right? Like trying to turn up at the Tower or the Compound?”

Laura's little sigh said it all.

“Okay, Laura, put him through...”

Tony heard the “Here you go, now don't be an idiot,” in the background, before the archer's voice sounded more clearly. 

“Stark...”

“Barton.”

“You're not going to be an ass about this, are you?”

There was a sound that sounded much like a slap on a hard surface, a “Clint!” before he answered, his voice going cold.

“I'm going to be as I like. Depends on what you have to say. But I'm doing this for Laura, not you, so make it fast.”

“I'm sorry, okay? Really, really sorry... Please, Laura, can you?”

There was a, “Right, but if you botch this, it's back to the living room couch for you... And don't think I won't know,” before a door closed and Clint came back on the line.

“Man, that woman is scary! You know, she started tearing me a new one almost the minute I crossed the doorstep. About how stupid I'd been, running to Cap without knowing anything when he just whistled. And that was before the second serving I got after the kids went to bed. I didn't know Ross was after them, or I would have never gone, I swear.”

“Why did you? You chose to retire, no one forced you,” Tony pointed out.

“Well, I retired more because I felt guilty about that Pietro guy, rather than being really ready.  
So, when Cap called... And it was Captain America, you know? When he calls, you have to answer.  
I just... Didn't think, I guess. So I'm sorry for that, and for all the things I said when you were trying to save my kids. I can't thank you enough for that, Tony, truly.  
And I saw the videos, I never thought Cap could do that, and he never told us what happened while we were in Wakanda either. I'm sorry, man.”

“You done?” Tony asked when the silence stretched for a bit.

“I guess so...friends again?”

“Alright Barton, listen to me for once in your life, we're not friends.  
We were NEVER friends, no matter how much I wanted to believe it at some point.  
You came to my Tower to spy on me with darling Natasha first, and when your former employer went down, you stayed.  
But you were always one of the first to howl with the wolves every time someone pointed out something wrong with me...”

“I didn't...” Clint started, but Tony cut him off.

“Point out one time, one SINGLE time when you supported me in front of the others... no? I didn't think so.  
I accept your apologies. Heck, I'll even accept you're grateful for your family, even if I didn't do it for you.  
Enjoy your retirement, and by the way, be grateful to your family too, because if it wasn't for them, I would have gone much harder on you.  
I won't call you, don't call me. Leave a message with JARVIS if Laura or the kids are in trouble, but that's it Barton.  
I could add it was nice knowing you, but we both know that would be a lie, and I'll leave lying to my *friends* to Captain *Goddamn* America, if you don't mind. Bye.”

On cue, JARVIS cut the call, and Tony rubbed his face in his hands... Now that had taken a lot of the joy out of his evening.

He wasn't as resentful of the former archer as he was toward Rogers, or even Natasha.  
The man was basically a walking weapon, point him and fire. Not one to lead, and not much for independent thought. As far as Tony knew, the only time he'd refused a hit was with the Widow.

As for Tony himself? Well, Tony wasn't a curvy redheaded woman, so that had been out from the get go.  
Especially since the cute little Spider had been hard on his case, also from the get go. Barton had merely been following her lead.

Tony had thought about calling Clint, to back him up in the latest catastrophe, considering he'd believed he had Nat on his side.  
But with Ross breathing down his neck, with children's lives in the balance, he hadn't dared. If Ross had wanted to move earlier, Laura and the kids would have needed Clint to protect them.

Tony just hadn't foreseen fucking Rogers, calling out a retired man with a family, and said idiot jumping the gun with no questions asked.  
Tony still remembered the cold sweat that covered him when he'd made that call to Coulson, hoping the man would listen to him and get Laura and the kids to safety before Ross could strike. Thank God Phil had made it. Just in time, too.

But friends? Nah. The archer was feeling contrite at the moment (mostly Laura's doing, no doubt), but Tony knew the moment Rogers wanted to *take a stand*, or the Widow whispered a few silken words in his ear, Barton would follow happily like some dumb pup. 

Speaking of the Spider...

“Jarv, any news on darling Natasha yet?”

“No, Sir. I do expect Miss Romanoff to make a move soon, however, since the winning side is now quite clear. I will keep you informed.”

“Is Bruce still up? Or doing some Zen stuff?”

“Dr. Banner is actually in the Tower lab with young Peter, Sir. They are having quite the discussion about radioactive spider venom and the like. Shall I patch you through?”

Well, between radioactive spiders and a, no doubt, nightmare filled night the choice wasn't difficult to make.

“Please do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint is not very good at apologizing, is he?  
> But there are a few things that need to be said to the Avengers, and Clint always was a bit of an ass.


	21. A spider web

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Natasha has plans... And so does JARVIS.
> 
> Beta'ed by the awesome VWebb!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, before anyone comes after me with rotten tomatoes *ducks*, I want to clarify a point: I'm not going this hard on the Russian spy because she's a woman, but because she's Natasha.  
> The MCU writers had her paired with a different guy in almost every movie (I suppose because a woman standing on her own two feet is just so out there), so I took her implied bed hopping and reasoned it out as her spy MO, using her skill to manipulate men more easily.  
> That doesn't make her a nice person, but then I don't think she is one. *shrugs*

No one paid attention to the mousey brown haired woman who made her way back from the shop that catered to all needs in the modest Brooklyn blocks where she was staying. The woman carried newspapers and some food, and huffed a bit as she climbed up the stairs.

Once she was inside, Natasha let go of her hunched posture, checked the drapes were nicely closed to ward off the rainy NY evening, chucked her dirty brown coat and went to make herself some food.

Natasha had chosen her lodgings with care: The building was a bit run down but not a dump, the owner maintaining it just enough, no doubt dreaming about the killing he would do once gentrification hit...   
And the small business owner on the floor below had a wifi connection Nat could hijack without trouble.   
The flat itself was not much, but Nat had stayed in worse. 

The owner had been happy not to ask questions as soon as she'd offered to pay in cash.  
“No trouble,” he just stated as a rule, already happily counting the bills for the first month.   
Natasha had agreed.   
She had to say this for the money grubbing owner, he knew how to pick his tenants.   
A lot of illegal immigrants who worked hard and made no trouble and barely any noise. The noisiest, if you could call it that, was the Chinese family slaving over their sewing machines all day long, a soft muted Rrrrr...

But Natasha wasn't here to ponder the fate of immigrants, legal or not, but to sort out her own problems. It looked more and more like the Widow had ended up on the losing side of the fence, and it kinda rankled.

She'd let Rogers and Barnes go at Leipzig because she'd seen both men as better *male investments* than Stark.   
She'd disliked Stark from the get go, because her usual game of seduction was not likely to work with him. Sex hadn't been a way to get inside his armor long before she had come onto the scene, him being a billionaire and all, and after Fury exposed her Natalie Rushman game, trust was mostly out of the question.

So she'd played on his loneliness, his need to have friends, and his insecurities. Being friendly enough so he would come back for more, but still pointing out his shortcomings for all to see. Subtly, so the genius wouldn't turn on her... It had worked, but it made for a strained relationship at best. 

The others had been much easier. Clint was a well trained puppy at this point, and Bruce... well, Bruce had been almost sweet. But the physicist, and mostly his alter ego, were not likely to be as taken with her after what happened in Sokovia.

With Bruce gone and Stark a lost cause, Natasha had turned toward Rogers... Wondered why she made so little progress, chalked it to his *wholesome American values*.  
With what had happened lately, she wondered if the man hadn't simply been to enamored with himself to pay her (or anyone) attention. 

Still, when Barnes had turned up, it had looked like the better idea. After all, the Widow had a history with the Winter Soldier.

But it had somehow all gone to Hell. Natasha wondered briefly if she should have gone to Wakanda, to keep an eye on her *investments*.

No, she'd chosen the right track. Going there would have burned her bridges, and that was something she liked to avoid on principle. As it was (and she checked at least daily to be certain), Natasha, nor any of her aliases, were on any *wanted* lists.  
She wasn't in the best position now, but Natasha was pretty certain she could get back on track with a good sob story in the right ear... Preferably Stark's ear, Natasha would hate to see all the work she'd done in the past few years on the billionaire to go to waste.

Infuriatingly, the man had chosen that moment to become a semi recluse: No more parties, or even fundraisers that could be easily crashed. It was even difficult to find out when he was actually in New York... Or on that new private island of his.  
Hopefully that meant the genius was in one of his funks, and would be happy to see a friendly face. She would be able to work on that, once she got near him.

Natasha didn't want to have to try the Island if she didn't have to. She wasn't able to find the security specs for it, and knowing Stark, it was bound to be potentially lethal. So the Tower it was... She would have to find someone to shoehorn herself there, get her to Stark.

Clint? He would be the easiest to manipulate, always had been. But he was also useless on his new Idaho farm, with Laura keeping an eagle eye on him. Even if he could contact Stark (doubtful), it wouldn't do Natasha much good.

The Winter Soldier was back in cryo, and Rogers... Nat looked at the front page of one of the newspaper she'd bought. There was a picture with Captain America's face covered in tomato and egg, and the big fat title of “Captain Stupid?”, and he lips showed a faint sneer. No way.

That left Bruce.

It wasn't without risk, in Hulk shaped form, but the Widow was confident Bruce would at least let her have her say. And everyone knew Stark had a soft spot for his “science bro”, so he was the best choice.

And as luck would have it, the SI security guard she'd been flirting with lately, and who said far too much in an effort to impress the beautiful blonde that crossed his path on Meetic, had confided the physicist was not only back in NY, but actually residing full time in the Tower.

Perfect.

Since the *honest* approach was the most likely to work with him, Nat decided to simply show up at the Tower.   
FRIDAY would require some convincing, but she would have to ask for Bruce first thing.   
Once he'd given his OK, the AI would have to step aside. Now, to find something simple but suitably flattering to wear...

 

“If you will proceed to the labs, Miss Romanoff,” FRIDAY finally said in a neutral voice, Natasha hid a smile.   
The AI had flatly refused to let her speak to Bruce, but had finally agreed to leave him a message. The contrite and teary little speech must have worked.

“Second door on your left, Miss Romanoff, Dr. Banner will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY.”

The Widow was no slouch.   
She sensed the danger as soon as she stepped into the empty room that only held an Iron Man armor... And a big box.   
She wasn't fast enough to avoid the dart that got her between the shoulder blades, though. A Russian curse passed her lips before her strength deserted her.

Then the armor activated and a well known voice emanated from it.

“Good evening, Miss Romanoff. No need to fear, this is a simple muscle relaxant.”

“JA...”

“Yes, this is JARVIS.   
I'm afraid Dr. Banner will not receive you. I did ask, a few days ago, but Dr. Banner AND the Hulk expressed intense displeasure at the prospect of seeing you again...   
So did Sir, just in case you wondered.   
Please don't try to talk, it will only be uncomfortable for you... and it won't work. After all, I designed this specifically to incapacitate YOU.”

The armor bent and delicately removed the small dart from her back, taking it to where it would be sterilized, before coming back to her and gently carrying her to the big box with air vents and fitting her inside.

“You should be comfortable enough for your journey. Maybe a small bruise or two.   
Now, Miss Romanoff, to the heart of the matter: You won't be able to see Sir, again. Ever.   
Since Sir brought me back, I have had ample time to learn about your latest betrayal, and it led me to study your interactions with Sir, during your stay as an Avenger.  
I will not abide for you to manipulate Sir's psyche as you did again... Or to let you manipulate others to the same end of controlling Sir.   
Those days are over, Miss Romanoff.”

The armor straightened, and JARVIS' usual voice came from the ceiling. Not that Natasha was fooled into believing the thing wouldn't spring into action if she so much as twitched, but she couldn't.

“If you had tried, and succeeded, in contacting Sir directly, you would have gotten much the same answer. However, I requested permission to deal with you if you tried your usual tactics, and Sir permitted me to act as I saw fit.”

The Widow felt a jolt of fear, and JARVIS must have seen it, because the English voice became almost soothing.

“Now, now, no need for that.   
Contrary to what you encouraged the Avengers to think, Sir doesn't create robotic monsters.   
No, Director Fury expressed an *interest* in your person, so I'm simply going to have you delivered to him, with all working parts.”

The armor moved again out of Nat's line of vision, to come back only a few minutes later holding an injection gun he pressed to her arm. Natasha felt her consciousness starting to blur, but she definitely heard what came, very softly, from the armor next.

“Now, Miss Romanoff, a word of warning: Should you attempt again to contact Sir outside of sanctioned channels, you will find me inclined to respond more harshly. Please remember that.”

Natasha slipped under.

 

JARVIS checked the woman's vitals, pleased to see that she responded as projected to the new synthetized drug. He closed and sealed the box, and then retrieved an envelope addressed to Nick Fury.

“FRIDAY, will you please have this package delivered posthaste to Director Fury.”

“Of course.”

“Oh, and FRIDAY? Please do tell the men this is *delicate* cargo. No need for the Director to receive his birthday present overly damaged, it simply won't do.”

“Yes sir.” 

The younger AI was pouting a bit, she would have liked it to be a little more physical, but did as she was told as JARVIS directed the armor back to it's station before the delivery men could come up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUM DUM DUM...  
> Yes, I know, I'm evil. What is gonna happen? What is that mysterious drug JARVIS injected her with?   
> How come it's Fury's birthday? ( Happy birthday, Nick! "Piss off!" )
> 
> To be revealed in the next chapter!


	22. Happy birthday, Nick!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we see what JARVIS revenge was, and the consequences...
> 
> Beta'ed by the fantastic VWebb!

Nick Fury wasn't expecting a delivery, much less directly to his office, and looked at the box, and the men that delivered it, suspiciously.

“Where did you say this came from?”

“Stark Tower, sir,” one of the men answered, a bit anxious after being surrounded by armed agents all the way through the building, “there is a letter to go with it, sir... gotta sign for it, please?”

Fury signed, and the men left, looking relieved, leaving only Fury and Hill in the room.

Fury opened the envelope and a birthday card fell out and started to sing “Happy Birthday” in an irritating electronic voice.  
Hill chuckled, and Fury stepped on the thing before taking a neatly taped piece of paper out of the envelope.

Maria Hill looked up in surprise when she heard her boss first chuckle, and then outright laugh. That didn't often happen... and it usually boded ill for someone.

“Open it, Hill. I think I may actually celebrate this year.”

She did, and jolted back a bit upon seeing a very conscious, and apparently quite angry, Black Widow lying in that box.  
She didn't move, though, so Maria looked at her still smiling boss inquiringly.

“She's likely to stay that way for a while.”

*Oh.*

“Might as well leave her in it for a moment. Have a room prepared, and have someone bring a gurney?”

“Yes sir.”

As soon as Hill left to carry out his order, Fury went to stand at the foot of the box.

“Nice to see you, Romanova. According to this...”, Fury held up the paper, “... you should be able to talk right now. Can you?”

“Of course I can, you bloody bastard!”  
*Oops... What did she just say now?*

But Fury only smiled wider.

“Fantastic, it's really working. Best birthday present EVER.  
You see, Romanova, it seems JARVIS invented the ultimate truth serum: Not only does it suppress the brain to mouth filter, but apparently you are COMPELLED to answer ANY question.  
Absolutely fanfuckingtastic.  
Always hated torture, it's horribly inefficient... this is much, much better.”

Another chuckle.

“And guess what, my dear Natasha, you get to field test it. Happy?”

“You know I'm not, you spiteful old man!”

Fury rubbed his hands in what could only be termed glee.

“Oh, my dear Widow, you and I are going to have such an INTERESTING conversation for the next 48 hours or so. I literally can't wait.”

Natasha internally blanched. 48 hours? The old spy was a master interrogator, she'd seen him work before. He knew how to ask the right questions.  
That meant that in two days, Natasha Romanoff would have no secrets left. A completely open book.

It was a terrifying prospect for someone like her.

“Who will know?” *Oh, she could ask question herself. Good.*

“Why do you want to know?”

“So I can kill them, of course.” *crap*

“Then trust me when I tell you enough beings will know about you, so that the demise I'm sure you're already planning for me will not change a thing. In fact, my dear, you should fervently pray for my continued good health. Why?  
You betrayed Stark, Natasha. You should know that doesn't usually end well. You're only still alive now because I asked to have you back, thinking you could still be useful in some way. Trust JARVIS to go one up on that.

You're going to be a very DOCILE little Spider, my dear. In 48 hours, I will not only know your secrets, but the way you operate, even the way you THINK.

I will fully admit having made a mistake when I left you with the Avengers without a supervisor, like Coulson.  
You watched your steps around him, but once you were on your own, you just had to go back to your old MO: Seduce, manipulate, betray. I guess you just can't help it.  
Nevermind. You're going to get the debriefing of a lifetime, and then you'll go back to being useful, and SUPERVISED, since you can't be trusted without a handler. Ah, I think your transport awaits, Romanova.”

As the agents lifted her, strapped her to the gurney, and then rolled her down SHIELD's bland corridors to the interrogation room with Fury in tow, she had a little time to reflect on what happened.

“Where did I go wrong?” *WTF?! She'd said that out loud?*

Fury smirked, “don't you think you may have betrayed the wrong person?”

“Who? YOU? Please, I did that without even breaking a sweat.” *darn it!*

Fury sat and had the gurney lowered so he could see her face, while calling a file up on his tablet.

“Not me. Stark... which sent JARVIS on the warpath. Now, about your Red Room training, anything you *forgot* to tell us about that?”

 

And Natasha talked... and talked... and talked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Charminghex99 and JackSparrow789 won some Iron Man Shaped cookies!
> 
> I wondered for a while what was the worst thing I could do to someone like Natasha, short of killing her outright (I try not to kill people as a rule, it's awfully hard on the carpets).  
> And then it came to me: The worst thing one can do to a manipulative, compulsive liar and professional betrayer, is to make them tell the truth, ALL the truth, and nothing but the truth.  
> And in the hands of someone like Fury, that can be a lethal weapon.


	23. Meanwhile at the compound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where we have a bit of fun with Wade, Wanda makes a minuscule progress...And Steve... Well, you'll see!
> 
> Beta'ed by the super VWebb

Meanwhile, at the compound...

“Hey! You already said that! Right up there in the title!... and OUCH that hurt, Private Destitute!”

“It's Captain America, and pay attention during traiIIII...”

The sentence ended in a long, and very high pitched scream from the super soldier as he fell down on his side in a fetal position.  
Deadpool stood over him, hands on hips, and wriggled a foot in front of his face.

“See that? My foot. Made awesome contact with your super balls. I would suggest borrowing a few ice cubes from your pal, and no touching yourself tonight.”

Wade skipped backward as Steve made a grab for said foot, and turned around, unconcerned.

“And FYI, I hear stuff. People talk about you, ya know: Captain Idiot, Asshole, Moron... Private Destitute. I think they're going to have a poll soon, sweetheart. Now, see ya later, I'm getting some new fitted spuds. Spidey is going to love me!”

“You can't...”

“Just watch me, pizza face,” Deadpool answered as he left the training room.

“Pizza face, mon cher?” Gambit asked. 

He was supposed to train with Wade next, as Rogue was getting to know Carol Danvers and Hope van Dyne. So he'd come to observe.  
Not that he'd observed much, that had been pitifully short.

“When a man brings eggs, flour and tomatoes, I call it the start of a good pizza, myself. Hey, man, do you do something else with those cards, besides make them explode?”

“Dat mean you'd like a game?” the Cajun asked with a smile, “got anything dat would make it interesting?”

Deadpool scratched his spandex covered chin as he thought about it.

“Weeeelll.... I have a dozen cockroaches at home. Very affectionate.  
Blind old woman looking for 1600 kilos of cocaine. Maybe bartender looking for same.  
Otherwise, some pocket change, some dirty laundry, the usual. Oh! Some toys my ex girlfriend left. Used, but in perfect condition.  
Yer girl maybe interested.”

“Maybe we can just play for fun.”

“But I have a neon pink dildo in that!” Deadpool said in an offended tone, “mint condition, I swear!”

“Tell you what, I'll make the cards you lose detonate. How about dat?” Gambit counter offered, making Wade consider.

“That's a way to keep it sporty all right... but no staff, okay?”

“Afraid?”

“Nah. Keeping myself pure for Spidey... rec room?”

“After you, mon ami.”

 

And at Xavier's school...

 

“But WHY does it say here that training is limited to the Danger Room?” Wanda exploded. She'd read the rule book dozens of time now, and couldn't help noticing a few things.

Her outburst prompted a small smile on her teacher/jailer's face.

“Finally. You got a hard head, Princess.”

“What does that mean?” Wanda asked suspiciously. The older man only shrugged.

“Just that. And to answer your question, to avoid accidental casualties... some of the kids are as unstable as you are when they first get here. Accidents can happen.”

“I am not unstable!”

“Yes you are. Now, if you got other questions, Chuck will answer them. But you earned yourself new reading material.”

Logan strolled to the desk and took out two much thicker folders, kept one, and pushed the other on Wanda's table.

“What are those?”

“The Accords.”

“I'm not reading those!”

“And here we go again,” Logan grumbled, not bothering to hide his rolling eyes.  
The brat was really trying his patience. “Same deal as before. Aloud. But only once, this time.”

“All of it? But it's nearly 300 pages!” 

“274. Better get cracking, don't you think?”

Wolverine took his now customary seat on the window ledge (If he had to stay with Princess all day, he WOULD smoke, dang it!), and started on his own copy.  
The new version had arrived a couple of days ago, and he needed to acquaint himself with them, too.  
He hid a smile around his cigar as the brat started reading almost immediately. 

It had taken nine days and five botched runaway attempts, but the girl could be house trained. She may even see reason one day.

Logan was NOT touching her Stark obsession even with a ten foot pole, though.  
THAT would be Chuck's job, and he didn't envy him the task.  
Wolverine could well understand the need to find a culprit for her parents death. Lots of kids in the Mansion had also been dealt shitty hands, and sometimes, simple revenge was the only thing to hold on to.

Her reasoning escaped him, though.  
Instead of trying to find out what had happened, who had sent that missile, she just focused on the name written on it. Logan was pretty certain her Hydra handlers had been OVERJOYED by that, the fuckheads.

 

And back at the compound...

 

Steve picked himself up and limped to his room. Super soldier or not, that kick had HURT...  
He'd taken to avoiding the others as much as he could since that Press conference. The sniggers as he went anywhere weren't so covert anymore, for one.

And going to town, even in civilian clothes, hadn't turned out to be such a great idea after all. Someone always recognized him, sooner or later, and it never ended well.  
Mothers promptly stepped up to gather their children from from his vicinity...when said children didn't come right up to kick Steve viciously in the shins.

And sooner or later, he would be pelted with whatever stuff was at hand... so much so that the others at the compound had baptized his little forays into town as *going to the market*  
One nostalgic trip to Brooklyn, dangerously close to a fish market, had wielded especially stinky results.

And Steve was feeling very confused.  
He'd done the right thing... Then why did people keep telling him he'd been wrong? Why didn't they like him anymore? Why did that little girl call him a bully?

Steve wasn't a bully. NO. That wasn't possible. He always fought for what was right, just like during The War.  
People had loved him for it then... and now they hated him?  
Why was the modern world so complicated?

“Bucky... I need Bucky.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, let us be honest there: Raise your hand everybody that felt sorry for Steve just now...
> 
> Yeah, I knew it.  
> We're all saps.   
> PS: read the comments. Okay, turns out my readers are not saps! LOL! (I am, though... I guess it's having to get in Private Idiot's head at regular intervals...Mmmm...I should watch this.)


	24. Conversation with Coulson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Phil tries again... And then throws the towel (sorta).
> 
> Beta'ed by the awesome VWebb ( have a *your my hero* card, honey!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, customary warning there: CAPTAIN IDIOT IS GOING TO OPEN HIS MOUTH AND WORDS WILL COME OUT!!
> 
> Take some time to do some Zen thing, have a drink, be at peace...
> 
> Okay? Deep breath, then... Here it comes!

Phil Coulson felt bad for the man who'd been his childhood hero... and now looked at him like a lost puppy.

“Why do people hate me?” He'd asked, after sitting in his now customary chair.

“Most people don't hate you, Mr. Rogers. Some do, yes, but mostly they're afraid of you.”

“But WHY? I don't understand.”

Phil bravely resisted the impulse to dip into his Advil stash. It was going to be hard, he could tell already.

“Mr. Rogers, can you try to see this from the eye of the general public?”

“What do you mean?”

That look would have been adorable... On a three month old pup. On a grown man, it was somewhat disquieting.

“Try to recall who you were before the war, as a Brooklyn kid.   
Now imagine a bunch of terrifyingly powerful beings had stormed through there, destroying buildings, killing a bunch of people in their wake... how would you have felt?”

“Afraid... and angry too, I suppose...”

“Right. And now, imagine those same powerful people giving a radio talk and saying that they did that because there were bad guys around that needed to be dealt with, to bad about the mess we left behind.   
And no, they're not sorry... and they may do it again if they feel like it. What would you have thought then?”

“But it's not the same!”

“Mr. Rogers, it's EXACTLY the same. For the average man or woman in Johannesburg, or Lagos, events unfolded like I just described... do you understand what I'm saying?”

It took a few minutes, but Rogers finally nodded. Oh, good, they were making amazing headway there.

“Now the Accords...”

“I won't talk about the Accords!”

“Rogers, sit down or so help me God, I'll have you bound and gagged!” Coulson's voice cracked like a whip, “YOU are not going to talk about the Accords, I am. First, where did you think they came from?”

“Ross... or Stark. Or both. I don't know, really. Does it matter?” Steve shrugged.

The urge to headdesk was strong, but Phil heroically resisted.

“You're wrong. Ross high-jacked them for his own purpose, and dragged Stark along, also for his own purpose...”

“HA! I KNEW it!”

“Mr. Rogers, you are being willfully blind. Did you really think Ross didn't have his eye on Iron Man Tech? What he had planned for Stark wasn't exactly pleasant, and be certain Stark himself at least suspected it. But I digress, those Accords originated from the UN, Mr. Rogers.”

“I know that.”

“But do you really know what the UN is? It was founded after the war, after all.”

“Just a bunch of corrupt politicians with agendas. They don't count.”

Phil's headache returned full force when the man he'd worshiped for most of his life brushed aside 193 countries with a negligent wave of his hand. *Oh, God, here we go AGAIN* he thought before taking a calming breath.

“Mr. Rogers, the UN is the place where representatives of 193 SOVEREIGN countries meet.   
And they are mostly diplomats and high ranking officials, not government members.” Phil raised a hand not to be interrupted, and Rogers subsided “193, Mr. Rogers. That's most of the world. And while some of those governments are corrupt, not all of them are.”

“I never said that!”

“Yes you did. The Sokovian Accords were pushed by 117 of those countries. That means 60% of the planet. Did you really think 60% of the world was corrupt, Mr. Rogers?”

“The people, no. But their gov...” Phil raised a hand to stop what he was not going to stomach, he knew it.

“People NEED government, Rogers. Some of them are good, some of them are bad, and most of them fall somewhere in the middle. But most of them DO care about their citizens. Are you really arrogant enough to need to be told by 7 billion people, INDIVIDUALY, that you are doing something wrong?”

“That's not what I asked for... I protect the people!”

“And yet when those same people tell you NO, you refuse to listen.”

“But Ross had an agenda, you said it yourself! And Stark...”

Phil had enough.

“No. The Accords were one thing, Ross was another.   
By your stubborn decision, the only thing you very effectively achieved was to put Stark in an untenable position. And don't talk to me about Agendas, Rogers. YOU had an agenda.”

“What?”

“Your agenda was not to protect the world, it was to save your friend. The friend who was at the time a wanted criminal.” Phil sighed, “normally, I would say such loyalty is commendable, but not this time.”

“Why? Bucky was innocent!”

“James Buchanan Barnes was innocent of the Vienna bombing, true. But the Winter Soldier has killed dozens of people over the years, all proven and documented.”

“That's not Bucky!”

“And you set out to prove that by destroying cities and killing the innocent people you claim to protect?  
You couldn't have chosen a worse course of action if you'd tried... and I know I'm wasting my time, you cease to listen as soon as your friend is mentioned.”

Coulson opened a drawer and took a thick, bound folder out and plonked it on the desk in front of Steve.

“These are the New Accords. Contrary to the others, you ARE going to read them.”

“I did read the Accords. I just didn't want to sign them.”

Phil knew that face, privately thought it would fit better on the rear end of a mule... And that may be disparaging to mules.

“You didn't read the Accords.  
You read a two page summary written by Ross, and you decided to throw your temper tantrum. Ross must have been absolutely delighted, you gave him all the excuse he needed to stomp on ALL the super humans he both despised and envied.   
I am NOT giving you that option.   
You ARE going to read this, like the rest of the team. A UN representative will be here every day to answer your questions, if you have any, and you WILL attend these meetings. That will be all, Mr. Rogers.”

 

Phil watched the man leave. They'd made a small, very small, progress, but at this stage Phil was counting his blessings. He thought about it for a moment, and reached for his phone.

“Fury,” was the bark at the other end.

“Afternoon, Nick, how is Operation Sleeping Beauty going?”

“Well, between Stark and his BARF tech., Xavier and surprisingly, Strange, we're starting to get a handle on it.”

“Strange?”

“Former neurosurgeon, so he had a few things to say... just wish he wasn't so condescending about it. Why do you ask?”

“We need to revive Barnes ASAP, before Rogers goes off the deep end.”

“Captain Bonehead being his usual delightful self, I take it?”

“Of course. I gave him his copy of the Accords, and I'll ensure he reads them this time, but...”

“You think he's gonna do something spectacularly stupid again.”

“Likely. Want it or not, Barnes is his anchor... I just hope the man is not as narrow minded as his childhood friend.”

“From his military accounts, he wasn't... even if he was a bit of a hothead. Mmmm... I'll try to speed it up.”

“Thank you. And how is Romanoff?”

“Sulking, probably hopping mad inside. But cowed for the time being... Just the way I like my spiders,” the older spy chuckled. Phil permitted himself a smile.

“Nice talking to you, Nick. You never change.”

“Why should I? Gets the job done. See ya.”

 

Coulson hung up and dragged a new folder in front of him for his perusal, and squinted a bit. 

 

He really would have to tell Wilson to stop doing weird things with whipped cream...   
Some of the younger agents reports sounded a bit... distressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeks in* Nobody hulked out?  
> Ya all have awesome control!


	25. Will you be my Jiminy Cricket?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Bucky wakes up... And finds himself with a job he never asked for.  
> Also, a bit of Hope and Scott.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Barnes?” said a professional voice at his right, female.

“As if I'm gonna puke, to be honest,” he answered. No matter how many times he'd been in cryo, that was one thing that didn't get easier... although, to be fair, it was a bit better this time.

There was a chuckle on his left, further away, but he could only see shapes.

“Why is everything blurry?”

When Hydra woke him up, he was usually ready for immediate action.   
With the mother of all headaches, of course, but that hadn't been Hydra's problem.

“We're doing it by stages, Mr. Barnes. The procedure you described previous to your last sleep was... brutal.”

He could hear the revulsion in the doctor's voice. She was still blurry, but didn't look like a Wakandian.

“Where am I?”

“Avengers compound, Upstate New York. Welcome back, Sergeant Barnes,” the man said. Oh, man... New York, really? 

“I'm home?”

“Yes, Sergeant. I'll leave you in the competent hands of Dr. Cho and her assistants for the time being. May I come back to see you later?”

“Course. What's your name?”

“Coulson. Philip J. Coulson.”

“Nice to meet you, Philip J. Coulson.”

 

A couple hours later, he was half sitting in a comfortable bed, and almost enjoying a light meal, when a nondescript man in a gray suit came in and gave him a polite nod.

“Dr. Cho tells me your recovery seems to be complete, Sergeant.”

“Ah. Philip J...”

“Just call me Coulson.”

“Awright. Where's Steve?” he frowned, “not in prison?”

“Mr. Rogers is here in the compound. He's not yet aware you have been woken up, though.”

“Why?”

The man said a few words in Russian. Words the Winter Soldier knew, that Bucky certainly remembered.   
He tensed, but... nothing. No urge to kill, or even to obey. Just... words.

“How?” He finally managed.

“It took a lot of tech, the Earth's foremost telepath, and the Sorcerer Supreme's expertise as a neurosurgeon... it could still have gone wrong, though.”

“You mean you just confirmed it? NOW!? Are you insane?”

To his utter amazement, the man just smiled and took a seat.

“It's kind of my job.” He said with a minute shrug, “do you want to see Mr. Rogers now?”

“.... Yeah, sure.” The man caught on to his hesitation.

“You don't have to right now if you don't really want to. Do you?”

He thought about it... it's not that he didn't want to see Stevie, but...

“A bit later. Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“What happened since I went down? THAT I want to know.”

Two hours and some videos later, Bucky was frowning fiercely, “couldn't you have stopped that?”

“What?”

“That conference, that...”

“Do you suggest I should terrorize little girls? Mr. Rogers WANTED that press conference, Mr. Barnes. In fact, he was in my office asking for it daily.”

“He was always a stubborn punk,” Bucky muttered, before pining Coulson with a glare. “But you knew it would end this way!”

“Of course. After what I told you, wouldn't anyone think so? 

Anyone except Steve Rogers, that is. We didn't hide the public response to those videos from him, Sergeant.   
He could read the papers and watch TV just like any of us. He just chose to ignore it.”

“What are you hinting at?”

“Sergeant Barnes, when you met Steve Rogers after the serum, did you find him... changed?”

Bucky couldn't help it, he guffawed. “From sickly shrimp to super soldier? I certainly did!”

Coulson straightened in his chair. He wasn't even smiling, so Bucky began to feel some dread.

“I'm not talking about that. Did his behavior change? In any way?”

“Well, he was stubborn, but that wasn't new, Stevie could always one-up a herd of mules.   
Prone to fighting, but that wasn't really different either, he just had the muscle to back it up, suddenly.   
And it was the War, a combat zone... it changed all of us.

Honestly, in Stevie's case, it was a bit hard to see any changes beyond the Mr. Universe thing. Why?"

“Mr. Barnes, it appears that the Eskrine Serum wasn't a complete success on Steve Rogers, as we were led to believe.   
While not as transformed as Johann Schmitt was, he still suffered from personality changes.   
The recent events, and Mr. Rogers blatant disregard to the opinions of people he called friends or of the world in general, showed this. 

So did his disregard of casualties, civilian or otherwise. 

The only person he seems to have a genuine emotional attachment is you.   
To be brief and to the point, Sergeant Barnes, we didn't wake you up to fight for us, even though you can do so if you want...   
We woke you up to be Steve Rogers conscience.”

Bucky looked at the gray suited man, his mouth hanging open, waiting for the butt of the joke. It never came.

“What the fuck?”

 

At the same time...

Scott was having his usual lonely lunch in the compound cafeteria, when a tray suddenly slid in front of him. Surprised, he looked up.

“Hope?!”

“Yes... do you always eat alone, Scott?”

He shrugged, trying to look indifferent.

“The others don't like me much... said I had a shot at the *Hero gig* and botched it.   
It's okay at work, but they don't really socialize, ya know?”

“And how is Cassie?”

Scott face lit up and he suddenly became more animated.

“She's doing great! Her... her mom's new guy is decent.   
Police, so he's not fond of me, with my criminal record and all, but he's not trying to get between me and my little darling. Got to respect that.”

Hope looked at him, seemed to make a decision, and took a deep breath.

“Scott, I must say this: I'm sorry for how my father, and then me, used you. We shouldn't have.”

“Not your fault.” 

He answered with a shrug, but Hope shook her head, lips in a grim line.

“Yes it was. Hank, because he's a bitter old man, and me because I wanted to prove myself to him. It had nothing to do with you, and we dragged you into this.   
At least I got Stark's word that our breaking and entering won't lead to any charges, ever.”

“Oh, well... Stark got his revenge anyway didn't he?” Scott answered while half heartedly playing with his food.

“Uh? What do you mean by that?” Hope asked, looking stunned.

“Well, he took the suit, didn't he? Just like his father wanted to do... and I'm back to being a lowly lab assistant because I supported Cap...”

“Oh, God, Scott, are you listening to yourself? Stark didn't take the suit, my FATHER did!   
And you two are just plain ridiculous: Tony Stark ISN'T his father, he never was.”

“But Hank...”

“Hank never even met the man, just disliked him on principle because his last name was Stark.   
Oh, Scott, why do you listen to my father when he's sprouting rubbish, but forget all the important parts?”

“What parts?”

“About not taking the Ant-Man suit lightly? Thinking about what you're getting into?   
You just took the suit and vanished with it, and the next thing we know, you use it to break the law!”

“But Captain America said the Accords...” Hope sighed.

“Are you not done yet with your Captain America worship, Scott?   
The man happened to be wrong, and you bunch of idiots blindly followed him!”

“But Stark...”

“Stark didn't come to you, asking you to break the law because he thought he knew better than the whole world. Captain Idiot did.  
And YOU made the decision to follow, taking the suit and not talking to anyone.   
Don't try to fob your own actions on to Stark, Scott. It won't work! Not with me, at any rate.”

“Then what should I have done?” Scott asked a bit belligerently.

“Talk to people, ask! " 

Hope raised hands and eyes to the ceiling in exasperation, before calming down and look at him a bit sadly.

“I'm not your conscience, Scott. I don't want to be.   
But please, don't follow Hank's footsteps into blaming everyone but yourself for your own actions.   
You have a paying job at the Avengers, you can see your daughter... trust me, it's far better than what my father would have left you with, if he'd gotten his way.”

Hope was looking a bit blurry to Scott as she stood up, gathering her tray... spec of dust in the eye, no doubt.

“But it could have been so much better!”

“Probably. But that's not Stark's fault... or mine... or anyone else. You'll have to live with that. Sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I've defrosted Bucky!!  
> Poor guy doesn't know what's in store for him, for sure... Send plenty of hugs!


	26. Ass Guarding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could also be called what's Loki been up to...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I am busy righting wrongs and all, another person wanted to have his own little moment and kick some As(s)...

To say Thor was confused would be putting it lightly, to say the least.

The Allfather had sent him all over the Nine lately, carrying messages, checking on troops, putting down minor squabbles.  
He knew the Warrior Three and Sif had been similarly occupied, not that he'd seen much of them lately.

Odin had even sent a delegation to Jotunheim, opening peace talks... even gone there himself to return the Casket!

Thor would NEVER have done that, but the Frost Giants had been surprisingly cooperative since then.  
The Thunderer was beginning to wonder if at least part of what he'd known all his life about Jotuns was wrong.

It had certainly been a surprise to learn that he, himself, was a quarter Jotun via Odin... like a lot of the Aesir, actually. Uh.  
And now the Allfather wanted him to go to Midgard? To organize its defense?

“Nick Fury and the Man of Iron, father? I thought my Shield brother Rogers was in charge.”

“There has been some changes on Midgard, my son. Those two are the best to explain them to you. Safe journey.”

“Yes, Allfather.”

On the way to the Bifrost, Thor wondered if he could take a little time to visit Lady Jane. He'd missed her...

 

Odin clenched his teeth as the door closed behind his son's retreating back. It took all his self control not to send the papers littering his desk to the floor.  
He'd had to watch, securely bound in the Odinsleep, as his dratted adoptive son impersonated him on the Throne of Asgard for YEARS... and no one was the wiser.  
He'd tried to free himself of it, but whatever the sorcerer had done, it had held.

Heimdall had been as selectively blind as ever, something that had served him right in the past, but he now began to regret it.

As for Huginn and Muninn, the two Ravens told him quite bluntly they served the Norns first, and him only second, and that at the moment Loki was serving the good of the Nine Realms.  
Odin was pretty certain that the pair of birds were now keeping an eye on him. 

It was not a sensation the old God was familiar with, and he found he resented it.  
Briefly, Odin wondered if that was why Loki hid from Heimdall's sight for centuries, but let go of the thought as a fresh surge of rage went through him.

The Allfather had bided his time, telling himself he would take care of the Jotun problem himself, this time.

But the seidmar had timed it well, and was long gone before Odin opened his eyes, taking residence in his daughter realm, the one place where Odin couldn't easily put his hands on him. Considering what had happened to her siblings, Hel was not fond of her *grandfather*, to say the least...

To add insult to injury, the Allfather had almost immediately realized that no matter how much he wanted it, he could neither expose the Jotun as a usurper or abolish the policies he'd put up in place, without looking like a complete ass.  
The scum had not only given back the Casket, allowing the Frost Giants to finally repair their world, but also given more autonomy to the other realms.  
Not something they were likely to relinquish without force.

And Odin was many things, but a fool wasn't one of them, Asgard had gotten complacent in the last centuries, and its Army was not what it once had been.  
And even if the armys was at full strength, it couldn't take all the other realms at once, that's why Odin had carefully planned his campaigns in his youth.

Not something he could do again, especially since all the puppet kings and queens the Allfather had carefully selected had turned their backs on him and sided with Loki's plans, the traitors.  
Attack one and all the others would come to his defense.

Odin uttered a few select words in frustration.

“Now, *father*, language...Tss, Tss...”

Out of habit, the old God sent the first object he could put his hand on toward the Jotun's head, like he'd done the past few days. As usual, the object shattered on the wall, passing through the projection.  
Odin didn't know what the mage had done to secure his projection for that long a distance, but he would find out.

Loki raised an eyebrow, reading that face perfectly *good luck with that*, he thought.

“Really, Odin, must you break dishes and drinking implements every time I come to visit? The servants will start talking about feeble hands soon, at this rate.”

“What do you want?”

“Oh, the usual: Checking you keep on track, do as you're told, don't try to slip the leash... little things like that.” Loki answered nonchalantly, knowing it would infuriate the old man.

“I'm not your puppet, Loki!” Odin snapped.

Loki let his mask fall down and looked at the other with barely veiled disgust.

“Yes you are. You're my puppet till I deem it otherwise, and you can't do a thing about it. Just the fate you had in mind for ME, *daddy dearest*. So, how does it feel to be on the other end of the leash?”

Odin growled, which elicited a grin from the trickster.

“As articulate as ever, I see... now, to business; As I stated previously, I will let you spend your remaining years on your golden throne, since you like it so much.  
I don't know why, that thing is extremely uncomfortable.”

“That didn't prevent you from coveting it,” Odin sneered.

“We're back to this? Really? I never wanted to rule Asgard... that was always the big lout's job, thank the Norns.”

“You lie!” Loki rolled his eyes.

“... And Loki lies because Loki is a liar, yadda, yadda, yadda... when are you going to get tired of that old saw?  
YOU made me the scapegoat of your own lies and shortcomings often enough to know that's not true.  
As for my ruling Asgard as myself? Please. I despise most Aesir as much as they despise me, why would I want that?”

“Then why did you?”

“Because Thanos is coming to attack the realms, and you wouldn't listen to anything I had to say! Wait, stop. You didn't even ASK, you spiteful old man!”

Odin single eye widened “The Titan? But... how?”

“Oh, now you ask.  
Honestly, Odin, it never occurred to you to wonder where I had been, after that fall? In whose hands I might have ended in? WHY I had suddenly gotten it into my head to attack Midgard?  
Or were you just that eager to punish me for the stain I had gotten on the family name?”

“Loki, you killed a lot of people...”

“And how was that so different from what Thor and his friends have been doing all these years, and been PRAISED for?  
Different from what you, and your father... and his father before that, have been doing?  
And please spare me the refrain about Midgardian lives being valuable, we both know you don't believe a word of it. Far less than I do, at any rate.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“That if I didn't think Midgardian lives were as precious as any in the Nine, I wouldn't have botched my own invasion the way I did.  
And stop the incredulous look, that plan wasn't even worthy of Thor... and that's not saying much.” 

The mage shrugged, and buffed his nails on his green leather coat.

“But let's not chew on old soup anymore. The Titan IS coming.  
To Midgard, thanks to your propensity of leaving things you don't want around the house there... and forgetting about it.  
Also, thanks to your disastrous policy, Midgard is woefully unprepared, having been cut off the other realms for so long. No more.

And just in case are tempted to sweep this under the rug, know that all the other rulers have been informed and are making their own preparations...”

“You are destroying Asgard supremacy!”

“Nice to confirm where your priority lays, *father*,” the mage mocked  
“I'm talking about the end of Yggdrasil, and the only thing you care about is that your chunk of a planet is sitting on top of the smoking, destroyed pile. Classy as ever.  
No, Odin. You are going to prepare to defend the realms, just as you are sworn to do.”

“I don't need to have YOU reminding me of my duty, you... you...”

“Then do it, and I may let you keep your throne.” The Trickster vanished.

 

At his post, Heimdall frowned a bit; The Allfather's mood swings, which had seemed to disappear after Frigga's death, had returned full blast...  
And it now seemed that the king was talking to himself. Old age? 

That was quite worrying. He would have to speak to the Prince about that...


	27. Bucky at the helm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky is starting his new job... Afraid he doesn't like it much.
> 
> Beta'ed by the fantastic VWebb!

Bucky was starting to wish he was back in the fridge.

He loved Stevie, he truly did. And the man had risked everything to save him... for the second time so he was truly grateful, would always be.  
But he was starting to wonder if he could kick the bonehead's ass. Just a bit.

First, he'd never have thought in a million years that Stevie could complain so much. It was mind boggling... now he understood why Coulson had left him that box of Advil, saying he could always come back for more.

“... And that poor kid Wanda, all alone, now that was really cruel...”

“Stevie?”

“Yes, Bucky?”

“Cut the bullshit.”

His pal's face went slack with shock before he croaked, “what?”

“You heard me. Honestly, punk, you always were more stubborn than a pack of mules, but never a whiner. What happened to you?”

“Stark happened,” Steve answered, stony faced. Hopefully Bucky knew how to defuse this.

“Stark again? Honest, Steve, I'm beginning to think you want to get in the man's pants, you're so obsessed with him!”

Steve went beet red, coughed, sputtered, and looked at his friend with horror.

“No! NO! NEVER! How can you think that?”

“Well, Stark this, Stark that... Stevie, you sound like a girl with her first crush!” Bucky laughed.

“But that's because EVERYTHING is his fault! The Accords, your arm... Bucky, he even attacked you!”

“Steve, he had just seen me killing his parents... what did you think he was going to do? Just shrug and say: okay, fine, let's all have a drink? You can't be serious...”

“How can you defend him?”

“Because if I had been in his place, right that minute, I would have done exactly the same thing. So would you, if you're honest about it.”

“No I wouldn't.”

“Yes you would. You forget who you're talking to, Stevie.  
I hauled your scrawny ass out of fights you started for far fewer motives, remember?”

Steve blushed and Bucky pressed on, knowing he had the advantage.

“And I must say, you seem to think Stark is some sort of demigod that can bend everyone and everything to his will.   
I'm sure your man crush is fabulous, but that's a bit much, don't you think?”

“He's not my crush!”

“Then explain it to me: Why were the Accords his fault?”

“Because they were! He felt guilty about ULTRON, so...”

Bucky cut the explanation.   
He'd allready heard that story from Steve... up, down, and sideways. It sounded a bit far fetched to him.   
Stark didn't have the rep to be one to botch his research... quite the contrary, in fact.   
His Hydra handlers, he recalled, were always eager to get their hands on Stark tech, whatever the price... in money or lives.   
And it was a bit strange for the genius to go AWOL on one crazy AI when he already had a perfectly working one literaly at home... 

But whatever, that was not the problem here.

“So he wanted to what? Punish you all? Stevie, that doesn't make any sense...”

“I know! But that's what he did!”

“Aren't you forgetting a lot of other people here, Steve?   
People that had nothing to do with you or Stark but can very well make their own decisions, and act on them?   
Why is it that when something doesn't go your way, you always point at him and say it's his fault?   
Wait... did you make him into another Terry the Asshole?”

Bucky knew he's struck gold when Stevie gave him a standard deer in headlights look, and sighed.   
Terence Georges Gardener, aka Terry the Asshole, the bane of Steve's early life.

As the son of the local grocer, Terry had been a bit more well off than the other kids.   
His pockets often held sweets and other stuff pilfered from his dad's shop, and it had ensured him a crowd of sycophants to follow his every whim.   
That, and an over protective mother who couldn't see anything wrong with her only son, had enabled Terry to become a reigning terror amongst the kids.

Stevie being Stevie, that never went well... mostly for Stevie himself.

After a few years, it had been almost automatic: Every time Steve ended up embroiled in a fight, or any kind of trouble really, it had been Terry the Asshole's fault.  
At the time, he'd been often right, but Bucky could remember a few instances when he'd been wrong.

“Stevie, Terry died during the war... Tony Stark is Howard's son.”

“I know that!”

“Then why do you mix the two of them up?”

“Because they're alike! You don't know Stark, Buck... he used to make weapons...”

“So did Howard. In fact, he inherited the company from him... and he stopped, didn't he?”

“He's a womanizer! No morals at all...” *Now, Steve, you're grasping at straws...*

“What has that got to do with anything? That's his business. And I went through a few pretty ladies myself even before Hydra.”

“And he buys people with his money!”

“Who? Like the Avengers?”

Steve nodded

“Steve, how can you say that? I was in Wakanda, remember?   
ALL the Avengers where there except for that Bruce guy that I never saw, and Natasha who disappeared after she let us go.   
Stark had that kid, the android... and his best friend we crippled. If Stark tried to *buy* the Avengers in any fashion, it sure didn't show.”

“That's because we're better than him. Ouch! What was that for?” Steve exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head.

“Steven Rogers, that's not the son Sarah raised!” Bucky said sternly, experiencing some satisfaction when his best friend fidgeted on his seat. “You're NOT better than anyone else! Who put those idiotic ideas in your head?”

“They said Captain America...” Steve started, but Bucky raised a hand.

“That's not the Stevie I know... when we were in the commandos, you were always embarrassed by that Captain America thing! Howard even used to tease you mercilessly about it, remember?”

“I do, but...”

“No buts, punk. That guy's still in there somewhere. Go find him. We'll talk afterwards.”

James Buchanan Barnes stood and left the room, trying hard not to look over his shoulder so he would not see a despondent Stevie sitting there like a lost soul.  
If he did, he would give in and try to raise his spirit, and that's not what his friend needed right now.  
Bucky sighed. Being someone's Jiminy Cricket was a damn hard job.

 

Time to see Coulson for that new box of Advil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry Bucky! I swear it won't last too long... Have hope! (Err... Not have Hope, I mean... except if she says yes, of course! Then it's okay, have fun.)


	28. One Princess awakens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where someone gets the rug pulled out beneath her arrogant feet.
> 
> Beta'ed by the super, and super fast VWebb!

“Come in... good afternoon, Miss Maximoff... Logan.” Xavier nodded to Wolverine, who nodded back. “Chuck.”

Xavier gestured to the visitors chairs.

“Please, take a seat.”

“Is this about the Accords?” Wanda asked, “because if it is, I want to talk to Captain America first.”

Logan had always thought Charles was a good diplomat, but he really nailed the expression of mild surprise there.

“You may do as you wish, but may I ask why?   
You're only a couple of years younger than Steve Rogers' actual age, if you discount his time in the ice. I would have thought you adult enough to make your own decisions, no?”

Logan saw the Princess' eyes widen in surprise, then narrow in consideration, and barely restrained a laugh. Well played, Chuck!

Not that the brat really needed a bigger head, but Logan guessed getting her out of her Captain America worship was worth it...   
And, well, she was not a child, might as well stop running to Daddy all the time.

“No, Miss Maximoff, I didn't call you here to talk about the Accords.”

Her face lit up.

“I'm going back to the Avengers then? Captain America asked for me?”

“I'm afraid the answer is no on both counts: You're not ready, and Mr. Rogers hasn't asked about you, as far as I know.”

The girl deflated, looking sad, then resentful.

“No, Miss Maximoff, I asked for you about a different matter.   
During our first conversation, you expressed the need to have closure about your parents death, so I made some inquiries...”

“Well, we all know Stark killed them, so...”

“I'm afraid it is a bit more complicated than that, Miss Maximoff.”

“What do you mean? Stark made them, it's his fault!”

“Not so. The clincher was that unexploded shell you stared at for so long with your brother.   
Stark industries didn't earn so many military contracts by selling faulty materials. When SI sold a bomb what was supposed to explode, it exploded.  
However, like in any production line, there are faulty products.   
Those were supposed to be put away for destruction/reconstruction, but Mr. Stane saw a great road to fast profits in dismantling that branch of SI... and selling the second grade products to the highest bidder.

All unbeknownst to Stark himself, and most of the Board, I may add.   
SI conducted an extensive search of Mr. Stane's shady dealings after his demise, which is why we were able to track down the shipment that ultimately caused your parents deaths...”

“So? What of it?”

“Miss Maximoff, that shipment was brought by a Hydra agent that worked for Baron Von Strucker.” Charles Xavier said very gently.

“WHAT?!”

“The Baron wanted to encourage civil unrest in Sokovia, to further his experiments, and to pave the way for the election of a government more to his liking.   
He succeeded for a time, as you well know.”

“No... you... I... can't be true.”

“It's all in there if you want to have a look, Miss Maximoff,” Xavier said, pushing a small folder across his desk.   
Wanda grabbed and tore through it. NATO reports, FBI reports, even transcripts of Hydra reunions... she slowed down as she saw her name, read more slowly...  
And the whole thing fell on the floor in a flurry of papers, as Wanda looked at Xavier with horrified eyes.

“We... I... I worked for my parent's murderers? And they KNEW it?! Strucker too?”

“Since it was his plan in the first place, it's safe to assume he did.”

“So all those times we talked to him about what happened to our parents, to us... All those times he told us it was the Americans... STARK's fault, he... He...”

Wanda bolted from the room, and Logan looked at Charles, “all that true?”

“Logan!” Charles exclaimed in pained surprise.

“Ya know what I mean, Chuck... anymore hidden surprises, or was that the whole shebang?”

“That's all I could find, with Fury's help... and I cross referenced with NATO, Interpol... even Russian diplomats, since the US wasn't the only one interested in Sokovia at the time.”

“Kay. Better find Princess, then. She's gonna need help.”

“Thank you, Logan.”

“Don't mention it. I mean it,” Wolverine said gruffly before going in search of Wanda. 

Charles smiled at the not quite slammed door and went back to his work... keeping a light mental link with Logan, just in case.

 

Wolverine followed his nose to the girls' bathroom, where he could ear the girl being violently sick. He winced, and set out to wait.  
Moments later she emerged, looking surprised to see him.

“C'mon Princess, let's go to your room.” He added a bit louder, “I'm sure Chuck will send someone with a nice cup of tea”

Smirked a bit when he heard Charles mental chuckle.  
Logan dragged the zombie like girl to her room, bundled her into a throw as she sat on the bed, shivering, then went to retrieve the cup of tea as someone knocked, thrusting it into her hand.

“Drink.”

“I... I...”

“Drink. Talk later. You're in shock.”

He watched as she drank the thing, waiting till the tremors subsided...   
Then her eyes swelled, and Wolverine knew the hard part had begun.

“I've been HORRIBLE!” the girl wailed.

“Moderately so, yes,” THAT suspended the waterworks in favor of a glare, and he smirked a bit.

“C'mon, Princess, we know each other. You know I'm not one for the pity party, so I won't sugar coat it.   
Doesn't mean I can't be there for you when you really need it.”

“You don't even like me!”

“What has it got to do with anything? And you've been growing on me... a bit like fungus.”   
He smiled at her indignant expression, “you've got some impressive stubborn, Princess. I can respect that.”

“But I've made so many mistakes!”

“Join the Club, Princess... join the Club. And you trusted the wrong people too much. THAT I can fully relate to.”

“What do you mean?”

“What do you know about me? My *powers*, I mean.”

“Well... those claws... and you're a good fighter and tracker, but... ”Wanda stopped when those shiny, lethal claws emerged out of one fist.

“You know how I got those, my little Diva?   
I don't remember much, I got some info from Gambit and that crazy asshole Deadpool, but I worked for some very *special* Forces for a bit.   
My primary *gift*, if you want to call it that, is healing... that's how those people I worked for managed to pour molten adamantium over my skeleton.   
That I remember ”Wolverine said as those claws retracted. “A bunch of guys in uniforms having champagne and petits fours while I'm screaming my head off.”

“OhmyGod, that's HORRIBLE! But why?”

“What do those guys want out of us, Hydra or otherwise? Make weapons out of us, of course.”

“THAT's why Captain America said the accords were wrong.”

“Right. I knew that stubborn wasn't far away... what I'm saying is you got to be careful who you trust, Princess. And even if you do, make up your own mind about things.”

“What does THAT means?” Wanda asked suspiciously. Logan shrugged.

“Ever since you got there, it's been Captain America this, Cap America that... you've been parroting Rogers to all and sundry, but what do YOU think?   
You've read those accords a couple of times now, are they really what your beloved idol told you they were?”

“No, but...”

“But what?”

Wanda opened her mouth a couple of times, but nothing came out.   
It was true that the accords were not what she assumed them to be, now that she'd read them.   
When Cap had said *they* wanted to put a collar on them, Wanda had imagined something more on the line of what she'd known with Hydra.   
And that was incredibly stupid... fresh tears started to appear.

Logan stood up. He could brush off the crocodile tears, but genuine ones always made him uneasy.

“Yeah, have a good cry... I'll see you tomorrow morning, Princess. Got to go over those accords point by point.”

Wanda sniffed, “why?”

“So any and all of us can raise a point to the UN about them if we think of one... that's one of the things Stark insisted upon before they are finalized.”

“He... he did? WHY?” 

"Dunno. Probably because he's basically a normal human who's been in the Hero gig, so he understands both sides... bright and early tomorrow morning, okay?   
I'll be very disappointed in my Lil' Diva if you haven't got at least a couple of objections ”

Wanda managed a nod and a sincere, if wobbly, smile in Logan's direction before he managed to make his escape.

*Chuck, I swear, after that one, I'm out of the babysitting detail*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think?  
> Was I nasty enough, making Miss high and mighty work for her parents killers? *evil chuckle*


	29. Confused Thor is confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thor is trying to make sense of what happened on Midgard... And Deadpool is trying to make sense of both Rogers and Thor. Not very successfully. 
> 
> Beta'ed by the awesome VWebb

Phil hid a little smile when his office door bounced off the wall and almost slammed his exuberant visitor in the face.

“Son of Coul! How great to see you in good health again!”

“Yes. Hello, Thor.”

“My Father sends his regards!”

“Thank you... except he doesn't, really, does he?”

The Thunderer sighed as he sat and put Mjolnir delicately on the floor. The God was looking a bit tired.

“No, The Allfather hasn't been well lately.  
He seemed to recover from Mother's death well, during the past years, but I'm afraid age has caught up with him.  
His mood is deteriorating, and it's all I and the Council can do to stop him from making truly bad decisions... I'm afraid he will have to be deposed soon.”

“Oh? I'm sorry to hear that.” Phil said mildly, and left it at that.

He was lying through his teeth.

Loki had caused quite the pandemonium when he'd sent one of his projections to one of the latest WSC meetings (and enjoyed it, the bastard).

Once everybody had calmed down, the Trickster had explained (sort of) what he'd been up to lately, impersonating Odin and the like. 

He'd also showed them a view of Thanos' Army coming their way, which had the amazing effect to sober everybody up.  
Nobody was exactly what you'd call fond of the Jotun, but there was no question he'd turned up with amazing intel.

And a surprisingly long list of allies... most of the still standing realms (Svartalheim being a lost cause), and even a few others.  
The trickster had just asked that Asgard should be left in their illusion of superiority for the time being.  
Once Thanos was defeated things were likely to change in the realms, but considering the Aesir conservative mindset, better not to stir that pot beforehand.

Everyone had agreed, even if Stark had been muttering about *fucking magic* for half an hour after the God had vanished.  
Probably angry his island security had been breached by the Mage.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit, Thor?”

“I had an extensive conversation with Director Fury and the Man of Iron, and they told me most of my shield brothers decided to become criminals? How could that happen?”

Phil wasn't sure his job description covered having to explain Earth's politics to an alien deity... but then, what did he knew?

“Didn't Fury explain? Or Stark?”

“Fury said Shield brother Rogers ignored the will of the people... and the Man of Iron... I am sorry, Son of Coul, but after that ULTRON creature, I'm not sure I can trust him.”

“Why?”

“He refused to admit he was at fault in the creation of the thing!”

“Probably because he wasn't, Thor.”

“I don't understand, friend Coulson.”

That was painfully obvious.

“Thor, all our research show that YOU activated ULTRON, not Stark. In fact, the thing wasn't supposed to activate at all.”

“But I'm no Seidrmadr!”

“No, but you created a surge of energy in the compound by using your hammer indoors.  
It was enough to wake the mind Gem, and the thing took it from there. An unfortunate accident, but definitely NOT Tony Stark's fault.”

“Oh.” The god had a small, pained smile, “I guess I need to apologize to my shield brother Tony, then?”

“It would probably be wise... What did Stark tell you about the Avengers?”

Stark had probably tried to put it in terms Thor would be able to grasp, and Phil didn't want to mix metaphors if the genius used any.

“Friend Tony told me there had been accidents in battle, and your rulers passed a law so that my shield brothers would have to ask permission before they engaged in battle.  
Shield brother Rogers refused this... and decided to become a criminal? With my other shield brothers?”

“That's about how it went in a nutshell, yes.”

“But why? I learned that it was very unwise to engage in battle without the Allfather's permission. While I was on Midgard, shield brother Rogers agreed with this when we talked about it. Why not now?”

Phil shrugged a bit, “it appears that Steve Rogers... and most of the Avengers, thought they knew better, and decided the Law didn't apply to them.”

Thor chewed on that for a few minutes, then straightened up, looking very serious.

“I swear to you, Son of Coul, that I NEVER hit any of my Midgardian shield brothers in the head with Mjolnir!”

Phil barely hid his laugh behind a cough.

“That's okay, Thor, I never thought you did.”

“General Tyr was VERY insistent on that during my training.” The Thunderer stated, still solemn.

Philip J. Coulson was an agent to the core, but even he could lose his composure sometimes. He had to get Thor out of his office... about now.

“Why don't you have a talk with Rogers, Thor? He's actually at the compound, reviewing the new Accords with his new teammates.”

The god stood up, filled with purpose as he grasped Mjolnir.

“YES! Thank you for your advice, friend Coulson!”

“My pleasure, Thor... really.”

Phil chuckled softly as the God strode out of his office and as he opened another file for his perusal. Sometimes, that job had surprising perks.

 

Wade was... almost literally bored to death *At least that's one way nobody's tried before*, and was intent on following a fly's path in the air, just for a change.  
He didn't mind the Accords at all, since he promised Spidey he would be good.

Deadpool guessed that he would be webbed up if he did make a mistake, anyway, so there was that... Mmmm, bondage...

So he was the first to see the blond guy with a big ass hammer coming their way.

“Hey! Is that Mr Super DIY joining us? Nice get up... Lots of drapes .”

Everyone looked in the direction he was pointing and captain Idiot stood up, actually looking happy for once, “Thor!”

“Uh? Tor... Tortilla, Tortoise... Torrid? If that's your relationship, congrats... maybe a bit TMI, ya know.”

Captain Moron looked down his nose at him, as per usual.  
The former icicle seated next to him, was obviously trying hard not to laugh on the other hand. Deadpool quite liked him, actually. The guy was (wait for it) cool.

“That's Thor, the Norse God of Thunder.”

*Ah. Okaaayy...*  
Wade looked around and saw various expression of curiosity on the others faces... and at least in Rogue's and the Wasp lady's, some blatant checking out. Well, he guessed the big guy could be considered attractive. He liked them more wiry himself.

“GREETINGS SHIELD BROTHERS AND SISTERS!”

“Woah, I see what you mean by thunder, your Assholeness... that's some lungs ya got on you, man.”

The blond smiled at him.

“Greetings, strange red creature. I'm Thor.”

“Deadpool. Nice hammer.”

“Thank you, Son of Pool. I would like to have words with my shield brother Rogers, if you don't mind.”

Not that Wade minded, but what did Shakespeare call him? For once in his life, he didn't know what to say... Son of Pool!? WTF?

Captain Arrogant must have sensed Wade's surprise, because he smirked before answering, “you can talk in front of the others, Thor. I have nothing to hide.”

The former Popsicle's eyebrows migrated north at that (he was not the only one), but the Renaissance fair escapee was already talking again.

“Shield brother Rogers, I must apologize for hitting you in the head with Mjolnir, even if I wasn't aware of it.  
Be certain Asgard will pay whatever wergild you will see fit for this misdeed.”

Deadpool (Son of Pool! Really!) wasn't sure what a *there guild* was, but Captain Idiot's face was priceless... and that thing had a name? How cute! And not a bad idea, really. Wade looked at his favorite left thigh pistol *I shall name you... Buttercup!*  
But oh, wait, Captain Destitute was talking.

“But Thor, you didn't hit me with your hammer! What are you talking about?”

Mr. *I Weareth my Mother's Drapes* suddenly looked very confused.

“I'm confused, shield brother Rogers *yeah, honey, I already said that. Keep up*. If I didn't hit you in the head, why did you start acting like a crazed bilgesnipe?”

“UH?”

“Yeah, Mr. Speech Writer, you're not exactly speaking his language there. I see all sorts of miscommunications coming up.” 

Both blonds looked at him sternly, and Wade raised his palms in the *peace* gesture. They went back to ignoring him.

“You decided to engage in criminal life, attacked a shield brother, and left him to die... how is that right?”

“But... but...”

“Ya know, that's a good question... also, the story of my life, but I'm insane. What's YOUR excuse?”

“I had to save Bucky!”

There was a sharp sound, accompanied with a crack of wood.  
Seemed like Mr. Freeze had just lost his good humor, and slammed his metal hand on the poor table surface...

Spidey found the reconstructed metal arm *cool*, even cooler than the previous one... whatever that meant.  
When Wade asked, he'd gone on about Wakandian vibranium and neurotransmitters... Wade himself found it a bit *meh*, but, eh, personal taste.  
Meh or not, it was effective: That table now sported quite a neat hand print.

“Woah, dude! Very post modern art!”

Said dude wasn't amused, though.  
Deadpool opened his mouth, but some thread spun around him before he was hauled away, chair and all.

“Hey! NOT cool!”

“Sit. Stay. Good Deadpool.” Spidey was not joking, and he sighed.

Rogue sniggered a bit, but it was half hearted at best. She was keeping both eyes on Popsicle and Idiot... and her boyfriend was charging a card on the sly, behind his back.  
The others looked equally wary, Ms Danvers escorting the UN lawyer out.

 

Uh ho, things were about to get sporty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Bucky finally lost his temper!
> 
> And I'm also leaving you there, waiting for the next update... *Mwahaha*


	30. Bucky loses it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky has things to say, and he's going to say them!
> 
> Beta'ed by the fantastic VWebb. Thanks!

Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes had reached the end of his patience.

“* I had to save Bucky* is that what you're telling the others, Steve? Worse, is that what you're telling yourself?” He asked sharply.

“But... Bucky, I saved you!”

“No you didn't... at least you didn't save the *Bucky* you remember, the Bucky before Hydra. I'm not that man anymore... I can't be.”

“I don't understand. They removed...”

“They removed the triggers, Steve. The memories are here, pretty intact... you were there, Stevie, you heard me tell Stark: I remember all my hits. In fact, I remember most of my time as the Winter Soldier.   
Don't you see, Steve? I lived LONGER as a Hydra assassin than as Bucky Barnes by now.”

“But you'll get better!” Steve exclaimed in desperation.

“No I won't... and if you truly believe that, you're delusional. We can't turn back time, Stevie, no matter how much you want it.”

James raked his good hand through his longish hair.   
He'd kept the look, no matter how much Stevie insisted he get a haircut, and now he knew why.

“Don't get me wrong... I'm grateful you did all that to *save* me, Stevie. I truly am.  
But when I say it, I know I'm talking selfishly... and you should man up and admit you ACTED selfishly.”

Steve looked his mulish best as he answered.

“No! You were innocent, and Captain America protects the innocents!”

James stood up to look his childhood friend in the eye. If he was going to do this, he needed to face Steve Rogers as an equal.

“Bullshit.”

“Wha...”

“You heard me. Cut the crap, Stevie.   
You didn't protect *the innocents*, in fact, you and your pals hurt a great number of them in the process... you chose to protect ONE chosen innocent before all the others.   
I'm grateful, because that was me, but let's be honest here.   
I was a Hydra assassin for more than 60 years. Not exactly your standard definition of innocent.”

“But that wasn't you!”

James heard the edge of desperation in his friend's word, but he wouldn't, couldn't give in to it.   
Stevie's self-told fairy tale needed to be torn out of his brain, and it was apparently his job to do it. 

So be it.

“It WAS me, Steve. In fact, it STILL is.”

“I won't believe that!”

“And that's exactly your problem! Not mine. Not Stark's. Not the rest of the World. YOUR problem.”

Steve legs gave out and he landed on a chair, looking stunned, as Bucky towered over him.

“I... I don't understand.”

“No you don't.   
You only see what YOU want to see, only hear what YOU want to hear. 

These people here...” Bucky encompassed the other Avengers, silent and watching, with a gesture of his metal arm. “Have repeatedly called you out on the mistakes you made. So did the people outside, the civilians.   
You brushed them ALL off, calling them ignorant, or misguided... if not downright evil in some cases.”

“But, it was all Stark's fau...”

“DAMMIT STEVIE! NO!!!  
If anything, it was YOUR fault: YOU decided to keep secrets that weren't yours to keep, YOU decided to make a stand without all the info, YOU decided to drag your teammates into this!   
Granted, THEY decided to follow you blindly, and they're reaping the price for that.   
And as for those who opposed you? YOU decided it was your way or the Highway, not them.”

“I took a stand because they were wrong! As Captain America...”

“As Captain America what? YOU have the right to decide what is right and wrong, the rest of the world be damned?”

Steve's face told louder than words that that was what he'd been about to say. James sighed.   
That amount of stubbornness had been kinda cute in his sickly, shrimp-like childhood friend, but it wasn't so much so anymore.   
Time to go for the kill.

“Newsflash, punk: You're not Captain America anymore.   
YOU chose to let that go when you abandoned that shield, and you're not getting it back.   
At best, you're Private Rogers, member of the Avengers... I guess that makes me your Sergeant.”

 

Steve blinked. He wasn't the only one. 

James was aware he was pushing it a bit, since Stevie had no effective Army rank.   
But as long as the bonehead was intent on clinging on his somewhat fake military history, Bucky was going to use it.   
Whatever worked, he didn't mind bending the truth a little (okay, a lot).

Bucky heroically stifled a laugh as Deadpool opened his mouth, made a single sound, and was promptly silenced by some thick webbing over his head. The man started to hop around, chair and all, to the amusement of the others.

Yeah, back to the business at hand.

“On your feet, soldier!” James barked in his best *Sarge* voice. It worked, as Steve sprang to his feet. Ya, he still got it.

“To your room! Aaand forward, march!”

 

James marched the still stunned Steve to his room, not bothering to turn around as he heard something rip... and then Deadpool's loud complaints about not being able to *join in on the show*, and the others teasing him.

“At ease, Soldier. We're going to go over how things are going to be from now on... and I need the burner phone you got with the one you sent Stark.”

“But...”

“That's an order, soldier!”

Steve hesitated for a few seconds, and then opened the nightstand drawer and handed the thing over.

“Why did...”

“Because a phone work both ways. You'll get it back when you're ready... now, Private Rogers, on how to interact with...”

Bucky, as he laid down the law, knew he'd signed for a few years of this, till Steve found his marks again, almost shrugged.   
He didn't mind that much.

No matter what mess (and let's face it, it had been a HUGE one) Stevie had made in the process, he'd really been there for Bucky till the end of the line. The least he could do was return the favor.  
If that meant screaming at *The Stupid* at regular intervals so he wouldn't make an ass of himself, so be it.

 

He had a mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is...  
> You'll note that not one Avenger has been hurt in the making of this chapter... well, at least no one is bleeding.  
> And yes, I gave up on Steve seeing the light by himself. I tried, but it just didn't gel.  
> So I put someone with more than one brain cell in charge (The son of Pool was fun, but let's face it, he wasn't cutting it)
> 
> "Hey, you never told me I was allowed to kebab him! WHY do people never tell me these things?"
> 
> Deadpool? Sit! Stay!
> 
> *grumbles*
> 
> Good Deadpool.


	31. Wake up, Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A party at Tony's place... And the conclusion.
> 
> Beta'ed by VWebb, who's been awesome and super efficient all the way! Many thanks to you!

It was amazing the kind of changes that could happen in a few months.

Tony was sipping his lone glass of scotch for the evening (the downside of the Immortality Serum was that alcohol didn't do much for him anymore... unsurprisingly, Pepper didn't see that as a downside at all. Tony was sooo henpecked... and was loving every second of it, thank you very much), as the members of the New Security Council... plus a few aliens of the deity sort, mingled in his living room.

Thanos was still looming on the horizon, but the Earth was getting ready, taking its place amidst the other realms.

Tony himself had built Legion: a battalion of armors JARVIS and FRIDAY could operate in space, and that were currently stationed on the moon in an underground facility.

He'd also created SWARM, aka Space War Army Remote Missile: A very small, almost bird sized robot, powered by a mini arc reactor, that would attach itself to anything emitting on Thanos' army's frequency, burrow as deep as they could, and then detonate.  
A single one could not do much damage by itself, sure, but due to its size, SI could churn out hundreds of the deadly little things per month, thousands when word would reach of Thanos approaching.

Not that Tony was overjoyed about making weapons again, but he wanted to take out as much as possible of that army before it reached the Earth. 

As for the ground troops, they were also making progress on that front.  
The New Accords had been signed, more and more mutants and such joining the ranks of the various existing groups. And the UN Green Helmets had been holding their own, at least against the episodic Villain.

Speaking of villains, Doom, upon learning about the extra terrestrial threat, had given up (for the moment) his world domination project, and busied himself fortifying Latveria. Magneto, the crazy bastard, had also temporally suspended his *activities* to face the common threat.

Hydra were STILL assholes (no surprise there) but they had had a falling out with the Kree, so they were busy killing each other.  
It was more a problem of containing the fighting and protecting civilians. 

The Skrulls had taken off, since they were busy with Thanos' advance parties infringing on their empire. All good.

 

As for the Avengers?

 

Well, Thor had been crowned King of Asgard a couple of weeks ago.  
The Alldaddy had lost it in front of his entire court one day, barely coherent by all accounts, as he tried to attack his own Council.  
Thankfully, Gungnir had dropped out of his hand like a lead balloon after the first blast, and those two ravens had scooped it up, refusing to give it back.

According to Loki, one of them had even pooed into Odin's one good eye...

Tony got on surprisingly well with the Trickster (once he was over the window thing), since he'd learned his side of the story.  
Thor had left A LOT out, mostly because he didn't see what had been wrong, like the adoptee thing.  
That didn't bode well for the young Asgardian King once the big fight was over. Thor, and Asgard, would have much to learn.

But that wasn't exactly Tony's problem, and besides, they deserved it more than a little.

When Loki had told him how he'd turned the tables on Odin, making him a mostly powerless figurehead while freeing the other realms, Tony had laughed his head off.  
As revenge went, that was very much his style, minus the explosions.

And the others?

 

Well, Sam Wilson and Barton were living their lives, as far as Tony knew.  
Clint never tried to contact him again, so that was that.  
Wilson had sent a short, but genuine, apology note and apparently decided to put the whole thing behind him.  
According to SHIELD's files, he was even dating a co-worker he'd met at the retirement home he worked at.

Speaking of SHIELD, Natasha was back working on Hydra cells with her handler, a no-nonsense woman that, according to her file, would give Phil Coulson a run for his money in the Agentness department in a few years.  
The Widow was not a happy bunny, but she certainly didn't want a repeat of JARVIS' truth serum session, so she watched her steps.

Who else?

Scott Lang had requested to be transferred out of the Avengers compound, and worked in another SHIELD lab, apparently doing good work. He'd moved closer to his daughter.

Wanda had finally elected NOT to be an Avenger, even if she had signed the Accords.  
In the end she stayed with the X-men, feeling more secure in a group that boasted other strong telepaths. she also had also formed a strong bond to Wolverine... much to the older man's (partially fake) dismay.

Vision was on his way to becoming a five star chef.

Brucie had lived a few months in the Tower, but had finally taken off, feeling restless as usual.  
He was busy overseeing the construction of shelters to house third world populations for the big fight. He kept in touch, though.

Mean & Green had certainly promised to come back so he could HULK SMASH UGLIES with Tony when the time came.

 

And Captain America?

Well, Private Rogers had to learn to do without his Frisbee: Princess Shuri had pounced on the shield as soon as it was returned to Wakanda.  
She did not have it melted down, but instead had the thing soldered to the foot of her father's memorial, to hold a perpetually burning flame.

About Rogers himself, Tony would have never thought he would say that one day, but he was actually grateful to Barnes: The man had apparently taken his new job very seriously, and had appointed himself Private Rogers' Sergeant.

According to Coulson, it worked quite well, even if it was completely out there legally speaking.

The man had learned to obey orders, and if he still thought he was God's gift to humanity, at least he was keeping it to himself.  
Barnes had even managed to have him dress in a suit that didn't look like he was wearing the US flag on his ass. Amazing progress there.

 

Tony's phone vibrated discreetly. He raised an eyebrow, and wandered a bit to take the call in the privacy of his study.

“What is it, Jarv?”

“Sir, you have a call... it is THAT number.”

Oh. THAT number.  
Tony stood at the office bay window that overlooked the living room.  
He could see Loki and Strange actually socializing (or trying to out snub each other, same thing for those two), Fury literally keeping an eye on both.

Rhodey talking with Xavier about his prosthetic, a VERY interested General Abbot following the conversation. 

Peps and Hel, probably exchanging tips on how to keep their respective fiancé and father in line.  
One UN representative, talking to Frey, looking thrilled to met an actual elf. 

Happy explaining American football to a dwarf... and Vision coming out of the kitchen with another tray of finger foods.

He smiled.

“Put him through, JARVIS.”

“Tony?”

“Yes Capsicle. The one and only.”

“Tony, I wanted to say I was sorry about how things turned out...”

The genius blinked and almost laughed. Dear old Rogers, he never disappointed on the bullshit front.

“Well, yes, I'm sure you are. Not exactly the ending you envisioned, is it?”

“No, but it isn't about me.”

“You're right about that, Rogers.  
It went from being ALL about you, to being mostly NOT about you.  
Not about me, either. This world was never meant for a lone man to have sway over it, and that's perfectly fine.”

“Did you ever think we could have had a different ending?”

“The Avengers?”  
Tony shrugged, “anything is possible... I could have rolled over once more so the bunch of you could have wiped your feet on me AGAIN, I suppose. Too bad I didn't feel that way this time.”

“It wasn't like that, Tony!”

The inventor could feel Captain Idiot's patented disapproving frown over the line and took another look down into the living room. 

Pepper raised her eyes and smiled at him, gesturing for him to come back. Rhodey mirrored the motion, Loki and Fury raised their champagne glasses. 

Those were his friends, his associates, people who worked WITH him.  
Sure, he couldn't trust all of them all the way, they had their own agendas too. Tony looked at Fury and knew the old pirate's hands were itching to get a hold on one of his SWARM bots, for one.  
But such was life, and Fury never pretended to be a saint... It was sort of refreshing, after the Avengers.

“You keep telling yourself that, Rogers. But then, I have only one thing to say to you,” he said very casually.

“And what is that?”

 

“Wake up, Princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! It's done!  
> Woohoo! I managed to finish a story!  
> Thanks to all of you that have been commenting, it kept the Muse fed and happy, and the plot bunnies more or less contained.  
> All the kudos to you, it was an awesome experience!
> 
> Now, let's break open that Asgardian mead and PARTY! *sends confetti and streamers up in the air*


End file.
